Kim Possible Porn Story: Failure Is The Only Option – Chapter 13

Disclaimer:
Kim Possible is owned by Disney, not me. Sorry, Princess!

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A
cheerful theme song was heard as Kim and Ron slowly became aware of
their new surroundings. Kim immediately noticed Rons new attire.

Nice
tux, Ron! Are we going to a formal in this sitch?

Ron had a
strange look on his face. Uh, thanks KP, but I dont think its
a formal were going to. Take a look at your dress.

Kim
looked down at the beautiful full-length white gown she was now
wearing. Its train was nearly ten feet in length, and she wore
matching elbow-length white satin gloves. Her beautifully coiffed red
hair was perfectly framed by the bridal veil that now adorned her
head. She stepped back with a start.

A
wedding dress?!
she exclaimed.

Tah-dah-da-dah!
Rufus
cheerfully piped in, imitating the Wedding March.

Just
then, an older but still striking dark-haired woman swept into the
room. Kimeese! You look divine! I dont think Spruce Valley has
ever had a more pretty bride! Her tone was more catty than
cheerful, as she continued. And thank you so much for allowing my
daughter Sheanca to be your maid of honor!

Ron
whispered an aside. Kim, thats Erika Kane, so we must be on All
My Neurotic Children!

Duh,
Ron! Oh, this sitch is just spankin, Kim said sarcastically as
she rolled her eyes.

Erika
then turned to Ron as her mood changed to one of stormy indignation.
And especially after Zacharon here had a child out of
wedlock with Sheanca!

Ron and
Kims jaws dropped at the same time, the shock of this sudden
revelation leaving them both speechless.

Suddenly
cheerful again, Erika announced, Ah! And heres lovely Sheanca
now!

Wearing a
mint green bridesmaids dress, Shego entered the room.

Shego!
Kim growled, immediately assuming a defensive crouch.

Hows
it goin, Kimmie?
Shego cagily responded.

Erika
continued, Oh, and Kimeese: you might be interested to know that I
caught Zacharon and Sheanca in a very passionate kiss last
night. I guess she wanted to wish him well . . . one last time.
And with that, she swept out of the room.

Ron!
Kim yelled.

Here
we go again, Ron
thought to himself. KP, not my fault! I mean, it was in the
script, but I didnt enjoy it! I mean, I didnt kiss her!

An
enraged Kim turned back to her familiar nemesis. Shego, this is a
new low even for you! Youre going down! Hard!

Whoa,
whoa! Chill out, Princess! Shego replied, hands held up in a
defensive gesture. This is just a soap and has no basis in
reality. Besides, Rons just not . . . my
type.

So! My
Rons not good enough for you? Is
that what youre saying?
Kim was close to going totally ballistic.

KP . .
. pleaded Ron.

Stay
outta this, RON!
Youre in enough trouble as it is!

Shego
smiled evilly as she realized how much this was getting to Kim. On
second thought, he has grown a lot over the past few years . .
. and hes actually pretty good looking, as sidekicks go. She
stroked her chin in thought. Yeah, hes good enough to be my new
. . . boy toy . . .

THATS
IT!
With a yell, Kim launched herself at Shego, fiercely attacking her
with an intensity that surprised even herself.

Ron
looked down at Rufus and commented, Wow, I havent seen Kim this
mad at Shego since the Little Diablo sitch. But thats par for the
course, considering how this days been going.

Oh,
well! Rufus
replied with a shrug of his little shoulders.

Meanwhile,
in the next room . . .

Erika was
now deep in conversation with a very uncomfortable looking Dr.
Drakken.

No
Drak, its best that we part. You have another wife, and I have
another husband. And he
has another wife, and she
has another husband! No, after all our years of wedded bliss, its
au
revoir,
Drack. We must think of the child: after all, we do
have a child. And she
has a child, and the child has another husband, and he
has another wife. And she
has a child: and that
child, Drak . . . is our
child: Sheanca. I need to go away somewhere and figure this whole
thing out.

Ron was
eavesdropping, having hidden himself behind a large fern. Sheanca
is Drakkens daughter? Thats just wrongsick! Ron whispered to
Rufus. But on second thought, it does explain a lot.

Dr. D stumbled with his line. Uh, yes, Erika, Im, uh, aware
of all this, and that our own child, through marriage, uh, is now my
aunt, and your sisters mother, on your grandmothers
side.

Just then, Kim and Shego came crashing through the flimsy wall,
locked in combat, their dresses now in shreds.

Keep away from my boyfriend, you witch! screamed Kim,
as she threw Shego across the room.

Shego landed on her feet, and yelled, Well, this day hasnt
been a bed of roses for me either, Princess! She fired off
a few plasma bursts as Kim advanced on her. Kim deftly avoided them
as she grabbed Shego, flipping both of them over a couch and onto the
floor.

Drack, do something! Erika demanded.

Dr. D
stammered, Um, what would you, uh . . . like me to do, uh, Erika?

Erika cozied up to Drakken and purred, Youve got to help me
take Zacharon out of the picture, if you catch my drift. Her
voice harshened as the background music darkened forebodingly. And
if you dont, Ill reveal to the world that you had an affair
with my cousins sister by marriage to my third ex-husbands
nephew!

But
wasnt she the one who perished in the car crash? Or was that the
helicopter accident? Nnngh. I can never keep these episodes
straight!

Shego and
Kim froze in mid-fight, a look of surprise on their faces. Shego
asked, Dr. D, you watch All My Neurotic Children?

Uh,
only to stay current, Shego . . . er, I mean, Sheanca
. . .

Dont push it, Drack! she replied threateningly.
Kim and Shego resumed their combat, taking out another wall on the
set.

Then from behind Ron, Bonnie suddenly appeared, also wearing a
mint green bridesmaids dress.

Ron saw her and grinned from ear to ear. Bon-Bon! Youre OK!

Bonnie was still non-plussed by the days events, but relieved
to see Ron. Yeah, good to see you too, Stoppable. Here, take Kims
Kimmunicator thingy and call Wade. He has something important to tell
you.

Wade appeared on the screen. Ron! You okay?

Yeah, Wade, he replied, quickly ducking out of the way of a
flying potted plant. Any news? Good I hope?

Wade frowned. Well, yes and no. I discovered that Drakkens
Magnetronic Personality Analyzer is based on Moodulator technology,
so when you enter a new TV show, youll tend to take on the
personalities and moods of the characters themselves.

Ron ducked a few plates that had just been thrown by Kim and
Shego, and quickly made the connection between everyones
characters and actions that day. Whoa! That explains a lot. Kim
and Shego are at it right now, and Kim is jellin like theres no
tomorrow over me and Shego.

Wades jaw dropped. You and Shego? What did you . . . no, I
dont want to know. He shivered involuntarily at the thought.
Ron, theres one more problem. Im picking up the electronic
signature of more than one Quantum Reverser and Dimensional Compiler.
Its making it hard to keep a lock on everyone and get you all into
the same program in order to return you home.

Ron thought for a minute, and then
realized what had happened. Wade, I think I know why youre
picking up more than one signature. Drakken had a separate Quantum
Reverser and Dimensional Compiler when we were in that similar sitch
last year. The Quantum Reverser got sucked into a vortex and never
recovered, and the Dimensional Compiler may have been lost too.
Ron and Bonnie ducked a huge slab of wedding cake as it flew by their
heads and smashed into the only remaining wall still standing on the
set. Uh, Wade, can you deactivate that Magna-Whatsit Analyzer
thingy without throwing us into a black hole?

Sure, Ron! Let me try this switch here, and . . . done!

Thanks, Wade! Kim and Shegos battle royale started to
wind down. It looks like weve got everyone into this show
except for Kims dad. Can you get a lock on him?

Ill try. Just dont use your own Dimensional Compiler
until I can get you all into the same TV program. It might split you
guys up further. Stand by . . .

The set was by now in complete shambles. Both exhausted, Kim and
Shego faced each other while Erika Kane just stood there, speechless.

No wedding today, Erika! panted Kim. All right Ron,
whats the sitch?

Ron smiled. Wades going to try to move us all into the same
bon-diggity show along with your dad, and then back to our own
dimension.

Drakken noticed that Ron had the Quantum Reverser and Dimensional
Compiler in his hands. He moved toward him and said, Ill take
that please . . .

But Kim blocked him, saying, No way, Drakken. Well just hold
onto this until we all make it home, and then its back to Cell
Block D for you two! Dr. D just sighed resignedly. She took the
Kimmunicator back from Ron, relieved to finally have it back in her
possession. All right, Wade, were all together except for my
dad.

Wades fingers flew over his computer keyboard. OK Kim, here
goes . . .

Please and thank you, Wade!

Dr.
Drakken turned to Shego and said, My, that Erika was . . . scary!
I dont think Ive ever looked into the face of pure evil
before.

Shego
smiled slyly. Well, she is my mother . . .

And in a
moment, they all disappeared . . .

. . . and
then reappeared on the bridge of a science-fiction spacecraft.

Kim sat
in the Captains chair, and Ron and Rufus were seated at the helm.
All were wearing black uniforms with red shoulders, while Bonnie was
behind them wearing a onepiece silver-gray jumpsuit. Dr. Possible
was nowhere to be seen.

Kim
grabbed her Kimmunicator. Wade! It looks like were on a sci-fi
show, and my dads still not here!

Wade
frowned. Kim, Ive asked you not to call it sci-fi! It
denigrates the genre!

SO not
in the mood right now, Wade! What show are we on?

Wade
quickly looked around the bridge and smiled. Kim, it looks like
youre on Space Passage: Explorer! Youre Captain Kim
Gangway, in command of the deep-space cruiser Explorer,
trapped in the Zeta quadrant 50,000 light years from Earth. Your
helmsman is Ron London, expert pilot and notorious wiseguy.

No big
surprise there, Wade! Kim smirked.

Hey,
chill out KP! The Ronster can handle this bon-diggity bad boy, no
problem.

And
who am I, loser? Bonnie asked with crossed arms.

Bonnie,
youre Six of Eight, a Berg drone thats been changed back into a
human, mostly.

So
thats why I have this iPod stuck on my face? she complained,
trying to remove what looked like an electronic device above her
eyebrow.

Wade
continued, Those are Berg implants that help you communicate with
the Berg Collection, the bad guys on this show.

Ron
perked up. Implants? he snickered.

Kim
frowned. Watch it, Ron! Electronic implants, Mr.
Mind-In-The-Gutter! So, Wade, where do we find these bad guys?

On cue, a
terrific weapons impact shook the ship. On the viewscreen, Dr.
Drakken appeared. One eye appeared to be normal, but his other one
now looked like an electronic eyepatch. One of his arms had been
replaced with a massive electronic prosthesis, the end of which
displayed several diabolical-looking devices. He spoke in a weird,
electronically altered voice.

This
is Drakutus, of Berg. Your life, as you know it, is over. Surrender
the Quantum Reverser and Dimensional Compiler, or be destroyed. You
have 30 seconds . . .

To Be
Continued . . .

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Well,
from a soap opera to sci-fi . . . oops, sorry Wade! How will Kim and
crew escape this time? Update next week!