Kim Possible Porn Story: Failure Is The Only Option Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Kim Possible is owned by Disney, not me. Celebrity parodies are ok under free use rules; so dont sue me, please? (Note puppy-dog pout.)

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Shego and Dr. Drakken found themselves in a courtroom, awaiting the arrival of the judge. The audience mulled about restlessly, staring at the two and speaking to each other in hushed tones.

Shego spoke first. Well, what new fresh hell is this?

Drakken seemed perplexed, which was of course normal, considering the circumstances. I I dont know, Shego. But it seems unusual that neither of us are shackled.

Yeah, and I dont see the usual SWAT team armed to the teeth to guard us, she replied.

Yes, I remember that courtroom you leveled once, he chuckled.

Music began to play, a jazzy rendition of Beethovens Fifth. The announcer began to speak.

Real Cases! Real Villains! Judgin Judith!

Oh, snap, whispered Dr. D.

The bailiff spoke. Order! All rise.

Judge Judith swept into the courtroom and sat down at the bench as the audience was seated. She took a quick look at the two villains who stood before her. Dr. D took the opportunity to speak first.

How are you today, your honor?

Dont ask me how Im doing. Bailiff, I wasnt aware we allowed aliens in court.

But Im not an alien, your honor. I was born here in the US.

Dr. D, I think she means extraterrestrial.

Oh, my blue skin color? No, Im human, your honor. You see, it happened on a Tuesday . . .

Never mind, lets just proceed please. And whats your excuse, Miss . . .

Shego.

All right, Miss Shego.

No, just Shego.

Dont contradict me. Why are you green?

Hit by a comet, your honor.

A Ford Comet?

No, from outer space.

So you ARE an extraterrestrial.

No, only the comet. I was born in Go City.

The judge quietly put her head in her hands as she mumbled, I can tell its going to be one of those days . . . She directed her attention back to the two villains and continued.

All right, well proceed on the assumption that both of you are . . . human, and US citizens. This case has been brought against Mr. Lipsky by Miss Shego for overdue payment of wages for services rendered from 2002 to the present. Miss Shego, please begin by explaining the nature of the working relationship.

Yes, your honor. Dr. Drak . . . uh, Mr. Lipsky is a . . . uh, scientist, and Im his, uh, assistant.

The judge fixed Shego with an icy cold stare. Dont lie to me, young lady. You lie to me and Ill wipe up the floor with you. Dont think I dont recognize Dr. Drakken, and that makes you his henchwoman.

Yes your honor, but I do have an employment contract with him at present.

Oh, puhleeze! Are you kidding me? And does this contract spell out exact duties?

Not exactly. Mainly only hours, wages and benefits.

Mainly? And youre telling me it doesnt spell out specific illegal activities, which would make you an accomplice and an accessory in his attempts to take over the world?

Thats correct.

Baloney!

But if youll check the contract . . .

This is outrageous!

Now wait a minute . . .

Do NOT throw the bull at me!

THAT does it! Shego fired up one glove.

“Shut down that plasma right now, young lady! Ill have none of that in my courtroom! You mess around with me, and I’ll mop the floor up with you worse than anyone else has ever tackled you! We follow each other?”

Shego and the judge stared fiercely at each other for what seemed like an eternity, neither daring to blink. The audience held their breath in rapt attention, frozen with fear about what would happen next.

Slowly, Shego lowered her hand and extinguished the flame. The judge continued.

Good call. This is a case of whos got the most attitude. And right now thats me.

Drakken poorly chose this moment to speak up.

Uh, your honor . . .

“Sir, you want to say something to me? You sure you want to say something to me?”

Nngh . . .

Nngh is not an answer.

Er, no, actually . . .

Have you ever heard of me?

Well, I used to watch you occassionally on cable when I was in Cell Block D.

And if you would have watched me more frequently, you would have never been here today.

But if youll allow me to explain . . .

Are you trying to justify that youre an idiot?

Well, thats a bit harsh . . .

Do you come from a long line of idiots?

Uh, no, I actually almost graduated from college, your honor. Taking over the world has always been, well, kind of a hobby of mine, and Ive always considered myself as an idea person.

Dumb ideas come from people who have dumb brains.

But Ive almost succeeded several times . . .

So you admit youve done this ridiculous thing.

Well, heh-heh, I wouldnt exactly say ridiculous . . .

Dont tell me you didnt. Either youre playing dumb, or its not an act.

I admit that it can get rather . . . expensive . . . in trying to take over the world, and the assets to pay Shego for her services do get a bit thin at times, but this humiliation youre putting me through . . .

Youve tried to take over the world, failed countless times, and you think Im not going to humiliate you in front of 10 million people? This is my joy in life. Now, arent you sorry you made a fool of yourself? Sit down!

Rendered speechless, Drakken sat down with an air of defeat, resigned to a fate he had unwittingly brought upon himself.

And you, Miss Shego. You think your looks and your powers are ultimately going to get you anywhere? Just remember: beauty fades, but dumb is forever.”

Well, I . . .

Whoa. You speak, I rule, and then you shut up.

With a shocked look on her face, Shegos mouth hung open. Like Drakken, and for nearly the first time in her life, she was also speechless. The judge gruffly continued.

Now. Ive reviewed the contract, and Im convinced both of its validity as an employer/employee document, and the lack of any overtly specific requirements to commit any kind of crime. And in spite of any circumstantial evidence to the contrary, there are presently no outstanding warrants for Miss Shego, so Im ruling in favor of the plaintiff. Court dismissed. The judge banged her gavel.

The bailiff then spoke, Parties are excused, you may step out.

The audience breathed a sigh of relief as Shego and Drakken walked unsteadily towards the exit.

As they left the courtroom, the judge commented to the bailiff, Other normal people lead happy moral lives and give birth to happy, moral offspring. Id hate to see the spawn of that relationship.

Outside the courtroom, Drakken was approached by an interviewer. Mr. Lipsky, are you disappointed with the outcome?

He frowned as he answered, Nngh, yes, but that was to be expected. Ive had serious cash flow problems ever since losing my cupcake business, thats all. But Im just happy to have made it out of that court in one piece.

The interviewer then turned his attention toward Shego. And Miss Shego: you won, but Judge Judith sure put you through the wringer. How do you feel about it?

Shego lit up both hands and thoroughly blasted the interviwer. There, now I feel great! she remarked cheerfully. She continued to smile as she walked up to Drakken.

Well Dr. D, I hadnt planned on this little diversion, but maybe now youll pay up so we can put this all behind us.

He sighed, Of course, Shego, I just wish it hadnt come to this. But just remember, every journey begins with a single step.

Yeah, but in your case, its usually right off a cliff.

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Wade had made it to the research center as quickly as he could and was inspecting the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer. He frowned at what he saw.

Wow, what a mess. It may be awhile before I can sort out all these wires and extra devices. I better check in with Bonnie.

Wade flipped open his Kimmunicator and reached Bonnie immediately. Bonnie! Its Wade.

Bonnie was obviously still in a snit. Well its about time, computer geek! When are you getting me out of here? I was humiliated while dancing with that blue freak, and I just finished a shampoo commercial!

Wade asked, What was wrong with the shampoo commercial? They usually have beautiful girls on them, dont they?

Bonnie petulantly responded, Yeah, but they only used me for the BEFORE picture, not the AFTER! Oooh! That made me SO mad! At least Dr. P got to be used for both before and after on that Just For Guys hair color commercial. Then she smiled wickedly. And do you think you can get me a copy of Kims pimple cream commercial? The rest of the cheer squad will just die when they see that one!

Wade hesitated. Uh, Ill see what I can do, Bonnie, but I really need to try to get all you guys together. Hold on, Im picking up Kim on a Horizon Wiredless commercial. Wade put Bonnie on split-screen as he attempted to connect with Kim. Kim! Can you hear me now?

Kim smirked, Very funny, Wade. Whats the sitch?

Im at the research facility and trying to download the schematic for the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer, and cross-reference with the specs for the Magnetronic Personality Analyzer on my portable laptop. Theres primary, secondary and tertiary encryption here at the lab, and Im trying to hack the HenchCo site for the Analyzers specs. But its virtually impossible to decrypt, hack, download and sync all at the same time, and . . . GOT IT! Okay, with a little luck I think I can get you, your Dad and Bonnie into the same program. But I dont know where Ron, Rufus, Drakken and Shego are.

Wade, you still have Ron microchipped, dont you? Kim asked.

Kim! You know thats been outlawed in 24 states and the District of Columbia! Wade replied.

But its still legal in Colorado, right? reminded Kim.

Yeah, all right . . . he conceded.

Please and thank you! she chirped.

All right, Kim, Ive made a few adjustments. I cant promise anything, but here goes . . .

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Poor Drakken cant seem to get a break, can he? And Shego ironically gets the legal system to work in her favor, while learning that discretion truly is the better part of valour, especially when back wages are on the line. So what lies ahead for our intrepid band? Stay tuned, same Ferret time, same Ferret station!