Kim Possible Porn Story: Confessions of a Teenage Heroine – Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I only own my villainesses and Shego’s parents.

I brought the baseball thing up, naturally, to my friends. They all kind of looked at me like I was sniffing markers.

“GJ would never let someone off the hook like that,” Metaphor stated.

“Well, would Betty lie to me?” I asked. They all glanced away, “Come on, you guys, this is Goldie we’re talking about.”

“This is also GJ we’re talking about. I just escaped from juvie,” War Hawk said tentatively. I sighed.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“I’m not saying I’m not up for it, Golden Arrow and you are like sisters to me, I’m just saying we’d have to be careful and keep Betty to her word,” War Hawk explained. I nodded. Betty was one of the few people I could trust to keep her word, and that was really saying something for me.

“Love the girl, not sure if I’m willing to risk it. I mean, there are other ways besides baseball games,” Metaphor pointed out.

“Legal ways? Come on; you and I both know we can kick some serious henchmen butt,” They pursed their lips.

“I’ll do it,” Mischief chirped like Tommy Pickles. I brightened.

“Really?”

“Under one condition,” her voice changed to Angelica Pickles. She pointed over to the Sound of Music audition sheet.

“Oh, come on!” I begged her. She cocked an eyebrow. I sighed, “Fine, I’ll try out,” Not that I was going to get a part anyway. We had drama geeks coming out our ears at Go City High, and a hundred better singers than me.

“If Missy gets something, so should the rest of us,” Metaphor said.

“That mean the rest of you are going to help me out?” I asked.

“Like we’re going to leave you out at the diamond to face WWEE alone,” War Hawk said.

“We’re not that heartless,” Metaphor laughed. I shrugged.

“So, you all get an IOU, and it CAN NOT be cashed in for letting you rule the world. We still need more people, I mean there’s one, two, three, four of us here, and a team is generally nine…” Just then, Tigress walked by.

“Should I?” I asked them.

“Don’t waste your breath,” War Hawk suggested.

“So, what are you trying out for?” Metaphor asked me. We were waiting in line for our turn to sing in front of the judges. Well, actually I guess they weren’t judges, but it sure felt like that. Especially after the amazing performance Mischief gave; Julie Andrews herself wasn’t a better Maria. Not that it was to anyone’s surprise, but I still hated her for it.

“Liesel, you?” I asked.

“Everyone, but I was actually asking your brothers,” Metaphor pointed behind me. I whirled around.

Hego and Mego acted like they hadn’t been standing in line behind me. They looked at me, feigning surprise.

“Well, hey, Shego.”

“Small world.”

“What are you two doing here?” Mego sighed.

“The therapist says that enrolling in extracurricular activities may help busy my imagination,” he glared at me. I looked innocently back at him.

“Who wouldn’t want to be in the Sound of Music? That is, like, the best musical ever,” Mego, Metaphor and I all looked at Hego. He cleared his throat, “I mean, I wanna kiss a girl. Yeah.”

I will not be surprised if one of these days one or more of my brothers come out of the closet.

“Next!” They called. Metaphor walked up to the stage and auditioned. She was amazing. Way better than I was. Oh crap, now I was feeling nervous. Really nervous. Why did I ever agree to this?

“Next!” I nervously went up on stage.

“Name?” A man asked me

“Shego.”

“What role?”

“Liesel VonTrapp.”

“And what will you be singing?”

“The only song I know, the one about the kittens and the rain and all that good stuff,” I took a deep breath, “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…snowflakes that stay on my nose and my lashes. Bright paper packages tied up in strings, these are a few of my favorite things. When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad. I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.”

They nodded and wrote some things down.

“Next!” They called. I ran out of there, hands on my ears. I didn’t know how well Hego could sing, and I was sure I didn’t want to know.

Will Du and I were both checking in for our shift at the same time. If you don’t know him, I hope you never do. I guess he’s not that bad, but he is still a jerk.

“Ready for the baseball game?” He asked.

“How do you know about that?” I asked, punching my time card.

“Who doesn’t?” He punched his.

“I’m still trying to get a full team together. So far, no one’s really volunteering…” He snickered, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Will!”

“Apparently she didn’t tell you when the game will be held.”

“No, I just assumed she’d wait until I had a team at least,” We passed by the Employee of the Month wall. Guess whose picture was under every month?

Well, it sure as heck wasn’t me.

“She’s scheduled the game for 1700 hour at the Go City recreational park, today. I plan to attend; seeing you getting your butt kicked will be well worth the wasted time,” he commented, going off to the briefing room.

I growled. Somebody needed to show that boy up…and tell him that GJ didn’t operate on military time.

“Another reason why I hate GJ; no wait time. They just say, “Hey, let’s do this now instead of giving adequate warning to the other party. They won’t mind”,” Metaphor went off as we walked towards the ball park.

“I didn’t even have enough time to make team outfits,” Mischief whined, sounding like Sid from Toy Story.

“Shego, how are we going to pull this off? There’s only four of us,” War Hawk murmured in my ear.

“Easy. You’ll be pitcher, Mischief will be catcher, Metaphor will play first base, and I third base. The rest are extra positions,” I assured her. She glanced at me, but didn’t bother questioning me again.

The other team were in outfits, I saw as we approached the baseball fields for Go City Park. GJ outfits, strangely. They were big, bulky henchmen nearly twice my size. And there, perched on the pitcher’s mound like a smug athlete, was Will Du. He smirked at me and it was all I could do not to blast him.

Shelldon groaned.

“Oh, grow up, Shelldon. I told you to pick your own team,” Betty hissed.

“But I didn’t know that you would pick some half-witted girls for my team. What happened to honor?”

“I could ask you the same question,” she muttered. She walked over to us, a grin on her face.

“Told you to pick your own team? Half-witted girls? Betty, is there any chance we’re the ones playing for Shelldon?” I asked.

“Like I would trust you to be on my team,” she scoffed. My mouth fell open. I felt like she had just slapped me across the face. Wha, what? She didn’t trust me to lead her to victory?

Betty looked proudly at her team.

“Pull this off and I’ll throw in your icy friend,” she snickered.

Mischief wandered up, gnawing at some kind of meat on a stick.

“Omg, I just found the cooliest vendor ever over there, Almost Everything On a Skewer,” Mischief was talking like a hyper prep. She offered the stick to Metaphor, “Alligator?”

“Ew, no!”

“So, what’s a goin’ on?” She asked in an Italian accent.

“We’re batting for the other team, apparently,” War Hawk said. Mischief burst out laughing.

“Oh, grow up!” I said exasperantly, though on the inside I admitted that was kind of funny. You know, if I wasn’t so furious at Betty.

By the bottom of the ninth, no one had scored a run. However, my girls were wiped out. Nine against four with relievers for the other team weren’t exactly fair odds. Actually, I was amazed we had managed this long.

I had called a time out. Betty was driving into her team’s head the fact that they only needed one more out to beat us. I could hear this from my dugout because she was screaming it. And what of the fearless WWEE leader? He had been sulking in a corner the entire game. You can imagine how much respect I have for Gemini…

Apparently everyone else decided to go get something on a stick. They were sitting there gnawing away at their sticks, completely unconcerned with the end of the game approaching.

“Guys, we’re batting with two outs against us and you’re eating?” They glanced down at their food as though just realizing it was there.

“We’re refueling,” Mischief informed me, sounding like a corporate executive.

“You’re up to bat next anyway,” Metaphor pointed out. I shrugged.

“I guess.”

“I brought you some chocolate covered strawberries on a stick,” War Hawk said.

“See? Now that’s what a team does; they think of each other.”

“I think the time out’s over, Coach Go,” Metaphor pointed and I looked over. Sure enough, Team GJ was back in their positions. I took the bat and put on the helmet.

Will grinned at me condescendingly from the pitcher’s mound. Oh, that smug look he gave me everytime he looked at me, like I wasn’t good enough to so much as breathe his air! Well, I’ll breathe all of his air until all he’s got left is an empty vaccumm of space!

The first pitch went past. I didn’t swing.

“Strike one!” The umpire (I think his name was Bill) called a little too joyfully, throwing it back to Will.

“You have a lot of bark, but I haven’t seen your bite,” he caught it, “This whole game now rests on your shoulders. Whether evil triumphs over good…” He wound up and pitched it to me.

Shelldon started to cry. Betty was grinning. My team was screaming at me.

“THAT WAS PERFECT! WHY’D YOU LET IT GO?!”

“Strike two!” Bill threw it back to Will. Will caught it.

“Nah. We all know good always triumphs over evil, because there are people like you batting for evil. Thankfully, there’s people like me,” That did it.

The ball whizzed through the air at Major League Baseball speed. I swung my bat as hard as I could, aiming for his testicles.

And like every good cliche baseball/Princess Diaries movie, he wasn’t wearing a cup.

He let out a high pitch scream as he crumpled to the ground. I threw the bat down and raced for first, and then went on to second. The problem was that someone took the initiative to run up and get the ball. I noticed that as I went on to third, where someone was waiting with a ball. No way, no way was I loosing to the likes of them.

I kicked him in the shin. The pain distracted him long enough so that I made it to third base. They screamed at me to stay, but you know me. I have to do the exact opposite of what people tell me to do.

I didn’t look around to see where the ball was. I just kept running as hard and as fast as I could. But then I saw the ball flying through the air towards Bill. And I dove for it.

Okay, so slow motion is just something you see in the movies. But it sure felt like I was in it as I closed my eyes and waited for impact. For hours. But I finally hit and opened my eyes, eager to see the excited faces of my teammates.

Instead, they were screaming hysterically at me, motioning me back. I glanced behind. I had overshot the base.

Now, I don’t know what happened, whether Bill accidentally or on purpose dropped the ball, but it gave me enough time to army crawl back to home plate and score a run. This boosted our morale through the roof.

Metaphor went up to bat and morphed into a gorilla. As everyone knows, you don’t try to stop a gorilla from scoring. Another run. War Hawk was next, flitting from base to base with her wings, landing just long enough to touch base. Another run. Mischief was up next. She struck out. The game was over, 3 to 0. Nada. Zilch. Cero.

As girls have a tendency of doing, we celebrated by gathering in a tight circle, talking rapidly in high pitched squeals and jumping up and down excitedly.

“Shego, you did it! You actually pulled this off!” Metaphor said while laughing.

“No, we did it. You think I could have done this myself?” War Hawk groaned.

“You’re starting to sound like Hego, with the whole team thing,” she teased.

“I say Shego takes us out for ice cream to celebrate,” Mischief suggested like Oprah.

“Yeah. These chocolate covered strawberries on a stick just didn’t hit the spot,” I had seen the trash can behind me, so I threw the stick behind me. Hard.

I heard a scream and whirled around. Betty had come to do the honorable thing and congratulate me. However, she had not warned me that she was standing behind me.

The result? She was gushing blood everywhere, the majority of a skewer driven into her eye and brain.

“I am so going to loose my job for this,” I muttered to Hego. Even with the director of Global Justice going to the emergency room, the girls had forced me to take them out for ice cream. Then Hego calls and says, “Hey, you need to come home for dinner” and I say, “Sorry, can’t, my villainess friends are holding me hostage” and he says, “Fine, I’ll be right there. Just don’t tell Mom I’m driving without a licensed driver in the car”.

One unnecessary physical fight between Hego and my friends at the local Dairy Queen later, I was spilling my guts out to him about the whole baseball game and stabbing my boss in the eye unintentionally.

Hego laughed.

“Loose your job? I’d be more concerned on whether I was on the FBI’s Most Wanted list for attempted assassination of a…whatever she is.”

“It was an accident. I was throwing it away and she was standing behind me.”

“Sure. And what are the chances of you “throwing” it behind you so hard it is driven through her eye and into her brain?”

“Apparently freakin’ good enough. Do you think that would be enough to actually kill her?”

“I’ll keep an eye on the obituaries for you,” he pulled into the driveway.

We walked in the front door and Mom burst out laughing at the sight of us. This was never a good sign. We glanced down self-consciously.

“I didn’t get a role,” Mego announced, trying not to sound as pleased as he looked.

“How would you know that already? The cast sheet won’t be up for a couple days,” Hego asked. Mego pointed at Mom.

“You know, I knew our drama department had a sense of humor. But a sense of irony?” Mom cracked up.

“Did I get in?” Hego asked eagerly.

“Oh, you got in. You and Shego both,” Mom wrapped an arm around me.

“OH HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE SHE-GO?! HOW DO YOU TAKE A CLOUD AND PIN IT DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN?!” I groaned.

“Mom, can you please stop singing musical songs at the top of your lungs? War Hawk can tap into our security cameras…”

“AND HOW DO YOU MAKE HER STAY AND LISTEN TO ALL YOU SAY?!”

“Mom…”

“HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW DO YOU HOLD A MOONBEAM IN YOUR HAND?! Okay, I’m done.”

“Are you trying to tell me I got the part of Frauline Maria?” Mom snorted.

“With Mischief trying out? Love you, honey, but you don’t have trillions of voices to choose from,” she patted me on the back, “Better start going to mass, Mother, or you’ll loose your robes.”

“I’m a nun?!” I squeaked. Hego and Mego cracked up as Mom nodded.

“Not just a nun, the head nun. The one that tells Maria to climb every mountain,” Mom snickered, “You wouldn’t last a week in a nunnery.”

“Got that right,” I muttered. It was bad enough that I had made it, but as the head nun. The villainesses were going to die laughing when the list came up.

Mom patted Hego on the back.

“And my son. My Honor Roll, perfect attendence, class president, keeper of justice superhero son… You are Rolfe,” Hego shrugged.

“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Yeah, he’d probably like smacking lips with a complete stranger playing Liesel.

Mom smirked.

“Did you not pay attention during the second half, when it went into politics? Rolfe is a…is a…” Mom doubled over, tears spilling from her eyes, “HE’S A FLIPPING NAZI!” I burst into laughter. Not even I could picture Hego saluting the leader of one of the biggest genocides in history.

“Better practice your “Heil Hitler”‘s, Hego,” I teased, jabbing him in the ribs.

“Better go say your prayers, Mother,” he grumbled.

Wow, it’s been an extremely long time since I’ve updated, partially because I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle the baseball scene (I know it well enough, but not too well). But mostly because I have found a new addiction: the anime/manga Hellsing! (gets a silly grin on her face thinking about AxI) One of these days I should do a crossover. Alucard and Shego would be such a cute couple, and Integra with Drakken would just be frickin’ hilarious. (starts daydreaming about Father Anderson) Anyway, that’s my excuse. Review and you will be sent good vibes.