Kim Possible Porn Story: Failure Is The Only Option Chapter 10

Disclaimer: The Disney Corp. is owned by Kim Possible, not me. Or was that the other way around?

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It was a time of confusion, and many eyes imprisoned in this sitch turned hopefully toward freedom in the Real World. But not everybody could get there directly, and a convoluted trail sprang up, ending this time in Casanaco. Here, the fortunate ones, through technology, Wades influence or luck, might obtain an exit device and scurry back to Reality. But the others wait in Casanaco . . . and wait . . . and wait . . . and wait.

Over the loudspeaker in Rons Caf Mexicain, a voice announced, To all employees: a delivery boy carrying important technology has been robbed. The thief may be headed for Casanaco. Round up the usual suspects. Major Drakken, this means you.

Dressed smartly in a field-gray uniform of military cut, Major Drakken sulked at one of the tables. Arrgh! That technology was mine in the first place, until that naked mole thing absconded with it. But I better lay low, or else that meddlesome Captain Peugeot might take me in for questioning. He finished his meal and left through the side door.

At that moment, Captain Peugeot entered the front of the caf, accompanied by the restaurants owner and manager, Ron Stoppable. It was a relief to be out of the blazing North African sun, but it was only slightly cooler inside, where large ceiling fans spun lazily around in a futile attempt to cool the hot caf.

Ron, what in heavens name has brought you here to Casanaco?

Ron answered, My health. I came here for the water.

Captain Peugeot looked surprised. Water? What water? You only serve soda here!

I was misinformed, Ron replied sardonically.

Ned, the waiter on duty, approached them. Theres someone waiting for you in your office, Ron.

Ron excused himself. Pardon me, Captain: duty calls.

Ron walked into his office, and was immediately overjoyed to see who his visitor was.

Rufus! Buddy! he exclaimed.

The naked mole rat was every bit as excited to finally see his owner and closest friend again. He began chattering away, not in his usual unintelligible mole rat language, but in heavily accented English.

Ron! Ron! Youve got to HELP me! I need you to hide this very important device!

That wouldnt happen to be the device stolen from that delivery boy, would it, you little scamp? Ron queried.

With a devilish look in his eye, Rufus answered, Im sure I wouldnt know, eh-heh, eh-heh-heh, EH-HEH-HEH-HEH!

Ron looked over the device. Hey, this is Drakkens Compiler of Transit! We can get out of this sitch as soon as . . . uh oh. No batteries? Ron asked.

No batteries, Rufus sadly replied.

Ron sighed. Well, Ill keep it here for safe-keeping. Maybe Wade can figure out what to do with it.

Meanwhile, two more people had entered the restaurant. One was a handsome young man of muscular build, the other a strikingly beautiful redhead.

Ned gasped as he recognized them. Kim! Eric! What are you two doing here? I thought you two had broken up nearly a year ago! And Eric, I read five times that you were killed, in five different places!

Eric Syntho offered a wan smile, as he replied, As you can see, it was true every single time. Kim however had a look of barely concealed sadness. She said, Good to see you, Ned. Could you give us a booth please?

As they sat down, she wistfully asked, Play it, Ned. For old times sake.

Uh, I dont know what you mean, Kim, he lied.

Play it again, Ned. Play As Time Flies By.

Ned sighed, and reluctantly put a coin into the jukebox. The strains of the song began.

You must remember this
A Miss is still a Miss
On Kim you can rely . . .
The fundamental sitch applies
As time flies by

And when high schoolers woo,
They still say I love you,
And then some nachos buy . . .
No matter whats the future sitch
As time flies by . . .

Ron rushed into the room, anger etched on his face. Ned, I thought I told you never to play . . . Ron stopped short as he saw Kim, and Eric.

Hello, Ron, Kim said hesitantly.

Hello, Kim, hello Eric, Ron tersely replied.

Eric quickly excused himself, saying, I have some things to attend to, Kim, so Ill catch up with you later. He kissed her on the forehead and left.

Looking more beautiful than Ron had ever seen her before, Kim began softly. I didnt know youd be here, Ron. The last time we met . . .

Was at the Research Center, he finished.

How nice, you remembered. But of course, that was the day Drakken marched into my dads lab.

Not an easy day to forget. I remember every detail: Drakken wore blue, you wore purple. So tell me, Kim, why did you come to Casanaco?

I wouldnt have come if Id known you were here. Believe me, Ron, its true I didnt know . . .

Its funny about your voice, how it hasnt changed. I can still hear it. Ron, darling, Ill go with you anywhere, well get on your scooter together and never stop . . . The sarcasm in Rons voice matched his sardonic expression.

Please dont, Ron! I understand how you feel, she pleaded.

You understand how I feel, he scoffed. How long did we have, Kimmie?

Kim was on the verge of tears. I . . . I didnt count the days . . .

Angrily, he continued. Well, I did. Every one of them. Mostly I remember the last one: the wild finish. A guy standing in his Fearless Ferret boxers on The Planet Of The Chimps with a comical look on his face because his insides have been burned out by 1000-year-old hot sauce.

Can I tell you a story, Ron? Kim meekly asked.

Does it have a wild finish?

I dont know the finish yet. But its about a girl who had just gone to her Junior Prom, with a boy who, for the first time in her life, had opened up for her a beautiful world full of love and ideals. And she had a feeling she supposed was love, but then, she lost him . . . and then, by a miracle, he reappeared back in her life, and with a plan to escape Drakkens trap . . .

Yeah, its real pretty, he said sarcastically. I heard a story once. It went along with the sound of a tinny piano playing Hearts and Flowers: Mister, I had a naked mole rat once when I was kid . . . He laughed bitterly. Well, I guess neither of our stories are very funny. Tell me, who was it you left me for? Was it Eric, or were there others in between sitches . . . or, arent you the kind who tells?

Now in tears, Kim quietly left. Knowing hed once again said all the wrong things, Ron put his face in his hands.

Ned walked up to him and asked, You okay, Ron?

You know what I want to hear. Play it, Ned, he mumbled.

You sure, Ron?

You played it for her, you can play it for me! he yelled.

Ned sighed as he put another coin in the jukebox. The song began again.

You must remember this
A Miss is still a Miss
On Kim you can rely . . .
The fundamental sitch applies
As time flies by . . .

Of all the taco joints, in all the movies in all the world, and she walks into mine . . .

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Later that night, many more customers had arrived at Rons Caf Mexicain. It was Friday, and that meant one thing: karaoke.

Major Drakken was of course a regular Friday night patron. He walked over to Ron for some not-quite-so-friendly banter.

Tell, me, uh . . . Drakken scratched his head as he tried to remember Rons name.

The names Ron, he said acidly.

Tell me, Ron, are you one of those people who cant imagine me invading their beloved Middleton? smiled Drakken.

Its not particularly my beloved Middleton, Ron replied nonchalantly.

Can you imagine me in Upperton? Drakken queried.

Ron laconically responded, When you get there, ask me.

Drakken continued to press. How about Lowerton?

Ron smiled. Well, there are certain sections of Lowerton, Major, that I wouldnt advise you to try and invade.

Major Drakken frowned and headed for a table.

Captain Peugeot spoke to the waiter. Ned, see that Major Drakken gets a good table, one close to the ladies.

Ned replied, Ive already given him the best table: knowing hes a villain, he would have taken it anyway.

Once settled, Major Drakken and his cronies began belting out the Drakken Rap, much to the chagrin of the other clientle.

Yo, yo, yo…
I Used To Be Drew
One Day I Turned Blue
As a suede shoe or berry
it makes me look scary
Then I ponytail my hair… Eee…

Got me a nasty scar
and a funky-fresh flying car
so Drew be Dr. Drakken
so quit that yappin’
Think I’m out? HA! I’m Backin’!

Major Drakkens garrulous display was attracting looks of indignation from the audience. Ron had noticed, and knew exactly what to do. Giving Ned the high-sign, another song began to play over Drakkens singing.

Yo’, listen up, have a howler from Ron.
‘Naked Mole Rap’ is the name of the song.
Here’s a story in all it’s glory.
Ain’t hidin’ nothin’, don’t know what the truth is how Ron met Rufus.
Never heard a cat bark,
Never heard a puppy purr,
My dad’s allergic to every kind of fur.
So I surfed for hairless pets on the internet,
Saw a jpeg of a pink thing…
Gonna need sunscreen!

Not to be outdone, Major Drakken cranked up the volume.

My lippy Sidekick Shego
She kicks me in my ego
got the freaky glowing hands
Mocks my super-genius plans
makes me do my defeat dance…

Had dreams to rule the world
or build a better robot girl
all end in rejection
so after some inspection
I’ve turned my career in another direction!

But Ron wasnt done yet, and other customers began to join him in song.

What is that? That freaky thing?
(Yes, that’s right, it’s the naked mole rat.)
Come on y’all, let the girlies sing!
(Listen to the naked mole rap!)
Uh huh! What is that? That freaky thing?
(Yes, that’s right, it’s the naked mole rat.)
Hey, wait, I can’t hear the girls sing!
(Listen to the naked mole rap!)

Major Drakkens crowd was getting ugly. And they werent that good looking to begin with. He pumped up the volume even more.

Thanks to an “all-that” teen
Mr. Mean is squeaky clean
But my face is still blue
tell you what I can do
sell y’all some freaky shampoo…

Lather, Rinse & Obey
It’s time to wash your hair today!
You may think I’m a villain
no, I’m just chillin’
let me hear you say…

But there were more customers joining in, singing with all the intensity they could muster and drowning out Drakken with almost patriotic fervor.

We’ve heard of Bueno Nacho, chimerito and a naco.
Always grande size it. Why not? I’m buyin’!
Rufus in my pocket, you can’t stop it, can’t top it,
Don’t drop it, you might just pop it!
Rufus and Ron Stoppable with our best friend: Kim Possible.
We’re not afraid of any attack.
I say “Yo, KP, we’ve got your back!”

Drakkens volume was now maxed out, and he was clearly losing the musical battle.

Lather, Rinse & Obey
I’m a player just playin his play . . .

Can I get a boo-yah?
(Boo-yah!)

My product’s in a rap song
Time to get your wash on . . .

Oh, can I get a boo-yah?
(Boo-yah!)

With Dr. D’s Brain Washing Shampoo,

Come on y’all it’s the naked mole rap!

And Cranium Rinse…

Listen to the naked mole rap!

By now the entire room was on its feet, lines drawn and sides taken. A full fledged riot was about to break out, when suddenly Captain Renault jumped onto a table and fiercely blew his police whistle. Everyone froze.

The Captain yelled, This restaurant is now closed until further notice!

Obviously irritated at this turn of events, Ron growled, On what grounds?

Vermin! the Captain replied. Im shocked to find that theres vermin in this restaurant! This is a violation of the health code!

Rufus, who was filling in as a waiter, scurried up to the Captain. Your order, sir!

Why, thank you, he quietly answered, taking a big bite of his nachos.

The restaurant slowly began to vacate, the immediate crisis having been defused. After asking Ned and Rufus to clean up, Ron went back to his office. Kim was waiting for him, a look of desperation in her eyes.

Ron, youve got to let us have the Compiler of Transit. I know you have it, but its useless without the battery pack. And you now know that Eric and I are fugitives in this this sitch. Eric has managed to find a battery pack in Lisbon that should work, but we need the device to take with us. Please, Ron?

No deal, sweetheart. Rufus and I will be needing that device when we leave Casanaco tomorrow, Ron curtly replied.

Kim pleaded, Oh Ron, please? Please try to put aside your feelings for a moment and look at the bigger picture? She gave him the biggest Puppy-Dog Pout she could muster.

But Ron remained resolute. That would have worked once, KP, but not any more. Still no deal.

Kim suddenly pulled a gun out and aimed it at Ron. Im . . . Im sorry Ron, but Im desperate. Give me the Compiler!

Ron didnt bat an eye has he replied, Go ahead and shoot, Kimmie. Youll be doing us both a favor. Just don’t shoot me in the heart: it’s my least vulnerable spot.

Tears began to form in Kims eyes as she began to waver. Breaking into sobs, she dropped the gun on the floor.

Choked with emotion, she lamented, Ron, I cant fight it anymore. I ran away from you once, I cant do it again. . . Oh, I dont know whats right any longer. You have to think for both of us. For all of us . . .

Ron pulled Kim into a warm embrace.

All right, I will. Heres lookin at you, Kim. All animosity having evaporated, he kissed her deeply and tenderly.

Through her tears, Kim smiled. I wish I didnt love you so much.

Just remember Kim, well always have Middleton.

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It was near the sunset of next day, and Kim had arrived at Rons Caf Mexicain, per his instructions. She looked quickly around to make sure she hadnt been followed. She entered Rons office, where he was waiting.

They looked at each other silently for a moment. Then Ron spoke. Kim, Ive done a lot of thinking since last night. Ive got the Compiler of Transit right here, and . . .

Captain Peugeot, who had hidden himself behind a curtain, suddenly appeared and said, Ill take that. He was very pleased with himself that he had taken them both by surprise. He motioned for them to sit down. There will be no flight to Lisbon for either of you tonight. And Kim, both you and Eric are under arrest for the attack on that delivery boy. And the Compiler of Transit will be returned to its rightful owner, Major Drakken.

Ron suddenly pulled a gun on the Captain.

Have you lost your mind? the Captain exclaimed.

Ron said, I have. Now sit down!

Put that gun down! yelled the Captain.

I dont want to shoot you, but I will if you take one more step! Ron growled.

Captain Peugeot smiled. Under the circumstances, I will sit down.

Ron ordered, Now fill out the delivery receipt for the Compiler of Transit. Thatll make everything official.

You think of everything, dont you? the Captain dryly said.

And fill in the names of Eric Syntho and Kim Possible, Ron commanded.

A look of surprise appeared on both the faces of Kim and the Captain.

Kim stammered, But Ron, I thought that last night you had decided that wed . . .

Ron quickly said, Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I’ve done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you’re getting on that plane with Eric where you belong.

Kim began to tear up. But, Ron, no, I…

Ron continued urgently. Now, you’ve got to listen to me! Do you have any idea what we’d have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances in ten, we’d both wind up in prison. Isn’t that right, Captain?

I’m afraid Major Drakken would insist, he sardonically replied.

You’re only saying this to make me go, Kim sobbed.

I’m saying it only because it’s true, continued Ron. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Eric. If that plane leaves and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even the day after tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.

Kim breathlessly replied, But what about us? I said Id never leave you again.

We’ll always have Middleton. We lost it until you came to Casanaco. We got it back last night. Kim, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a can of refried beans in this crazy sitch. Someday you’ll understand that, Ron explained.

Tears began to flow down Kims cheek. Ron wiped them away and smiled as he said, There there, now . . . Here’s looking at you, Kim.

The violins soared as the theme for As Time Flies By was heard once more. Eric then entered the room.

Here it is, Ron said as he handed him the Compiler of Transit.

Are you ready, Kim? Eric asked.

She replied, Yes, I’m ready. Goodbye Ron . . . and God bless you.

Ron sighed. Youd better hurry. You’ll miss that plane.

They walked out the door to the airfield next door just as Major Drakken arrived.

Stop them! he yelled, reaching for the phone. Hello, get me the control tower!

Ron growled, Get away from that phone! He picked up a chair and smashed it over Major Drakkens head, knocking him unconscious.

Several of Captain Peugeots gendarmes drove up and entered the room. The Captain declared, Major Drakken has been assaulted! He looked at Ron, and then turned back to the gendarmes. Round up the usual suspects!

Ron smiled as he walked out the door, happy that Drakken was at least temporarily disabled. But a look of wistful longing came over his face as he sadly watched Eric and Kim walk towards the waiting plane. Suddenly, Rufus jumped out of his pocket and made a dash towards the couple. Sinking his teeth into Erics foot, syntho-goo began to pour out of the hole.

As Eric melted into a puddle, he sighed, Oh no, here we go again . . .

Overjoyed, Ron rushed toward Kim. Kim! he yelled.

Ron! she shouted, as they ran into each others arms. Ron swung her around, as they laughed in relief. They looked into each others eyes for only a moment, before kissing more deeply and passionately than they ever had before.

Awww! Rufus happily remarked, pleased that hed succeeded in getting the couple back together.

As they all boarded the plane, Ron spoke. Kim, this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

With a warm smile of relief, Kim sighed contentedly.

Then Ron had a thought. Kim, you weren’t really going to leave me back there in that sitch, were you? Kim? KIM?

Kim just giggled as the scene faded to black.

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Okay, I admit, Im an incurable romantic. So, a tip of the hat to one of the greatest movies of all time. And thanks to LTAOZFAN for the idea. I hope this was worth the wait! Now lets see what other trouble I can get our heroes into . . . er, out of . . .