Kim Possible Porn Story: Failure Is The Only Option Chapter 4

Kim Possible Porn Story: Failure Is The Only Option Chapter 4

Kim Possible is owned by Disney, not me. Seriously!

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Drakken looked around the room in which he had just appeared. It looked exactly like one of his earlier lairs. In fact, it was his very first lair, down to the smallest detail.

What am I doing here? I had the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer aimed at Kim Possibles cheerleader friend! Unless . . . nngh! Ill bet Dr. Possible was monkeying with the wires and accidentally set the device on wide-beam, which means weve all been swept into the vortex! He looked around the dark room. But wheres everybody else? Hmm. No matter, Ill just use the Quantum Reverser to escape, and leave the rest of them trapped here, right after I find Shego.

He pushed a few buttons, but the device didnt activate.

Arghh! Whats wrong with this thing? It was working fine when I tested it! Drakken checked it over, and made an irritating discovery. The battery is missing! That accursed mole rat must have taken it when the sidekick distracted me! Well, no matter, Ill just grab another spare from the drawer here . . . somewhere . . .

He rummaged through the drawer, but quickly realized that as this was his first lair, the particular battery he needed wouldnt be invented for several more years. Yelling several unintelligible curses, he finally sat down to decide what to do next. His ruminations were suddenly interrupted by a disembodied voice dramatically speaking from all around him.

Dr. Drakken, the self-styled mad scientist and nemesis of teen-heroine Kim Possible, holds the world record for secret lairs that have exploded, collapsed, or otherwise been spectacularly destroyed. And well relive each and every one of them over the next half-hour, so hold onto your seats! Im your host, Don Fitts, and this is . . . DESTROYED IN MOMENTS!

Oh, snap . . .

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Rufus looked around the landscape in which he had just appeared. A broad expanse of desert lay before him, several large mesas and buttes jutting up from the colorful terrain of the American Southwest. He looked down and noticed he was on a paved road. Looking one way, the road extended to the horizon. Looking the other way, it led towards one of the mesas.

With a quizzical expression on his face, Rufus chattered to himself, wondering what to do. The scene froze as a caption appeared beneath him: Heterocephalus glaber supersonicus. A moment later the scene unfroze as he continued looking around, his nose sniffing the air.

Uh oh!

Suddenly he froze, sensing that he was being watched. The scene changed to a close-up of a scrawny and apparently very hungry coyote. He eyed Rufus in the distance, and with a huge slurping noise licked his lips with his large tongue. The scene froze again as a caption appeared beneath the coyote: Canis latrans famishus. As the scene unfroze, the coyote took off like a shot, running upright directly toward Rufus.

Rufus exclaimed Whoa! and took off towards the mesa. But his speed was suddenly faster than he had ever run before, and accompanied by the sound of a roaring jet engine, he left a huge trail of dust behind him. Huffing and puffing, the coyote gradually slowed down, then stopped as he watched Rufus retreat in the distance.

The coyote scratched his chin, then pulled out a mail-order catalogue. Quickly filling out a coupon, he stamped it and stuck it into a conveniently located mailbox, which was immediately picked up by a postal truck. Right away, another truck roared up and delivered the items he had just ordered. The large capital letters clearly disclosed the first boxs contents: ACMEE INSTANT NACHO CHEESE MAKER. The coyote opened the box with glee, drooling as he assembled the cheese maker.

Rufus chose this moment to reappear, zooming up directly behind the coyote without being seen. Curious as to what he was building, Rufus meant to say Whatcha doin? but instead it came out sounding like Beep-Beep! The coyote was instantly startled, jumping thirty feet into the air. Rufus watched as he went straight up, then came back down, landing directly on his head and creating a small crater in the road. Rufus tried to say Bye-bye! but again sounded like Beep-Beep! as he roared off back down the highway.

The coyote climbed out of the crater, nursing a huge lump that had appeared on his head. Quickly finishing the cheese maker and placing it in the middle of the road, he turned his attention to the other box, which was clearly labeled ACMEE PATRIOT MISSILE LAUNCHER AND HOMING DEVICE. A trumpet flourish was heard as a huge smile broke out on his face. He quickly assembled the launch platform behind a small rise just out of sight of the cheese maker.

Having completed the launcher, he quickly tiptoed over to the cheese maker and punched a button. Delicious yellow goo spewed out of it and onto the road, creating a miniature mountain of cheese. He stuck one finger of his paw into the viscous mess and tasted it, smacking his lips in approval. He then placed the tiny electronic homing device near the very top, just under the surface of the cheese. For the final touch, he stuck a sign into the very top of the mound, which read FREE CHEESE. Tiptoeing back to the missile launcher, he donned a white crash helmet and climbed into the seat to await the return of Rufus.

Rufus could smell the delicious aroma from a mile away, and exclaimed, CHEEESE! As fast as a bullet, he rocketed down the highway toward his meal, as the coyote drooled and licked his lips in anticipation of his own lunch. Arriving at the cheese, Rufuss body vibrated rapidly as he came to a complete and sudden stop. With a huge smile on his face, he immediately began gobbling up the cheese, scarfing it down at incredible speed. As soon as he was done, he let out a contented burp, and with a cheerful Beep-Beep, again took off down the highway.

The coyote smiled with evil glee as he aimed the missile and punched the firing button. The rocket fired with a terrific whoosh, heading directly for Rufus at high speed, and both were quickly out of sight. Rufus had no problem staying just ahead of the missile, but suddenly he gave in to the urge for an abrupt stop. The missile made the sound of tires screeching to a halt as it stopped in midair, barely a foot away from the hitherto supersonic mole rat. Smiling, Rufus pointed back in the direction they had both come. The missile promptly turned around and shot back in the direction of the cheese maker.

Meanwhile, the coyote was wondering why he hadnt heard an explosion yet. Surely the missile could catch up with even that supersonic rodent! He carefully walked onto the road, and looked in the direction that he had fired the missile. With a frown on his face, he folded his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. Then he noticed the sign still sticking straight up in the middle of the road. He scratched his head and walked over to it. Picking it up, he noticed that the missiles homing beacon was attached to the sign with a small piece of melted cheese, courtesy of Rufus. The coyote looked aghast at the camera, his snout and both of his ears drooping in resignation to his fate. As he heard the whoosh of the rapidly approaching missile, he quickly turned his sign around, which now read YIKES! The inevitable explosion was terrific, filling the entire screen and ending the cartoon.

The familiar theme music played as the Merry Melodys credits began to roll, and suddenly Rufus burst through the backdrop to say, Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Thats all folks!

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Bonnie found herself alone on a dark street late at night. She looked around, but didnt recognize the surroundings. However, it looked like a bad part of town, whatever town it was. A seedy-looking bar was across the street, its neon lights flickering erratically.

Ooh, I am SO going to get Kim for this. I try to help her out and what do I get? Sent who knows where by some blue-skinned freak!

She turned around and saw an all-night liquor store. Its name revealed her location.

Lowerton Liquors? What the hell am I doing in Lowerton?

A big, brawny man walked out of the liquor store and spotted Bonnie. He approached her and said, Hey pretty girl, wanna party?

Bonnies anger flared as her jaw dropped. So not! Take one more step and Ill scream! She quickly rummaged through her purse for her pepper spray just as a police car pulled up. An officer got out and approached them, followed by another man with a video camera.

All right, whats going on here? the officer barked.

Bonnie replied, Officer, this freak is SO majorly bothering me!

The officer looked her over, his face strangely showing little concern. I need to see some ID, miss.

Bonnie looked shocked. My ID? Why?

Just show me your ID please, was his gruff reply. Bonnie took it out and handed it to him. He looked it over and said, Bonnie Rockwaller, of Middleton. What brings you to Lowerton at 2 AM on a Saturday night, Miss Rockwaller? A little past your curfew, dont you think? He looked over her outfit. And its a little chilly to be wearing just a cheerleaders costume.

Bonnie stammered a quick reply. I have no idea, officer! I was at the Middleton Space Museum when I was hit by this strange ray and found myself here!

The officer looked her over. Right. Strange ray. Dressed like a cheerleader, in Lowertons red light district at 2 in the morning. Im afraid well need to take a trip downtown, Miss Rockwaller.

Wha what for? Bonnie had a sinking feeling that she was in deep trouble.

Im placing you under arrest for solicitation. You have the right to remain silent . . .

NO! she yelled.

. . . and anything you say can be held against you in a court of law, the officer continued.

Another voice began, coming from all around Bonnie.

COPPERS is filmed on location. All suspects are assumed innocent until proven guilty.

Im on COPPERS?! Bonnie screamed. The officer placed her in the squad car as the theme music began.

Bad girls, bad girls. . .

No, Im not!

Whatya gonna do when theyre huntin for you . . .

No one is hunting for me!

When you were nine and your traits werent fine . . .

I was perfect when I was nine!

You went to school and learned the golden rule . . .

WHAT golden rule?

So why do you act like a silly fool . . .

Im nobodys fool!

You think youre hot but you aint cool . . .

I AM hot! Oops, not like that! You know what I mean!

Bonnies yelling trailed off into the distance as the patrol car left, leaving behind the brawny man with a mullet.

Hmm. She was kinda hot. Seriously!

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Well, we’ve seen where everybody has ended up for starters, but that’s not all folks! And kudos to Screaming Phoenix and CajunBear73 for their prescience regarding the likely outcome of Ron & Shego’s air battle, to be posted on Monday . . . Auf wiedersehen!

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