Kim Possible Porn Story: Failure Is The Only Option Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Disney may own Kim Possible, but the Great Blue will defeat you all!

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The airliner banked low over the deep blue Mediterranean Sea on its final approach to the airport at Nice. Ron was smiling as he looked out the window, while Rufus cheerfully munched on a small bag of peanuts.

Yknow KP, its been a long time since we havent needed to eject from a plane to get to a mission. And I didnt need to break the seat to get us into first class!

Kim stretched out and sighed, Yup, it feels great for once to just sit back and relax, and . . .

Uh, Kim, I think we have a problem.

Ron had spotted a familiar-looking aircar in the distance. It suddenly fired an air-to-air missile, which rapidly streaked directly toward their plane.

This would be so cool if that wasnt going to kill us!

The gentle ping of the Please Fasten Your Seatbelts sign was drowned out by the sudden screaming of the passengers. Warning klaxons began to sound, and the plane lurched to one side as the pilot tried to avoid the missile. But passenger planes werent designed for evasive maneuvers, and the missiles speed made an impact inevitable. It hit the port engine and immediately exploded, jagged shards of metal peppering the wing. Flaming jet fuel began streaming behind the now crippled airliner.

KP! Quick! Follow me! Ron yelled, grabbing Kims arm. He quickly wrenched open a hatch in the floor and jumped through, pulling Kim along with him and into the cargo bay.

But Ron, what . . .

No time, Kim! Get in the car, quick! Ron punched a button on his key remote, and the doors on his spy car popped open. He slammed his palm on the cargo bays emergency door release button as he and Kim jumped into the car. Ron simultaneously hit the button for the release straps and the rocket actuators as the slipstream pulled the car out of the bay.

Kim had a rare look of panic on her face as the car began to free-fall rapidly towards the Mediterranean. Rufus barely had time to say Whoa! before the rockets kicked in, and Ron gained control of the now airborne spy car. Quickly accelerating, he gained altitude and passed the burning airliner. With a few deft maneuvers, he positioned the car in front of the burning plane.

Kim, open the glove compartment and push the green button!

Kim quickly complied, and a new row of buttons appeared.

Now when I say, hit the black button on the end. This is gonna be close!

Ron maneuvered the car even closer to the plane, and was now only a few feet away from the burning wing.

Now Kim! Punch it!

Kim hit the button, and a white cloud of supercooled carbon dioxide spewed out from behind the car. After a few seconds the flames behind the wing began to recede, then went out completely.

Kim gasped, You did it, Ron! The fires out! You saved the plane!

Rufus simply twirled around and passed out with a sigh from all the excitement, as Ron landed the spy car on an access road beside the airport. They climbed out of the car and watched as the airliner made a safe, if bumpy landing. Emergency vehicles were quickly en route, but the disaster had been averted.

After Kim had caught her breath, she exclaimed, Ron, that was amazing! How did you know this car could do all that?

Ron just smirked, Oh, I just took the time to read the owners manual on our flight over. My momma didnt raise no fool, ah-booyah!

Kim looked longingly at Ron for a moment, then just fell into his arms and began kissing him very deeply. After a few moments, and with lipstick now smeared all over his face, he simply thought, Oh yeah, this is real nice, yes . . .

But before things could heat up too much more, a small ahem from Rufus brought them both back into the present. Ron cleared his throat, smiled and motioned to the car. Cmon Kim, weve got a ballet to disrupt! But first we better check into the hotel.

As they began to drive off, a pensive look appeared on Kims face. Ron, something doesnt seem quite right here. Drakken and Shego have tried to do us in before on several occasions, but theyve never directly targeted innocent civilians. It sounds like it could be an effect of the Magnetronic Personality Analyzer, but I thought you said that Wade shut it off.

Yeah, youre right, KP. That was over the top even for Drakken. Hes always wanted to take over the world, but hes not a cold-blooded murderer. But that was right in character for a James Blond super villain . . . Ron frowned. Too bad we cant reach Wade to see whats going on.

Rufus suddenly began to chatter excitedly as he grabbed the damaged Kimmunicator and scampered into the back seat. Opening an access panel, he retrieved a miniature tool kit. He soon had the Kimmunicator up on tiny chocks, and the flicker of a minuscule acetylene torch could be seen reflecting off of his tiny welders goggles. A high-pitched drill was then heard, followed by a small whiff of smoke as connections were soldered. In another moment, Rufus exclaimed Tah-dah! as he triumphantly held up the now-repaired Kimmunicator in his tiny paws.

Way to go, Rufus! yelled Ron. Kim added, Good little naked mole rat! and activated their lifeline to Wade. The Kimmunicator immediately sounded its familiar ring tone.

Kim beamed as Wade appeared. What up, Wade?

Wade was overjoyed to see them. Kim! Ron! Im so glad you guys are okay! I was really worried there. Whats your sitch?

Kim replied, Were in a James Blond movie, with Ron as you-know-who, but it looks like everyone is in the sitch this time. How soon can you pull us all back?

Wade frowned. Uh, bad news Kim. The self-destruct is tied into the Magnetronic Personality Analyzer, and I had to turn it back on in order not to fry the circuitry or cause an explosion. Im still working on getting you all safely back, but itll still be awhile.

Kim nodded. Thanks Wade, that explains a lot. Ron was still wiping off some of Kims lipstick from his face. Now weve got to prevent Dr. Yes and Shego Goodthighs . . .

Wade suddenly spit out the soda hed been drinking. What was that you said? Shego Goodthighs?

Kim sighed. Yeah, thats Shegos character in this sitch, and Drakken is Dr. Yes. My dad is P, MI6s genius inventor, and Bonnie is a ballet dancer named Bunnitailya Rockwalskaya.

Wade burst out laughing. Bunnitailya? Oh, thats rich. I guess shes the bad Blond Girl? Uh, which makes you . . . the good Blond Girl? A sly smile began to appear on Wades face. And whats your characters name, Kim?

Ron was about to answer, but one quick look from Kim told him that would be a very bad idea.

Never mind, Wade, she said through gritted teeth.

Wade was by now more than just a little curious, but let it slide. Oh, well, I guess you can tell me later. Oh, and uh, theres one more problem, Kim.

Kim just put her head in her hand and sighed, What now, Wade?

While I was getting a soda refill, Jim and Tim snuck in here and activated the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer before I could stop them. Your mom told me that they saw all you guys on TV and must have wanted to get in on the action. Theyre probably somewhere in your sitch by now.

Kim exploded. WHAT!? I thought I saw them here! Those stupid Tweebs! Ill wring both of their scrawny little necks when I catch them!

Chill out, KP! Ron interjected. If you saw them, theyre probably with your dad, so theyre safe for the moment. And come to think of it, I guess its no coincidence that my spy car bears a bon-diggity resemblance to your Sloth 2.0 . . .

Kim calmed down a bit. Youre right, Ron, thanks. She turned back to the Kimmunicator. Okay, Wade, thats two more you need to bring back now. But Drakken has a time machine and is about to get a black-market nuclear device to threaten the world with, so none of us have much time. Well be back in touch once we retrieve that nuke.

Wow. I guess no nukes is good nukes, huh? Wade snorted. Okay, guys. Good luck!

Kim closed the connection just as they pulled up to the Hotel Negresco, Nices classiest upscale hotel. After checking in, they found that N had booked them into the Honeymoon Suite.

As he tipped the bellhop, Ron pulled awkwardly at his collar as they entered the suite. Uh, KP, you know that I really do like you a whole lot, but this a bit . . .

Awkweird? Kim finished, and began to blush. Yeah, but it is kinda nice, dont you think? She briefly recalled the wedding dress she had worn in their recent soap opera sitch, and then her mind wandered to a possible event sometime in the future . . .

Yeah, Kim, it is. Uh, but seriously, even though this is just a movie sitch were in, were both still who we really are, and, uh . . .

Kim put a finger to his lips, then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Thanks, Ron. Ive always known that deep down youre a gentleman. At least when youre essential Ronness doesnt get in the way, she giggled.

Ron blushed and smiled back at Kim. Thanks, KP. Well, what say we go catch the bad guys and save the world, one more time?

Kim quickly agreed. Sounds great, Ron! Or should I say, James?

Yeah, but its too bad this city doesnt have a Bueno Nacho. Im kinda hungry for some snackage!

Kim sighed. After we save the world, Nacho Boy . . .

Ron and Kim quickly made their way to the Opera de Nice, where the ballet was being performed. Unable to find a parking place and not wanting to trust his spy car to a valet, he parked in a red zone.

Kim frowned. Ron, you cant park here, youll get towed!

Ron just smiled and pulled out an unusual-looking parking tag, which he hung on the rear view mirror. Doing another Sean Connery imitation, he replied, James Blond, License To Park.

As they walked towards the opera house, they failed to spot a suspicious-looking aircar parked just behind it.

After finding their seats and looking at the program, Ron asked, Whats with this ballet, Kim? Swine Lake? Who wants to see dancing pigs?

Kim rolled her eyes. Thats Swan Lake, Ron. Youre thinking of The Muppet Show.

Oh yeah! The Muppet Show! Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. Good times, good times . . .

Focus, James. Weve got to either spot Drakken and Shego before they can meet up with Bonnie, or else find that miniature nuke first. Its probably in some kind of suitcase in her dressing room.

The lights dimmed as the ballet began. The curtain rose, and Bunnitailya Rockwalskaya danced onto the stage, performing the role of Odette. Cursed by an evil magician, Odette is swan by day and returns to her human form only at night. Dressed in a beautiful white tutu, Bonnie began dancing a pas de deux with the romantic lead, Prince Siegfried.

Kim was impressed with how well she was doing. Wow, shes good! she whispered. Suddenly realizing that she had just complimented her rival in front of Ron, she warned him, But dont you dare tell her I said that!

Ron playfully jested, Ooh, jellin a little, Kim? She should be good: shes only been studying ballet since grade school. You missed her performance in that talent show when you were delayed by that fight with Drakken and Shego before you could show up. But honestly KP, I really preferred your singing over her dancing. He then smirked, And besides, I beat you both in that talent contest.

Kim whispered back, Yeah, but theres a lot more at stake now than just a talent show, Ron. Weve got to figure out a way to keep track of her.

Well, the only time that Drakken and Bonnie can meet is when shes not onstage, which would be during one of the intermissions. Ron studied the program, then read some of the program notes. His face suddenly brightened up.

Hey KP, Ive got an idea! Take this and go behind stage and see if you can locate Bonnies dressing room. He handed her a small device. If that nuke is here, this directional Geiger counter should give you a good idea when youre close. Rufus, you stay here and watch for Drakken and Shego. If you see either of them, cause a distraction of some kind, preferably big.

Rufus chattered in agreement. Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Big one!

Kim hesitated. Ron, Im almost afraid to ask. What are you going to be doing?

A sly grin appeared on Rons face as he explained. In the next act, the magician who cast the spell on Bonnies character will be dancing with her doing a . . . looks like a pass dee dukes.

Thats pas de deux, Ron.

Yeah, whatever. The magicians name is von Rothbart, and hes usually portrayed as an evil owl, so his face is always covered with a mask. All I have to do is grab his costume and Ill keep Bonnie busy on stage while you look for that nuke.

Kim was appalled. Ron! Are you crazy? Youre not a ballet dancer!

Hey, I went trick or treating as one . . . once. And besides, I can just fill in with some of my cheerleading moves until you can grab that nuke.

Kim groaned, Oh, man, Im glad this is just a movie were in . . .

As soon as the intermission began, Kim and Ron stealthily made their way backstage, sneaking past the security guards and hiding in the shadows behind the curtains. A small light on Kims Geiger counter began to pulse.

Kim whispered, Ron, Im getting a signal. That device is definitely here!

Ron answered, Okay, as soon as the next act begins, you know what to do. Time for Ron to do some owl hunting!

No sooner had he spoken than Bonnie walked by, making her way to the stage. Following a few steps behind her was von Rothbart. Ron tapped him on the shoulder as he passed, saying, Excuse me, but what time does the next swan leave?

Von Rothbart stuttered, What? Who are you? What are . . .

He was cut short by a puff of knockout gas from Rons spy ring. Ooh, cool! I hope I get to keep this!

Ron gently eased him to the floor, but quickly discovered that von Rothbarts costume was in one piece, including the mask. Try as he might, he couldnt figure out how to remove the costume, and time was running out. Ron then heard the chimes signaling the end of intermission.

Oh, man, what am I going to do now? Think, Ron-man, think! What would the real James Blond do? He suddenly snapped his fingers. Of course! Improvise!

He quickly pulled out his collapsible make-up kit, which had been super-compressed within his dinner jacket. After it sprung to full size, he quickly rummaged through it. Plan B, here we come . . .

In the meantime, Kim had located Bonnies dressing room. The Geiger counter was flashing brightly and more quickly, so she was sure the bomb was in her room. She quickly slipped inside, quietly shutting the door and flipping on the light. And suddenly came face to face with . . .

Shego Goodthighs, I presume?

Well, if it isnt little Miss Priss! Come to play spy, Kimmie?

Kim could hardly help but notice Shegos new outfit. Her black leather miniskirt revealed her shapely legs, no doubt giving rise to her moniker for the current sitch. Her green form-fitting scoop neck top was also more than just a little revealing.

Well Shego, this is a new low even for you. As in, if that blouse were cut any lower, wed have to change the rating of this story!

Look whos talking, Ms. Slinky Black Dress with a slit up to the waist!

All the better to fight you in, Shego!

Bring it on, Cupcake! And with a whoosh she fired up her green plasma and launched into an attack.

Kim quickly sidestepped the attack and used Shegos momentum against her as if Kim were a bullfighter, smashing Shego into the wall with a thud. Shego recovered quickly, firing two plasma bolts in quick succession, missing Kim by mere inches, but searing her black dress on both sides.

Hey! I might have to return this, you know!

Shego sneered, Yeah? Well, return this!

She fired off several more quick plasma bursts at Kim, but Kim quickly grabbed a large metal make-up mirror and easily deflected each of the bolts. In the heat of battle, neither of them noticed that one of the plasma bolts had ricocheted off the latch of a rather large suitcase beneath the make-up table.

Kim charged Shego, and with a yell, launched herself over her adversary to land one-handed on the table, delivering a quick scissors kick. Shego was knocked back into the already weakened wall, which gave way under the impact. Likewise, the make-up table collapsed under the pressure of Kims momentum, knocking the suitcase open. Kim quickly regained her balance and tossed aside the remains of the table, inadvertently hitting a now-exposed button that lit up the devices control panel. Only someone fluent in Russian could have read the Cyrillic lettering, but the numbers that began a 5-minute countdown were unmistakable. But no one noticed, as Kim had just left through the collapsed wall in pursuit of Shego.

Meanwhile, the next act of the ballet had begun. Bonnie appeared on the stage and had just begun a pirouette when she suddenly stopped short. Instead of the character of von Rothbart, she found herself face to face with . . .

The Mad Dog Mascot? Bonnie froze in place as she stared incredulously at Ron in his old cheer outfit. Stoppable, get off the stage! Youll ruin the whole ballet!

The audience gasped in shock as Ron began his classic Mad Dog routine, complete with foaming mouth flinging shaving cream all over the stage.

No way, Bunnitailya! Im here to stop you from turning that nuke over to Dr. Yes!

Half the audience was responding in indignation at the sudden turn of events. The other half was in stitches, assuming that it was some kind of new avant-garde choreography.

Bonnie quickly switched to her classic cheerleading moves as she tried to avoid Ron. Get lost, loser! You have no idea whats really going on! Youll ruin everything! Suddenly she slipped on some of the foam, ingloriously falling on her behind.

Most of the audience had by now broken out in fits of laughter, when a smartly dressed blue-skinned man suddenly stood up. Oh, this is not good. Id better find Shego before that meddlesome Kim Possible shows up, if its not already too late.

Rufus immediately spotted Drakken and began to create his diversion, running into the aisle and performing the Dying Swan routine, complete with his unmistakable chatter. Coughing and gasping as loudly as he could, he staggered back and forth in the aisle. A woman in the audience began to scream. Aaah! Its a hideous rat! Its probably rabid! Run for your lives! Panic ensued as the audience nearby began to run for the exits, and Drakken was swept along in the mass exodus.

At just that moment, Shego ran onstage, grunting as she fired off bolt after bolt of plasma into the wings as Kim entered running full throttle towards her. Kim somersaulted to avoid Shegos attack, and deftly landed behind her as she tried to grapple her to the floor. But the stage was now covered in Rons slippery Mad Dog foam, and Shego gave a big Whoop! as her legs shot out from under her, landing her on her bottom just like Bonnie had moments before. But unlike Bonnies muslin tutu, Shegos leather skirt was much more slippery, and her momentum continued to carry her across the stage. Sliding off the stage and into the orchestra pit, she landed ignominiously onto the bass drum, ripping it apart with a dull thud.

Drakken was still trying to make it to the stage, but was finding it as difficult to move through the rapidly exiting audience as a salmon swimming upstream against the current.

Shego! he yelled over the crowd. Time to leave! Forget the device, well have to retrieve it later!

Shego muttered a few choice expletives as she grumbled, Possible is so gonna pay for this!

Quickly extricating herself from the drum, she flipped over the railing, grabbed Drakken and raced into the hallway. Firing her grappling gun through the window, she pulled them both through and into their waiting aircar.

So, Possible and his sidekick would never find us, huh? Shegos voice dripped with more than just the usual sarcasm. Havent you ever seen a James Blond movie before?

Chagrined, Drakken merely replied, Well, I kind of lost interest in them after Sean Connery left . . .

And in just another moment, they were racing away and streaking towards the horizon.

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The hall by now was nearly empty as the last of the audience made it out of the exits. Kim turned to Bonnie and growled, All right, Bunnitailya! Wheres the nuke?

Assuming a thick Russian accent befitting her character, she replied, Eets een my dressink room, dahlink. But first I should tell you . . .

But before she could finish, Kim and Ron had grabbed her on either side, lifting her up and carrying her to her dressing room. Her legs flailed away beneath her as she dropped her accent and screamed in protest, Put me down, you guys! You dont understand!

They entered what remained of Bonnies dressing room, the open suitcase revealing the miniature nuclear device. Its timer indicated 30 seconds remaining before detonation.

At that moment, Rufus rushed in and spotted the bomb. Hitting his head with his tiny paw, he sighed, Oh no, not again . . .

As Ron furiously tried to find a way to open the device and disarm it, he yelled in frustration, Kim! Bad thing! Very bad thing!

Kim took a quick look at the device and read the Russian writing on the control panel. She quickly pressed the blue button, and the timer stopped its countdown with just 10 seconds to spare.

Ron breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Wow, Kim! Howd you know how to do that?

Simple, Ron. I just read the writing next to the button that translated, Push Here To Stop Timer. No big!

Bonnie then spoke up, again assuming a Russian accent.

James, vee vere never actually in danger, as this device eez only a decoy. A small amount of radium was placed inside eet to imitate the radioactivity of a nuclear veapon. Majestic Russian music began to play in the background as she continued.

I am actually Major Natalia Sexinova of zee Russian KGB. Vee intercepted zee criminals who had stolen zee nuclear device and vanted to set a trap for Doktor Yes. Unfortunately he and Ms. Goodthighs got avay, but vee know zee vereabouts of their secret lair, and vill apprehend zem.

Ron again assumed his Sean Connery voice. So, Bunnitailya. Youre an undercover double agent. And apparently youve been working under several covers . . .

Bonnie blushed at the double entendre. Ron . . .! Kim growled threateningly.

Sorry KP, just couldnt resist! Ron continued, So, Bonnie, youre not the bad Bond Girl after all!

The sensuous sound of a saxophone began to play in the background.

Bonnie languorously replied, Oh, Im bad, dahlink. Bonnie seductively moved closer to Ron. Very bad. She blew gently into his ear. Or very good. She effortlessly slid into his arms. It all depends on your point of view. Rons eyes went wide as she began to kiss him gently at first, then more passionately. Kims jaw dropped as she froze in surprise.

Hey! Hands off my boyfriend, Bunnytail! Or this really will be your swan song!

Bonnie let go of a very flustered Ron, and flipped her hair as she turned to Kim. She replied in her thick Russian accent, So sorry, dahlink. But eets een zee script.

Kim shot back, Just remember what usually happens to bad Bond Girls, Bonnie!

And vats dat, Ms. Bullederriere?

Kim made a quick slashing motion across her throat, along with the sound of a slitting knife.

Bonnie yelped Eeep! and instantly assumed her normal voice. Just kidding, Kim! Only playing the part! Nothing serious!

Kim then turned to Ron. And you, James. Do I have to watch you every second in this sitch?

He smiled and shrugged guiltily as he replied, Heh-heh! Must be that Magnetronic Personality Analyzer putting me in all these embarrassing situations, Kim!

Nice try, spy boy. She sighed and thought for a moment. But that does actually kinda make sense. Weve all been acting a little strange through most of these sitches. I guess weve been getting a little more into our assumed characters than we first thought.

Speak for yourself, K! was Bonnies snippy reply. Lets just go capture Dr. Yes and Shego so we can all go home!

Kim smiled. I couldnt agree with you more, Bonnie! Now if we only knew where he was headed.

It was Bonnies turn to smile as she switched back to her Russian accent. Da, he is no doubt flyink to his laboratory at the CERN particle physics research center in Geneva. Only there does he have enough power for his time travel device. And . . . She pulled out a small GPS device, and on its screen was a gently pulsing dot. I placed a homing device on his aircar before the performance began. Vee shall have no problem tracking zem. Shall we? Bonnie motioned toward the exit.

Ron excitedly pumped his arm. All right, Bonnie! Ron then turned to Kim and Rufus. Okay, people: last one to the car is a rotten borscht!

And with that, they all raced to the spy car to continue their pursuit of Drakken and Shego.

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Wow, I hadnt planned on such a long chapter, but so many ideas came to mind as I was writing, and I just couldnt stop at just one more chapter of this sitch! No doubt more surprises await both our heroes and our favorite enemies in my next installment. And for those who were wondering what the difference is between good and bad Bond Girls, it’s just which side of the law there on, not uh, well . . . Update soon!