Kim Possible Porn Story: Failure Is The Only Option – Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Kim Possible is owned by Disney, not me. Note serious face . . .

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Ron opened his eyes and quickly realized that he was in a new program. Just as quickly, he realized that he had once again lost his pants, his Fearless Ferret boxers flapping gently in the breeze.

Oh, man . . . this tanks! Ron looked around and noticed that grassland and sparse vegetation extended as far as the hills that that he could see in the distance. He appeared to be on a trail of some kind.

Hmm. A western maybe? Ron thought out loud to himself. As if on cue, thundering hoofbeats could be heard approaching. Uh-oh. Good guys or bad guys? The horses came over the rise, and the riders could now be seen. Fear gripped his heart as recognition set in. He yelled, Gorillas? On horseback?! Bad monkeys!VERY BAD MONKEYS!!

Ron began running for cover, but they had already spotted him. As they got closer, he could see that they were both clothed and armed. Outflanking him on both sides, they quickly surrounded him. One of the apes fired a net gun, bringing Ron crashing to the ground. Another ape fired a knockout dart. As Ron lapsed into unconsciousness, he thought, Monkeys . . . I hate these guys . . .

When he awoke, Ron found himself inside a cage with a dirt floor, loose straw carelessly thrown about. He was bound and gagged, and had suffered a few scrapes and bruises, but was otherwise unharmed. Three simians were observing him. The largest looked like an orangutan, and spoke to the other two, which appeared to be large chimpanzees.

It looks like the human is awake, Coriolanus.

Coriolanus replied, Yes, Dr. Zayus, but note that this human looks much more advanced than the mutants weve captured before.

The third, a female, then spoke. Yes! Also note his peculiar clothing: small weasels adorn his shorts. Perhaps to honor one of his deities?

Dr. Zayus waved his hand dismissively. Dr. Zita, when will you ever learn not to anthropomorphize these creatures? If youve seen one human, youve seen them all. He approached Ron, whose stomach began to growl. Ron had managed to wriggle one finger free, and to express his hunger he wrote the word NACO in the dirt.

Dr. Zayus looked surprised at Rons attempt to communicate. He quickly wiped the word away and spoke to the others as he hurriedly left the room. The human looks hungry. Feed him. Well begin the experimentation this afternoon.

Ron gulped as he imagined what experiments might be performed on him.

Dr. Zita spoke. Ill take care of him, Coriolanus. Bringing some food, she entered the cage and removed the gag from Rons mouth.

Ron said, Thanks. That was really starting to hurt.

She jumped back. You can speak?

He replied, Of course I can. My names Ron. Uh, what kind of place is this anyway?

This is our laboratory. Im a scientist doing research on humans, and Coriolanus is an archaeologist. Here, eat this. She handed him a banana. The irony didnt escape him.

Zita continued to look at him with growing interest. Oh, youre hurt! Let me get some ointment for your cuts and scrapes. She began gently applying salve to his injuries. Youre a magnificent specimen! So big and strong . . . She began gently massaging his shoulders and arms. Ron was becoming a little uncomfortable. Such powerful legs, too . . . She began to tenderly rub his stomach. And your scent is so . . . so exhilarating! Ron was starting to sweat. Tell me, Ron, do humans have unique mating rituals?

Ron suddenly realized what was happening. Stop pawing me! Your hands are dirty! he yelled, scooting away as quickly as possible. Ive already got a girlfriend!

Dr. Zita! Stop that! Coriolanus commanded. If youre quite finished, we have work to do at the archaeological site.

Zita pouted, But Coriolanus, we cant leave him here alone! You know Dr. Zayus will want to dissect him. A moment of panic hit Ron. And . . . hes so cute! Cringing at Zitas attentions, Ron wasnt sure which fate would be worse.

Coriolanus rolled his eyes. All right, well bring him along. Besides, theres something I discovered there that your pet human may be able to help us identify.

After freeing Ron from his bonds, they all proceeded to the archaeological dig located in the Forbidden Place, a desolate location off-limits to all but a few apes.

Here, Ron. Take a look at this artifact I discovered yesterday. Do you recognize it at all? Coriolanus offered him what looked like a tiny toy robot.

Wow! Its a Little Diablo! I wonder if it still works? Ron flipped a switch, and it sprang to life. He put it down on the ground, and it began to walk and talk, saying Konichiwa! Konichiwa!

Coriolanus was astounded. This is incredible! It proves that humans were once intelligent beings, possessing both manufacturing capability and the ability to speak!

Wait a minute, Ron said. If this is a Little Diablo, then this must be . . . He looked up, and saw something that looked familiar in the distance. He started walking toward it.

What will he find out there, Doctor? asked Coriolanus.

His lunch, replied Zita.

Wandering a bit farther, he saw an ancient, half-buried building. It was shaped like a huge Mexican sombrero, and its roof was fractured with age. A sign adorned its exterior. It was still legible, though barely, and it read, Bueno Nacho #1.

Ron was stunned. Oh my gosh. Im back. Im home. All the time, it was . . . We finally really did it. You maniacs! You blew it up! Darn you! Gol darn you all to heck!

Ron pounded the brittle ground, which fractured under his blows. A small hole appeared, and inside the hole was a small cache of Diablo Hot Sauce packets, labeled Extra Hot. Ron opened one and sampled it.

Wow. This stuff really does keep for a long time!

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Now, you all knew I’d have to throw Ron and monkeys together into this story sooner or later. What better than a planet full of them! Either that, or lawn ornaments . . . And in case you were wondering, yes, I know the Little Diablos never said konichiwa, but I needed to have them speak so that the parody of the original movie would fit a little better.

Next up, Shego sues Drakken on court TV, and the justice system will never be the same . . .