Kim Possible Porn Story: Failure Is The Only Option Chapter 6

Kim Possible is owned by Disney, not me, so dont sue me. Please and thank you.

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The seconds were ticking down for Kim and Dr. Possible, with more than just the $25,000 question on the line.

Im sorry Kim, apologized Wade. Theres not much I can do without your Kimmunicator. But Ive been able to scan your biosignatures, so at least Ill be able to track you as you pass into new TV shows. Any idea who has your Kimmunicator?

Kim thought for a moment, and then remembered what had happened. Yes! Bonnie had just walked into the lab with it when the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer was activated.

Wade smiled. Great, Kim. Thats a start at least. Ill check with her and catch you later . . . same time, same station! Wade laughed as he closed the connection.

Maribeth looked perplexed. Wow, that was some Call-A-Friend you had there, Kim! The audience laughed as Kim smiled and blushed again.

Uh, yeah, I guess so Maribeth! Dad, how about that answer, quick!

It was now Dr. Ps turn to smile. Nooooo problem, Kimmie. Maribeth, the answer is B), where short-period comets originate, final answer. A soft drum roll was heard as the audience collectively held their breath.

Maribeth slowly said, Oh, Im so sorry, James . . . He looked shocked. . . . but Kim didnt also say final answer. Youre correct! Youve both won $25,000! The audience cheered as James and Kim breathed a sigh of relief, happy that they had only been the recipients of one of Maribeths famous fake-outs.

Thanks Maribeth! Dr. P began to expound on his answer. I knew it wasnt A), because long-period comets originate in the Oort Cloud, and it couldnt be C), because some, but not all Trans-Neptunian Objects originate in the Kuiper Belt, and I think only Kimmie knows what type of belt holds up Ronalds pants. Looking sternly at Kim, he continued, But she better not!

Kim just laughed and smiled weakly as Maribeth continued. All right, heres your $50,000 question . . .

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Bonnie was pouting in the back of the squad car as it made its way to the Lowerton Police Station.

No one had better be watching this show! she yelled to no one in particular. How am I possibly going to live this down? she thought morosely to herself. Suddenly, the Kimmunicator beeped. Startled out of her deep funk, she answered it. Hello?

Wade appeared on the screen. Bonnie, is that you?

Yes! she yelled. Wade, youve got to help me!

No problem Bonnie. Youve been sucked into cable-TV by one of Kims evil arch-enemies, but I should be able to get you out. Wade noticed where she was sitting. Hey, is that a police cruiser youre in?

Duh! she sarcastically replied. Now get me out of here!

No problem. Just let me get a lock on your location. Wades fingers flew over his computer keyboard. Hey Bonnie, did you get arrested for something?

Bonnie folded her arms and crossed he legs as she bitingly replied, I SO do NOT want to talk about it! Just get me out of here before they book me!

Wades fingers continued to race over the keyboard. Ive cross-referenced TV shows with your time, location and local police scanners, and . . . WHOA! Wade busted out laughing. Bonnie! Solicitation? And youre on COPPERS? Wait till the gang heres about this!

The color of Bonnies face was approaching the shade of the red light atop the patrol car. Through gritted teeth, she warned, Wade, if you tell ANYONE about this, youll be SO DEAD! Do . . . you . . . under . . . stand?

Sure thing, Bon-Bon. Or should I say, Candy? Wade snorted as he broke out laughing again.

Bonnie screamed so loud that the Kimmunicators sound distorted.

Wade laughed reassuringly, Dont worry Bonnie, I know that youre innocent, and youre secrets safe with me. Now, hold the Kimmunicator up to the door.

Bonnie complied, and two tiny flexible arms appeared out of the Kimmunicator. One snaked its way down the car window; the other jimmied the recessed door handle. A moment later, she heard a large click.

OK, when the car stops at the next light, open the door and make a run for it, Wade instructed. And dont forget the Kimmunicator!

Thanks Wade! OK, here goes . . . Bonnie leapt out of the police car and dashed around the corner.

Wade continued. Now that youre out of camera range, this show should end and you should be transported into a new TV program of my choice. Im also scanning for everyones biosignatures, so when everyone is back together, I can get you all out at the same time.

Bonnie was beginning to calm down as she realized what was happening. The sooner the better, Wade! And see if you cant put me in a show a little less embarrassing?

OK, Im putting you into the studio audience of a sitcom thats being taped. You should be switching . . . now! Wade pressed a button on his keyboard.

Bonnie reappeared in a new show, but not in the audience. She appeared to be in the wings just off of a stage where two dancers were just exiting. She looked down and noticed that she was now wearing a beautiful floor-length red satin dress. And standing right next to her was . . .

Im so sorry my dear, I hadnt planned on trapping you in the vortex as well, just that meddlesome Kimberly Ann. Wearing a black tuxedo, Dr. Drakken bowed slightly as he spoke.

Bonnie yelled, Wade! Im not in the audience, and that blue-skinned freak is standing right next to me!

Wade was perplexed. What? Youre with Drakken? And the show looks like . . .

An announcer began to speak. Now lets welcome our next couple, Bonnie Rockwaller and Dr. Drakken, as they perform the tango on . . . Dancing With The Scoundrels!

Wade was perplexed. Something is seriously wrong here!

Ya think? Get me out of here, Wade! yelled Bonnie.

Sorry, my controls are being overridden by another program more powerful than mine, Wade said apologetically.

Drakken spoke up. Oh, that would be my Magnetronic Personality Analyzer. I designed it to scan the brainwaves of anyone entering the vortex, and place them in a show where theyd have the greatest chance of humiliation or injury. I just wasnt planning on being in the vortex myself . . .

Bonnie, Ive got to try and get a hold of Kim again! Hang in there, and good luck! Wade cut the connection just as Bonnie began to scream again.

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Kim and Dr. Possible were getting ready for their next question.

Maribeth spoke. OK, James and Kim, for $50,000, how many symphonies did Gustav Mahler complete before his death in 1911? Your choices are A) Eight, B) Nine, C) Ten, or D) Eleven. You have 45 seconds, and all of your lifelines are gone.

Kim and Dr. P looked at each other sadly. Sorry Kim, but classical music isnt my forte, no pun intended.

Disappointed, Kim replied, I dont know either, Dad. I guess well just have to walk.

Maribeth suddenly looked surprised. James and Kim, this is highly unusual, but theres been a sudden rule change. You now have another Call-A-Friend lifeline!

Wade, youre a miracle worker! Kim thought. Well use it now, Maribeth! Wed like to call Wade!

Maribeth responded, OK, lets get Wade on the line.

After one ring, Wade answered. Kim! Ive found Bonnie, but now shes with Drakken on Dancing With The Scoundrels!

Oh, no! Poor Bonnie . . . Kim said.

Dr. P raised his eyebrows and replied, Poor Bonnie? Poor Drew!

Dad! Kim hissed.

Wade continued. Anyway, Drakken said something about a Magnetronic Personality Analyzer, which is overriding my attempts at choosing the TV channels and pulling you all into the same show at the same time. I can only pull you all back if youre all in the same show. Ill get to the research center as soon as I can and see if I can work directly on the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer.

Kim smiled. You totally rock, Wade!

Oh, and by the way, the answer is C), Ten. Mahler was superstitious about writing a ninth symphony because other composers like Beethoven had died after writing nine. So after composing his Eighth Symphony, he wrote a song cycle called Das Lied von der Erde, and called it a symphony, but didnt number it. Then he completed his ninth numbered symphony, and started composing a tenth, but died before finishing it. He tried to tempt fate, but lost. Trick question, guys.

You totally, totally rock, Wade! Kim beamed.

Rock, Classical, its all the same to me. Get it? Rock, Classical? Wade snorted.

Kim rolled her eyes. Now youre totally lame, Wade, but thanks anyway. Maribeth: C), Ten, final answer.

Maribeth smiled. Wade was right, the answer is ten! Youve won $50,000! Suddenly a klaxon sounded, signaling the end of the game. Well, thats all we have time for today, but tune in tomorrow for more Who Wants To Be A Trillionaire!

Kim and Dr. P felt the scene fade before their eyes, which was quickly replaced by another scene as they reappeared in a new TV program. They heard a new announcer speaking.

This is John Vogelsong, and were down to the last three finalists for the funniest video of the year, on Americas Facetious Home Videos! And the first of our three finalists is: Naked Mole Rat On A Sled!

A video played of Rufus sledding down a snow-covered mountain. Immediately behind him an avalanche was roaring down the slope, threatening to bury the hapless mole rat. As the avalanche caught up with him, Rufus looked behind him and exclaimed, Uh-oh! Kim held her breath as the mountain of snow buried poor Rufus. But suddenly a little head popped up out of the fresh powder, and with his huge buckteeth in a wide grin, he exclaimed, Im okay! Kim visibly relaxed as the audience laughed.

The next finalist is, Boy Loses Pants! Kim was horrified as a montage began of just about every sitch in which Ron had ever lost his pants. It began with the time that his grappling gun ripped his pants off, and continued with the mountain climbing incident, as he hung precariously upside down suspended in midair and held up only by his pants around his ankles. The next one showed Ron at the Yamanouchi school, his deft use of a ninja stick accidentally removing his obi and reducing him down to his shorts. The clip ended with his most recent faux pas: changing back to normal size after having become a naco-induced mutant giant, his smaller frame allowed his torn and expanded pants to fall off. He sighed, Ron . . . lose . . . pants . . . and collapsed into Kims arms.

And our last finalist is, Baby Takes A Bath! The video rolled, and Kim blanched as she recognized herself when she was a very small child, happily splashing in the bathwater, naked as the day she was born. Oh . . . my . . . god . . . Kim exclaimed, as she quickly looked around for anything to hide under. Dad, how could you?! And on nationwide TV?! she yelled.

Sorry, Kim, but it looks like Drakken is to blame this time. Still, my little Kimmie-Cub is awfully cute! The audience let out a huge awwww in agreement.

Kim just covered her face with her hands. The most embarrassing moment in my life has just become . . . my newest most embarrassing moment ever! When I get my hands on Drakken, hell wish hed never been BORN!

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Wow. Sorry for the long chapter, but its a real challenge to create new sitches and advance the plot without becoming too confusing. Next up, its Bonnie and Drakkens turn at humiliation, and Shego is a guest on a famous home decorating show. Update hopefully by Friday. Enjoy!