Kim Possible Porn Story: Failure Is The Only Option Chapter 18

Disclaimer: The Disney Corp. may own the rights to my cousin, but Im still a 12th level wizard on Friday nights . . .

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The probability of two events occurring is determined by dividing the number of ways that one event can occur by the total number of ways anything can occur. The probability of two events occurring at exactly the same time is many orders of magnitude higher. However, the probability of the three worst possible events occurring simultaneously and at precisely the same nanosecond is virtually guaranteed when considering the combined effects of the Kim Factor, the Ron Factor and the Drakken Factor . . .

Wade Load, Doctoral Thesis in Interdimensional Quantum Physics, Middleton Institute of Science and Technology, 2014.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As everyone was sucked into the swirling quantum vortex, all natural laws of time and space were suddenly suspended. They swirled helplessly through a bizarre void as unimaginable amounts of energy hideously arced through what seemed to be the entire width and breadth of the universe, but within a moment of time too small to even measure. Billions of galaxies appeared to be created in one moment only to be totally destroyed in the next. It was as if they were all watching 2001: A Space Odyssey on galactic-strength steroids.

And then as suddenly as it had begun, it was over.

Unable to breath or speak while in the vortex, everyone found themselves screaming as soon as they reappeared, but quickly stopped when they realized that reality had once again been restored. Ron was the first to speak.

Whoa! What was that?

Kim quickly asked, Is everyone okay?

Everyone responded in the affirmative.

Kim looked around and noticed that they appeared to be back in Drakkens lair. She then noticed that she was apparently looking into a mirror, but her movements werent being reflected back quite right. In fact, they werent being reflected at all. Kim nearly jumped out of her skin when her image spoke.

Who are you? And what are we doing here?

Everyone in the room suddenly realized they were looking into the eyes of their double.

With a quiver in her voice, Bonnie said, Kim, I dont think were in Kansas anymore . . .

Rufus looked closely into his twins eyes as they each blinked in wonder.

All of a sudden, everyone began talking and trying to find out everything at once. After a few seconds of excited but unintelligible chatter, Shego yelled out in frustration, STOOOOOOP!

Everyone fell silent and stared at Shego, who was now beside herself with anger, both literally and figuratively.

All right! One at a time! And I call dibs! She faced her apparent doppelganger. Okay, are you me, and vice-versa?

The other Shego crossed her arms and replied, Apparently. And let me guess, this is somehow Drakkens fault, right? She removed a small nail file and began sharpening her gloves.

The first Shego turned to the others with a smile and said, Well, Im convinced!

At the same time, both Drakkens turned toward her and started protesting their total innocence in the matter.

Shego 1 quickly held up a glove. Whoa! Whoa! One at a time!

She then noticed that her doubles gloves didnt look quite right. Hey, what gives?

Shegos right glove was black, but her double instead wore a green glove on her right hand, and a black glove on her left. She then noticed something on the wall. Where she had once burned Shego Rocks into the wall with her plasma, the writing was now reversed, as if it were being seen in a mirror.

The two Drakkens then eyed each other carefully. Drakken 2 commented, Er, you seem to have your scar below your left eye instead of your right. Uh, that didnt happen on a Tuesday by chance, did it?

The Doctors Possible smiled as they eyed each others hair. Well, Dr. Possible, that gray streak looks very distinguished on the other side.

Why, thank you, but please, call me James.

Well then, James. Parallel universe, I assume?

Surrrrre looks like it. Excellent deduction, Doctor Possible!

The two Rons had begun playing a mirror game and trying to imitate the others moves. First they wiped an invisible mirror between them, then began moving from side to side in an attempt to trick the other into a false move. The two Rufii were busily chattering with each other, grateful to have at last found at least one other creature that spoke their mutual language.

The four Tweebs thought that this was the coolest thing since the invention of indoor rocketry, and began playing a game of tag. The two Bonnies in the meantime had sat down and began discussing boys, cheerleading, and how they each deserved to be in charge of the cheer squad.

Shego 1 and 2 had both fired up their plasma and were eyeing Drakken 1 and 2 with mutually evil smiles.

Uh, Shego . . .

Lets not be hasty now . . .

Just a minor setback . . .

No need to resort to violence . . .

Shego 1 simply looked at her twin and said, Double the pleasure?

Shego 2 completed the thought. Double the fun!

They opened fire simultaneously on the two hapless Drakkens, who yelled and screamed as they unsuccessfully tried to escape the twin plasma attack.

Oh, this feels sooo good . . .

Dont you know it, sister!

The two Kims had quickly recovered from their initial shock. Kim 1 asked, Well, uh . . . Kim, what do we do now? This really is so the drama . . .

Kim 2 replied, Uh, how about we call Wade?

Kim 1 smiled. Spankin idea!

They each pulled out their Kimmunicators and flipped them open, simultaneously saying, Whats the sitch, Wade? With a surprised look, they each yelled, Jinx! You owe me a soda! and began to laugh.

Within a few moments, the respective Wades had figured out what probably had happened.

Wade 1 surmised, Okay, so when we were all in our own universes and trapped within our respective TV shows, we all flipped our respective switches at exactly the same time as our counterparts did in the parallel universe? Whoa! What are the odds?

Wade 2 finished slurping on his soda. You said it! This is totally awesome! Just think of the scientific ramifications, as well as the potential for advancements in technology! And even more important . . .

The two Wades spoke in unison, WELL BOTH BE RICH AND FAMOUS!

Kim 1 then spoke. Uh, guys, sorry to interrupt your little mutual admiration society . . .

. . . but how are we going to get everyone back to their own dimension? Kim 2 finished.

Wade 1 said, Uh, lets ask the two Dr. Ps what they think.

After a short conference, Dr. Possible 1 spoke. I think youre right, James. By duplicating the events that got us here and reversing the polarities of both the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer and the Quantum Reverser, that should return us back to our own dimension, and transport you out of the airwaves and back into your own reality.

Dr. Possible 2 agreed. Yes, just like in the first season of Space Passage: The Original Series! What do you think, Wade? Uh, Wades?

We concur.

But of course we would, were identical!

Both Wades snorted in amusement and they said in unison, Well get right on it!

Kim 1 interrupted, Uh, guys, wasnt the Large Hadron Collider destroyed at the end of that last sitch?

Kim 2 continued, Yeah, so how are you going to duplicate the same events if you cant create a black hole?

Wade 1 frowned. Ooh. Good point, Kim.

Wade 2 suddenly had an idea. But wait, that was just a James Blond movie! Hold on just a sec. He quickly flipped through a TV Guide. Theres a special about CERN and the Large Haldron Collider on the Discover Channel in half an hour! We can drop each of our respective groups into that show, and then well all have the necessary power to get everyone all the way home. Problem solved!

The two Rufii happily chirped, Oh, boy!

The air had a slight odor of singed hair as the two Drakkens sulked quietly in the corner and applied some salve to each others plasma burns. The two Shegos kept a close eye on them to insure that there would be no more last minute surprises before they could all get back to their respective realities.

Hey, you two . . .

. . . No touchy the equipment!

Arghh. Is she as snippy in your universe as she is in mine?

Unngh, more, if that were possible . . .

The two Rons then walked up to the two Kims.

Kim, this is so bon-diggety cool! Were so evenly matched . . .

. . . that we just tied a game of Zombie Mayhem IV!

The respective Kims simply rolled their respective eyes as they said in unison, Please hurry, Wade . . .

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Everyone was incredibly relieved when they all reappeared back in the Middleton Research Lab, and apparently no worse for wear from their adventure into the parallel universe.

Were back! Were actually back! Kim beamed with joy as she hugged Ron like there was no tomorrow. And then she realized that there almost had been no tomorrow.

We made it! yelled Ron. Ah-BOOYAH!

Ron and Kim looked into each others eyes, then shared their first non-Analyzer-influenced kiss in what seemed like an eternity.

Ron thought to himself, Oh, yeah, this is good . . . REAL good . . . nothin like the real thing . . .

Rufus just chattered away happily and did a few back flips for good measure.

Even Bonnie was conciliatory. Well, Stoppable. I guess youre not such a loser after all.

Kim then turned to her junior miracle worker. Thanks, Wade, you did it! You pulled us all through!

Wade smiled as he nonchalantly scuffed at his shoes. Well, not without your dads help, Kim!

Dr. P just smiled back at him as he shook his head. Now, now, Wade. Youre the hero of the hour right now. So enjoy it while you can. Well both be pretty busy as soon as the scientific community gets wind of all this. Oh, and kids . . . He turned to the Tweebs with a frown. Youre both grounded for life. What were you thinking, activating this device and putting yourselves in danger like that?

The Tweebs faces were suddenly aghast. Jim whined, Aw, Dad! But we helped you build the James Blond spy car!

Tim added, And we helped you catch the bad guys!

Dr. P thought for a moment, then chuckled, True, and Im sure I would have done exactly the same thing myself as a kid, given the same situation.

A hopeful look appeared on the Tweebs faces.

So Ill leave it up to your mother.

They faces immediately sank. Jim mumbled, Oh, were toast . . .

Dr. Drakken then interrupted. Well, I really hate to break up this happy little return party, but we really must be going now . . .

Kim frowned. Not so fast, Drakken! I think you and Shego have a little date with Cell Block D!

Whoa, Cupcake. Shego held up a glove. If it werent for my help, none of us would have made it back in one piece. How about a five-minute head start?

Kim grinned an evil grin. How about two?

Shego shrugged. Fair enough. Until next time, Kimmie! And without a moments hesitation, Shego blasted a hole through the wall as she and Drakken quickly made their escape.

Dont worry, Kim, Wade said. Ive already alerted Global Justice. Theyll be waiting for Drakken and Shego at their lair. They wont be going anywhere except back to jail. Unless Judgin Judith decides to take their case! Wade snorted.

Kim laughed. You totally rock, Wade! She sighed contentedly for the first time in what seemed like days. Yup, when it comes to Drakkens plans, failure really is the only option.

Bonnie suddenly had a terrible realization. Kim! The regional cheer competition! Weve missed it!

Whoa, Bonnie! Wade reassured her. The regionals are still tomorrow. Youve only been gone about ten hours.

Ten hours? she yelled. It seemed like we were trapped in there for weeks!

Wade grinned. You were just formatted to fit the screen and edited to run in the time allotted for broadcast, Bon-Bon. His grin widened. Or should I say, Candy?

Bonnie began to blush a bright red. One more word, Wade, and youll be so dead . . .

Wade laughed, as he continued to flip through the TV Guide. Whoa, Kim! Looks like I got you guys out just in time. The next two episodes you would have gotten stuck in would have been an episode of Heidi Idaho, followed by High School Musical 4: Held Back!

The color suddenly drained from everyones faces. Kim just said, Brrrrr . . . now that would have really been embarrassing . . .

Ron patted his stomach. Well, KP, its great to be back home, but this adventure has given the Ronster a huge hankerin for some Bueno Nacho. Wanna come with? Rufus looked at her hopefully and rubbed his paws together as his tiny tummy began to gurgle in anticipation.

Sure, why not? Some real food sounds great after being stuck in TV Land! She turned to her father. Uh, that is, if its ok with you, Dad?

Dr. P nodded. Sure, Kimmie-Cub. Just have her back by ten, Ronald. Or else it will be . . .

Ron sighed. Yes, sir, I know. A deep-space trip to a black hole . . .

Dr. P grimaced at the thought. I think weve all had enough black holes for one day, Ronald.

Ron perked up. Ooh, Kim! If curfews at ten, thatll give us just enough time to catch a movie!

The look that Kim gave him right then could have melted lead.

Uh, or not . . .

Kim smiled as she and Ron left hand-in-hand for the nearest Bueno Nacho.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Well, everyone’s home safe and sound, but what happens when certain events are revealed? Epilogue next!