Kim Possible Porn Story: Confessions of a Teenage Heroine Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I only
own my villainesses and Shego’s parents. And other random people.

The school was buzzing with girlish
excitement, the kind that makes my stomach churn like a bad case of
salmonella.

“You can be my date,” War
Hawk offered. I smirked.

“Thanks. What time will I be
picking you up?” I asked sarcastically.

“I’ll be over about 5:30. We’re
going out for dinner,” she decided, giving me a teasing pat on
the shoulder. I rolled my eyes at the sweet gesture. Usually we went
to dances together, anyway.

It seemed like the clock had frozen,
moving at a glacieral pace. The Animology craze was dying down a
little late for me, but at least it was dying. A last-minute
get-a-date group was gathered on the stage in the cafeteria, and I
glanced over at it. As suspected, the pickings were scarce, and I
wasn’t going to sink so low. I didnt know why it bothered me so
much that I didn’t have some guy tagging along; like I had ever been
traditional. I’d probably have more fun with just my girls.

I had convinced myself that boys were
unnecessary oxygen suckers by the time I was going to my truck after
school. I unlocked the door and slid behind the wheel. I looked
casually to the passenger’s seat as I prepared to toss my backpack
into it. I gave a surprised cry as I spotted Golden Arrow curled up
on the floor. She put her finger to her lips and gave me an urgent
look. If she wasn’t trying to be so sneaky, she probably would have
yelled at me to shut up.

“What are you doing?!” I
hissed.

“Hiding. Now get out of here
before she sniffs me out.”

“Alright,” I tossed my
backpack on top of her (she growled, but otherwise didn’t object) and
put the truck into reverse.

Apparently the rearview mirror was
created for a reason.

There was a hard thud and I slammed on
the brakes. I twisted around to see what I had hit. It wasn’t a car,
and momentary relief flooded me. But then I realized it had to be
either a large thing, or a person. I heard an enraged animalistic
snarl and knew instantly I was screwed.

Without thinking, I took my foot off
the brakes and slammed on the gas. Apparently, Tigress had attempted
to get up because I heard another hard thud. This time, I kept
backing up and pulling out of the parking space, speeding like there
was no tomorrow to answer to.

Is there such thing as accidental
revenge, or is it put under the “karma” category?

&&&

“She’s got a double date lined up.
The Baudelaire twins.”

“The Baudelaine twins?!”

“Yeah.”

The Baudelaine twins were impossibly
perfect; two 6 foot 5 tan muscle-bound gods with golden hair and
hypnotizing blue eyes. Perfect 4.0 GPAs, president and vice president
of the senior class, both with full sports and academic scholarships,
captains of their sports. Girls would kill for just a conversation
with them, let alone a date. But I could see Golden Arrow’s point of
view; it was a shallow victory that would look more like a social
climber stunt than a casual dance partner. Girls would make her a
target for months, and chances were they wouldn’t play fair. Plus the
fact Golden Arrow would already hate going to this contest of who
looked the best and who had the ideal boy on their arm.

Golden Arrow began taking the curlers
out of my hair. My nails were already done, as was my make-up and
shaving duties. My heart was pounding in excitement for some
unexplainable reason; guess there was a feminine part of me after
all.

“I doubt she’s still looking for
me. She would scarcely have the time to do herself, let alone
hopeless little me,” she said with satisfaction. I heard
footsteps in the hallway.

“Are you naked?” Mego called
bluntly. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

“No.”

“Hego wants us in the team room,
dunno why.”

“I’m busy.”

“And I wasn’t? Come on; get it
done and over with,” I sighed, getting off my chair. Golden
Arrow followed me, continuing to take the curlers out as we walked
towards the team room.

Hego stared as I came in dressed
solely in a bath robe.

“You’re already getting ready?”
He said in amazement. I huffed.

“Doy. It takes about 90 minutes
for your every 15 to get ready.”

“Should we be concerned that one
of our biggest enemies is in our HQ?” Wego 1 asked.

“She’s seeking asylum from
Tigress,” I explained.

“Relax, I’ve got my priorities
figured out,” she insisted, taking out the last of my curlers. I
sat down in my chair and she began fixing my hair as best she could
without the aid of a comb.

“So what’s with the meeting?”
I asked.

“The mayor’s line is buzzing,”
he said, and pointed to a flashing “oh crap” sign. I
stifled the curses I was thinking.

“Do I look like I’m ready for a
meeting with the mayor?!” The t.v. flicked on and one of those
curses slipped out, to Mego’s delight and Hego’s angst (Not in front
of the Wegos!). Golden Arrow plopped down on my lap, mostly covering
my inappropriate attire.

“Team Go, we hath a problem on our
hanths,” Golden Arrow had to bite her lip to stop from laughing
at the mayor’s unfortunate lisp.

“What is it?” Hego asked
worriedly, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Ith seems that Electronique hath
broken out of prithon.” She was in prison? Hmmm, I needed to
keep better track of which of my foes were in the jailhouse or out.

Hego, in perfect hero fashion, gasped
at the news as though the thought that the security would fail yet
again and cause us more work had never crossed his mind.

“The sovereign of software? The
empress of electricity? The tyrant of technology?” Really, he
could go on for days like that, “What could the princess of
popular programs be up to?” The mayor suddenly seemed bashful.

“Er, I justh thought Team Go
woulth like a heaths up. The With of the World Wide Web ith dormant
rigth now.”

“Oh, er, thanks Mr. Mayor,”
Hego had obviously been ready to go save the universe from the queen
ofah, heck, I wasn’t any good at those.

“My pleathure.” The screen
went blank.

“I am really scared of what y’all
call me behind my back,” Golden Arrow muttered, getting off my
lap.

“Just one; the blonde without
boobs,” Mego shot back. She glared at him.

“You know, you’ve always been my
least favorite Go member.” All of a sudden, all of my brothers
had stood up. I got to play the fun “What’s Behind Shego’s Back
That Everyone’s Freaking Out About?” game.

“Tigress!” Wego 1 shouted.

“Twelve o’clock!” Wego 2
added.

“No, that’s six o’clock, dummy.
You have to do it according to the other person’s position, not
yours,” Mego hissed.

“I’d say she’s just past five
myself,” Hego murmured.

“That’s because of where you’re
standing,” I turned around.

“Well, now Tigress is at twelve
o’clock.”

Tigress, for once, wasn’t staring at
any of our throats ready to pounce. Her eyes were only for Golden
Arrow, sizing her up.

“How’d you get into the Go Tower?”
I wondered, knowing my mother wasn’t exactly Tigress’s biggest fan.

“Your bedroom window,” she
replied flippantly.

Well, that wasn’t creepy or
stalker-ish at all.

“Come on, now, let’s not make a
scene,” Tigress purred, inching closer to Golden Arrow. Golden
Arrow backed away.

“Heck no, I’m not going with you
back to the lair. If I’m going to that dance at all, it’s going to be
in sweat pants and without one of your twins.”

“No way!” Tigress dove for
her but she was ready, stepping out of the way.

It was almost all-out war. From being
in more fights than I cared to count with the deadly cat woman, I
could immediately tell she was holding back. Upon further analysis of
my friend’s situation, I noticed Tigress was minimizing her use of
claws. Actually, she made no attempt whatsoever to draw blood. Oh,
shoot, that meant one thing; apocalypse. She could be in the
sanctuary, about to go down the aisle in her pure white wedding
dress, and Tigress would still jump at the chance to get in a
senseless gore fest.

Not that any of us were complaining.
As much as I loved Goldie, I was glad it was her and not me for once.

“Think we should be concerned
yet?” Wego 1 asked as Golden Arrow was pinned on our refurbished
poker table.

“Nah, it’s just like when Shego
beats the crap out of Mego. There may be some blood loss, but he’s
always well enough to complain like the sore loser he is,” Hego
said encouragingly, dodging as the pair came a little too close to
him. Mego glared.

“It’s only ’cause she’s not strong
enough to beat you,” he muttered. I snorted.

“Please, I could beat him. It’s
just the retaliation that makes me nervous. Hey!” I objected as
Tigress was knocked into my lap. She jumped out and pounced on a
prepared Golden Arrow. I huffed, “Imma gonna release the hounds,
now.”

Well one angry, territorial Go-go and
one hissing, sneezing Tigress later, the fight was broken up and
Tigress disappeared. Golden Arrow gave me a relieved glance and we
went back to my room. My window had been left mysteriously open.

It was dark out by the time we were
finished. I was very happy with the outcome; the dress went
wonderfully with the curls and make up. Golden Arrow looked very
pleased with herself and, as she told me, “Not bad for someone
who doesn’t know what she’s doing”. We went down onto the ground
floor, Mom already positioned to pounce with the camera in her hands.

“Wow, you pulled it off.
Beautiful,” she admired, the same gleam in her eyes as when she
was admiring an especially hard-stolen jewel. Not that I thought my
mom was seeing me as an object, but she was definitely happy that the
stolen dress worked.

Golden Arrow ripped off the lingering
tag, glanced at it, and gave a low whistle.

“Man, it’d take me months
of my paycheck on a hench girl’s salary to afford this. Maybe I’m on
the wrong side,” Mom gave me a knowing look, but thankfully
didn’t explain to my dear friend that I was actually dabbling on her
side.

Headlights came through the window.

“Your date’s here,” Golden
Arrow teased. A few minutes later, she knocked hesitantly on the
door. Mom hurried to open it.

“Oh my. The shrinking violet
finally blossomed, didn’t she?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Go.”

War Hawk did look pretty, her hair
lightly curled and eye make-up causing her lavender eyes to stand
out. She didn’t overdose on the blush or lip color, in fact with her
blushing all the time it was hard to notice she even put stuff on.
Her dress had one strap that started on one side, wrapped around her
neck, and then attached to the other side, clinging to her torso and
then letting loose at her hips. It ended so you could see her high
heels with open toes. A see through take out box was clutched in her
hands; a boutonniere nestled among some packing stringy stuff.

“Awww, you shouldn’t have,” I
said. She smiled.

“Alright, I’m loaded and cocked,”
Mom announced, holding the camera up to her eye. Obediently, we
crowded together as she snapped pictures, posing and splitting off
for pairs and individual shots.

Finally, she lowered her weapon.

“You are released,” she
announced. War Hawk shook her head.

“Actually, we’re waiting on one
other Go tonight.”

Thud, thud, ow. We all turned our
attention to the bumbling dolt who kept hitting the walls. Our eyes
widened as Hego hurried down, straightening his blue tie with one
hand and holding a small case in the other, looking like it had been
shot a couple of times for ventilation. He had on a tux, his shirt
was tucked in, belt on I felt like a bomb I had been waiting to go
off had just exploded right next to me, causing me to go deaf in one
ear and shake uncontrollably at the aftershock.

‘Cause Hego sure wasn’t going to the
Sadie Hawkin’s with me.

He came down with Golden Arrow and me
in a state of shock and sheepishly handed the box to her. War Hawk’s
eyes widened.

“Is this really from Madame
Botanist?” She asked. He nodded sheepishly.

“I couldn’t find anyone else to
genetically alter a rose to the color of your wings in such a short
amount of time.”

“Awww, illegal genetic mutation
for me? How sweet,” she hugged him.

“I’m telling you, world
domination,” Golden Arrow muttered.

“Baby steps, Goldie, baby steps,”
I assured her. Mom, done with shaking her head and pinching herself,
just stared as War Hawk put on her corsage and Hego attempted to pin
his boutonniere to his pocket.

“Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD!!!!!!”
She screeched. Hego shielded War Hawk as though Mom was going to hurt
her second daughter.

“Mom, please, I’m old enough to
have a girlfriend,” he pleaded.

“You two knuckleheads finally got
together!” She exclaimed. She gave a shuddering breath, and
looked almost like she was going to cry, “First, Shego’s a thief
and now you’re going out with a respectable villainessoh I’ve
never been prouder!”

“Shego’s a what?” Hego asked,
turning to me.

An awkward moment ensued, with the
only sound being my mother’s dry sobs and “thank you baby
Jesuss. Hego finally just stuck the red rose in his pocket.

“Uh, shall we, then?” Hego
asked.

“Yeah. I invited Shego along; you
don’t mind of course?” She sugar-coated her voice. Hego didn’t
look so enthusiastic. He was about to open his mouth when I pulled
Golden Arrow closer.

“It’s all good. I got a
last-minute date with me. Sorry to break up with you so suddenly,”
I said dramatically to War Hawk. She pretended to wipe tears from her
eyes.

“It’s alright. Somehow, I’ll just
have to get over this disappointment,” she sighed. Golden Arrow
glanced at me.

“You don’t expect me to change, do
you?”

“No, I have exceptionally low
standards for first dates with my enemies,” War Hawk waved and
Hego nodded as they made their way to the door.

“Wait, you two, I didn’t get
pictures!”

“Run for it!” I screamed.
They dashed to the door, a nostalgic mother with a camera in hot
pursuit. We laughed, watching the spectacle.

They paused, though, as Mego came
pounding down the stairs. Mom huffed, knowing she couldn’t get them
to pose happily.

Hey,
guys, weve got a red alert. Electroniques up to her usual and
it doesnt sound like we have long.

War
Hawk and Hego exchanged anxious looks. Hego sighed and Golden Arrow
looked horrified.

You
arent even remotely considering saving the world instead of going
to the dance with your new loving girlfriend? She hissed. Hego was
silent.

I
couldnt let this happen. They were finally together and going out.
Who knew how long it would take for them to arrange another date.
Gosh, I hated super villain timingwhen I was a hero, anyway.

I
took a deep breath.

Hego,
Ive got this. You and Chloe go on ahead.

Really?
Are you sure? Hego asked, looking shocked at my generous offer.

Its
Electronique. Douse her in water and shes helpless, War Hawk
hugged me.

Be
safe, she commanded.

Come
on, this is me.

Exactly
why she said that. Dont worry; Ill third-wheel the lovebirds,
Golden Arrow assured me, putting a hand on each of their shoulders.
Hego grimaced.

I
thought Shego was bad He muttered.

&&&

Alright,
this is an in-and-out operation. In. And. Out. I repeated, looking
Mego and both twins in the eyes.

Like
wed waste time Wego 2 began.

fighting
Miss Frizzy when we could be Wego 1 continued.

playing
video games, Wego 2 finished.

Why
did you come? I couldve led this mission, Mego grumbled. I
sighed.

Lets
pretend you did, mkay? Now, out. The boys crawled down from the
back seat and I heard three thuds as they jumped onto the concrete
parking lot outside of a large electronics store.

I
immediately began hacking into security with the Go jets computer.
I would have loved to just go to the Sadie Hawkins, ignore the call
to duty and dance my ill-obtained dress off. But an anxious feeling
gnawed at my stomach. The twins were awfully young, and Megos hero
skills were weak at best. Babysitting them while they caught the busy
escapee wouldnt take much effort, and while hanging out in the jet
was mind numbing, at least Golden Arrows hard work was safe.

I
absentmindedly wondered if flying the jet to the high school was
overkill, or even a waste of gas to fly twenty blocks off-route, as
they confronted Electronique. Several home appliances jumped at them
as though alive, Electronique laughing her maniacal laughter that all
villains seemed to have. Mego shrunk in order to hide from view and
the Wegos multiplied to overpower the hordes of computers whipping
their cords at them.

Electronique
seemed unfazed by the use of their powers. If anything, she laughed
even harder. I gasped.

Its
a trap! I screamed at the screen. No duh, they didnt hear me.
And they forgot one of the most important rules of heroism; never
take your eyes off of the boss.

With
the press of a few buttons on her universal remote, a mob of
refrigerators and freezers moved to the front line and gobbled up the
twins, locking them inside. A vacuum zoomed out of nowhere and picked
up the two inch Mego. In the time it took to wonder aloud how much
wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood, she had
my brothers imprisoned by common household items.

Mego
couldnt bust out of the cylinder just by becoming big again. All
of the Wegos in the world couldnt cause the titanium steel to
bend. Hego and I were the only ones whose powers had the brute force
they needed for escape.

I
stared at my reflection for a long time before deciding that even
saving my knuckleheaded brothers was worth more than upsetting a few
strands of my hair. Besides, Mom had pictures.

Slipping
into the building would have been a feat in high heels if it was any
other time. However, between the whirl of the machines,
Electroniques boasting, and my brothers cries for help, I
seemed like a ninja. I had already blasted half of the duplicates and
the originals free by the time Mistress Roboto realized they werent
alone.

Shego!
She screeched, apparently introducing me to her wired peeps. I gave a
small wave between shots of green plasma. Mego acted as though he had
broken out on his own, growing to his full size as the container
burst, striking a dramatic heroic pose. Boys were possibly the
strangest beings on earth.

I
got this, I muttered to him. He looked offended.

Shego

Seriously,
your incompetence is showing big time, Megos hands immediately
covered his family jewels. I rolled my eyes and vaporized an incoming
lap top, Take the jet and get the twins in bed on time.

But,
Shego

No
buts. You wanted to lead, go lead, I waved him off. He growled,
but his objections ceased as an UPod attempted to strangle him with
its headphones. He pried it off.

You
owe me, he hissed and signaled the twins to retreat. I turned my
gaze on Electronique, who was standing on top of a supermassive
entertainment system.

She
gave a tinkling giggle as her goggled eyes rested on me, slashing
technology to pieces as I made my way towards her.

Whats
with the fancy get-up, Miss Eeego? I groaned inwardly at the
way-too-overused villain play-on-words. Outwardly, I had her minions
wiry entrails spilling out on the ground.

Going
to a dance, you know, regular high school stuff. Thought Id swing
by and set you up with a date with the prison warden while I was
out, I said casually, gritting my teeth. Heels and crime fighting
did not go well together.

Oh,
did you? You shouldnt have; your date is waiting and its rude
to stand them up, I stumbled a little, but soon recovered.

Good
thing I dont have a date, then, huh? I said bitterly. Her
metallic eyebrows rose.

What,
the heroine of Go City couldnt get a date? My, thats tragic,
she said sarcastically. My hands balled into fists, Why is that?
No one good enough for you, or were all the chess nerds
uninterested? I didnt respond, my teeth clenched tightly
together.

Distracted
by my own humiliation, I felt something wrap around me like a snake.
I glanced down to see a few cell phone charger chords wound up on me.
Before I could rip them off, a good amount of volts shot through my
body. I screamed and fell to my knees, my eyes shut tight. The smell
of burnt fabric and the distant sound of Electroniques laughter
were the only things I could pick up past the sharp pain of
electrocution. The chargers shocked me several more times before I
fell to the floor, only partially conscious.

I
curled up into a ball, focusing on getting my breathing and heart
rate back to normal. It wasnt the first time I had been
electrocuted, and it sure wouldnt be the last, but it had never
been so severe before. I felt as though she had zapped my entire
energy supply. Vaguely, I heard an explosion and willed my eyes open,
only to see the roof blown off of the building. Fat, wet drops of
rain assaulted me.

About
three things I was absolutely certain. The first, I was without a
date. The second, there was a part of me, and I didnt know how
dominant that part might be, that just wanted to go home and cry. And
third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably a social disaster.

I
pushed myself off the ground, parts of my skin burned from the
impossibly harsh shock. I took a few steps towards the exit, trying
to keep my trembling lip held high. There was a wobble and then a
snap as I fell back down, my brand new heel broken off from the
stress of battle. It was too much.

Tears
spilled from my eyes as I realized this never would have happened if
I had just gone with Golden Arrow to the dance. Why did I have to be
a hero?! Why couldnt someone else, like the actual police, stop
these people?! I was a teenager! All I wanted was to go to a dance
with a guy and be beautiful! Was that really so much to ask for?! I
saved a guys country and he went out with my villainous best
friend! It was all so complicated when it didnt need to be! Why
did I ever agree to be a part of Team Go?!

I
sat with my knees drawn up to my chest, feeling sorry for myself as
the rain picked up. An image of Tigress laughing at my situation made
my chest clench. I didnt want to face her. Not when I didnt
feel like I had enough strength to even stand. Home sounded warm and
safe.

But
she would know if I didnt go to the dance. She would know that I
didnt have the strength to face her. And that would be like giving
her a free victory. I rose unsteadily to my feet, swaying a bit as I
felt the fatigue go through me. I took the high heels off my feet and
threw them aside; they wouldve given me blisters anyway. I wiped
the tears from my eyes, took a deep breath, and glanced around. Once
I knew which direction the school was in, I began running for it.

I
had never taken a beating sitting down. Even with my back against the
wall, I kept my chin high and hid the blood and tears. The odds could
be a million to one and Id still bet on the one. I didnt even
own a white flag. I never surrendered and never gave up. That was
just the way I was.

Sure,
it hurt at first. Yeah, it was awful conditions. Absolutely, I felt
like a dork. But I just focused on getting there; not on what was
waiting for me, not how I could be going home, and especially not
about how the bad guy slipped away and left me in such an ugly state.
Dunno if people stared cause I didnt look to see who was
watching. I was the only one whose opinion mattered in the end,
though other people sure did have a lot of power.

Out
of breath, I arrived at Go City High. My stomach churned as I glanced
at the flashing lights through the gym windows. The couples were
filing in, laughing and looking like movie stars. I straightened what
wrinkles I could and waltzed right into the midst of them, walking
through the front entrance.

In
the front hallway, some couples milled around. Mischief was with
Jesus, looking like a yellow 1920s flapper. Tyler had returned
from the gym to offer Artica a cup of punch, who was wearing a lovely
white strapless. Metaphor was in a classic low back black dress, a
popular and handsome thief I had seen a time or two on GJs Most
Wanted List standing and staring like a statue. And there, each arm
around a perfect Baudelaine twin in a sexy yet elegant red dress
showing off her chest at its best, was the one girl I hated more than
anything else.

My
hair was frizzed up like a Pomeranian fresh out of the dryer. My
dress looked like Swiss cheese and I reeked of burnt. My mascara was
smeared all over and my bare feet were scraped up from the gravel
run. My shoulder straps hung loosely, my skin burned in places and my
sequins falling off.

Tigress
burst out laughing, as did almost everyone else in the entire place.
I held my head high, forcing myself to look into Tigresss eyes.
She was grinning like I had never seen her grin before, her eyes
dancing in glee. I doubt nothing else in the world could make her
smile so than having her enemy publicly humiliate herself. She
probably thought she won.

Oh,
look at this. Arent you simply precious? The hobo/criminal look is
hard to pull off, but I think you are dandy,
she jeered, How dare you show your face here in such a horrid
state? Youre a disgrace to yourself and your family, I
shrugged.

I
dont care, I said simply, trying to move towards the ticket
desk.

Tigress
moved away from the sniggering twins to get in front of me.

I
certainly would, if I were you. You shouldnt even be here, looking
like a tramp. Its disgusting, she wrinkled her nose, Why
dont you just go home? Or are you looking for some pity? Little
Cinderella couldnt find a date and now her dress is in tatters?
Really, Shego, thats low, even for you.

There
were so many things I wanted to say. I deserved to be here after
attempting to save the world again.
She was the tramp, not me. No, I wasnt going to go home. The last
thing I wanted was pity. She was the queen of low. It wasnt all
about looks. A boy on my arm just for decoration was wrong. Why did
my social status matter so much to her? I was here to dance and hang
out. But if I said these things, it would add fuel to the fire,
giving her the fight she loved so much. I shrugged again.

I
dont care, I repeated, and tried to get past her. Her grin was
fading as she stepped in my path again.

I
dont think you heard me; leave. Youre just making a scene,
she hissed.

I
dont care, A familiar voice piped up.

Mischief,
one of my most loyal and yet one of my most backstabbing friends,
skipped up beside me. She began ruffling her hair, making it fluff up
and become messy. Before I could object, she had torn one of her
straps. It hung sadly from her shoulder. Jesus smiled as he followed
his girlfriends lead.

Es
nada, he insisted, motioning to my disheveled appearance. Its
nothing.

He
stripped off his tie, his belt, his socks and shoes. He untucked his
shirt and broke a few buttons, messing up his hair with a smile.
There was a snort.

I
dont care, Metaphor strode up to my other side, ripping her
dress as she smeared her mascara. There was a regretful sigh and then
Artica stepped up.

I
dont care, she said half-heartedly, undoing her perfect bun and
stamping down on her heels to break them.

And
I really dont
care! Tyler shouted as there was the sound of more tearing fabric.
Artica sighed.

Put
your clothes back on, this isnt a strip bar, she said tiredly.

Tigress
was barely holding onto her composure as I looked into her eyes
again.

Who
are you to judge the life I live? I know Im not perfect and I
dont try to be. But before you start pointin fingers, darling,
make sure your own hands are clean, I told her, brushing past her
to the ticket desk as a small amount of applause was created from my
quote.

I
was shocked to see the ticket taker was none other than Dr. Lipsky.
His grin was larger than the normal mans biggest grin, his hands
clapping enthusiastically. And were those tears in his eyes? I
glanced down and realized I had left my clutch in the jet, along with
my ticket to get in.

Um,
Dr. Lipsky, I swear I bought a ticket He glanced down at his
clipboard.

Yes,
you did, he looked me in the eyes, looking as proud as if I was
his daughter, And may I say that Ive never seen you more
beautiful than tonight.

I
felt on the verge of tears. How did he know exactly what to say to me
right now, how much I needed someone to tell me I was beautiful?

Thank
you, I whispered shakily.

Hey,
Im with her! I felt someone grab onto my arm. I turned to see
Golden Arrow at my side, still in her sweatpants and t-shirt. The
girls buzzed with gossip; could you believe that Artemis showed up in
such ghastly attire? And she went with another girl?

Isnt
that your sister, the one you tried to hook me up with? One of the
twins asked Tigress. Tigress didnt respond and I turned to see
what she was looking at.

War
Hawk and Hego had arrived. Not just come, but arrived.
The doors opened and they strolled in, grinning and laughing, looking
like the perfect couple. Not a hair was out of place on either of
them and they couldve been models or actors. It was clear who the
couple of envy were going to be tonight.

A
strange thing came over Tigress. One minute, shes about to rip out
my throat, next she looks like someone she trusted had slapped her
across the face without warning. Her mouth was partially open,
looking like that scene in the third Harry Potter where Sirius
Blacks getting the dementors kiss, how this little glowing orb
starts coming out of his open mouth thats supposed to resemble his
soul.

Golden
Arrow smirked and then said in a rather loud voice.

Better
cover up, Hilary. Your weakness is showing.

Tigress
didnt attack her. She didnt even say some smart remark. She
simply closed her mouth, bent her head, and stalked off. Usually,
shes a graceful, perfect little thing, but something about seeing
Hego and War Hawk defy her set her off the tracks. She bumped into a
boy holding a soda, causing him to spill it on Metaphors date. The
date glanced down at himself as he began to bubble and ooze green.

No!!!
Metaphor shouted, running to her date. By the time she got there, he
was only a puddle of goo everyone was inching away from. She glared
at Tigresss back, who hadnt even turned around to see the
commotion she caused, DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO GET HIS
DNA?!?!?!?!

Thats
the last we saw of Metaphor for a bit, charging like a bull after
Tigress, barely staying in her school form. I glanced around, half
wondering if anyone else had picked up on the fact one of our
friends dates just melted. Hego was the only one who looked
shocked.

Well,
that wasinteresting, he stated. He motioned past the ticket
table, Shall we? War Hawk nodded and, holding hands, they
proceeded. The other villainesses rounded up their dates and
gossiped.

I
told
her to go with Jack Hench. Even though hes a business man through
and through and has his eyes on the money, he makes a good product,
Artica said. Golden Arrow snorted.

Cheap
imitation clones. You get em with a mix of hydrogen, oxygen, and
carbon dioxide and theyre toast, Golden Arrow muttered.

If
only Drakken had listened that day like I had, we wouldve saved
some time, effort, and money NOT making poor Kim Possible clones.
What was the point of cloning her again? Why not try to clone someone
better,
and who wasnt me? Chuck Norris clones would be pretty frickin
epic

Shego!
I turned towards the caller of my name. Hego and War Hawk were behind
a corny tropical background, motioning me to come over. I hesitated
outside of the shot. Hego extended the arm not wrapped around Chloe
towards me, Come on. I wanna have both my girls in the picture,
I smirked.

Youre
disgusting, I muttered. Translated from Shego-brother-speak, it
means I love you.

We
were in position and the camera man was about to tell us to say
cheese when I felt someone move in beside me.

Excuse
me; can I help you? Hego asked. Golden Arrow stared at him.

Im
Shegos date. I should get to be in the shot, too.

Metaphor
stood beside War Hawk. Hego gave her a more questioning look.

I
just chased Tigress out of the dance. I should get kudos somehow,
she explained. Artica came up beside Golden Arrow and Hegos jaw
dropped open.

I
helped pick out the dress and your boutonniere, she said, fixing
herself.

Mischief
came in and plopped down on her knees in front of all of us. Hego
groaned.

And
whats your excuse? He asked. She turned and looked up at him
with puppy dog eyes, giving an impish grin.

Cause
Im coot, she said in a baby voice. Hego rolled his eyes, but
didnt try to shoo them. It came with the territory of dating a
villainess, and he knew theyd interfere eventually, he explained
later. Better it be in public with witnesses than behind closed doors
without.

Anyone
else? The photographer asked. We took a quick head count and then
shook our heads, Alright, say cheese!

Cheese!

Cheezits!

Human!

What?

Ah!

The
light buuuuuuuurns!

Banana
phone!

It
was over in a flash, literally. Hego glared at us all, he being the
only one who actually said cheese.

Is
it so much to ask for yall to be normal for five minutes?

Yes,
it is, Metaphor stated. I stared at him.

Normal
What is this normal you speak of? I asked, complete with air
quotes. He smirked.

It
has been awhile, hasnt it? He asked.

A
month later, when we got the photos back from the company, he found
each one of us and gave us a good chewing out. He was the only one
who looked normal; even War Hawk was half hunched over in laughter at
the bunny ears and silly faces the rest of us were pulling off. A
picture says a thousand words; well, Id say those thousand words
were divided between us all to describe our personalities. Because if
you look at them, you can see how goofy Mischief was and how
sarcastic Golden Arrow could be, Articas spite and Metaphors
laid back attitude. I know a thousand doesnt divide into 7
equally, Id give the remainders to the moment frozen forever, with
Hegos arm on War Hawks shoulder and her arm around his waist;
true love.

We
moved towards the dance floor, AKA: the gym. There was a bridge one
would have to cross over a blue paper, a blown-up alligator standing
guard. There were the occasional bunches of streamers and balloons,
but otherwise the decorating budget seemed to have been somewhat
frugal.

EVERYBODY!
DANCE! NOW! The song demanded, the first beats blaring out.
Mischiefs eyes widened.

Omg,
its my song!! She screamed, running into the gym. We laughed
and followed her, already hearing the squeaks and seeing the
stiff-arms-to-sides, jump-up-and-kick-together moves of Mischiefs
dance known as The Dolphin.

There
were too many moments to describe in detail. Such as the Good vs.
Evil dance-off between Mischief and Hego that occurred during
Everybody Dance Now that had us all wishing we didnt know
them and wondering who had taught Hego how to churn the butter.
By a majority vote, evil conquered good and Hego sulked in a corner
for awhile. Or the conga line that formed during an especially techno
song. Or the villainesses taking over, declaring me the queen of the
Sadie Hawkins dance and hijacking the music. Which lead, in turn, to
all of us dancing on stage while Mischief belted out Dancing With
Myself by Billy Idol perfectly, I playing a sweet air guitar while
head banging. Then I mosh-pitted.

Yeah,
some scenes are best not verbosely analyzed. I, somehow, still have
my dignity.

So,
after the take-over and the crowd of teenagers set me down, the
villainesses decided to resume the usual playlist. I could tell what
song was next by Mischiefs glances at me as she talked to Jesus. I
didnt need her sympathy, or Jesuss. Just cause he went with
one of my best friends, and I hadnt gotten a boy to come with me,
didnt mean I needed to take her slow dance. I slipped over the
moat and out of the gym before Jesus had the chance to ask me
Quieres bailar?.

Dr.
Lipsky looked bored out of his mind, doodling on a scratch piece of
paper. Apparently he wasnt a chaperone, just the ticket guy.

Having
fun? I asked him as I approached. He glanced up, startled.

Oh,
Shego, its just you. Why arent you with your friends? He
asked. I shrugged.

The
slow dance is coming up and my date and I are too straight to join
in. And one of my friends got a guilty conscious about stealing
the guy I like.

So,
typical high school stuff?

Yep.
Glad youre rid of it?

Never
got involved with it too much, being a nerd and all. My date
was a robot, but she broke down before we even got through the door.

Well,
was she cute? He laughed, shaking his head slightly. I giggled.

The
beginning notes began to play of the slow song. It wasnt pop or
rock, a random country song thrown in. I was sure the mainstream
people would like it; that is until they found out who sang it and
what genre it was. I reached for his hand.

Come
on, I said. He glanced up at me.

What?

Dance
with me, I asked/demanded. He got to his feet.

But,
but I dont know how!

Ill
teach you, I said. I guided his hands onto my hips and he blushed
scarlet.

Should,
should we be doing this? I, I mean Im your teacher!

Its
just a dance, Dr. L. Besides, Ill only be a minor for a year and
some odd days, I rested my hands on his shoulders, And now we
just sway back and forth.

Back
and forth? Thats it?

They
make it simple for the boys, Dr. Lipsky smiled; not one of his
creepy, super mega smiles, just a simple, human one. I found myself
smiling, too, swaying in time to the music.

Dr.
Lipsky tilted his head.

Ive
always liked this song, he remarked.

Yeah.
It fits, I said, listening to the lyrics.

And
I, Im glad I didnt know, the way it all would end, the way it
all would go-oo. Our lives are better left to chance, I couldnt
miss the pain that I would have to miss the-uhuh dance.

We
continued quietly dancing, he attempting to twirl me once, but I only
ended up stepping on his foot as he bumped into me. We both quickly
apologized and stopped dancing as the song ended.

I
turned as I heard someone coming. Down the opposite part of the hall,
Hego and War Hawk walked hand in hand away from the party. They
paused right before going outside.

You
know, I think this is the real deal, Hego confessed to War Hawk.
She smiled, reaching up and placing her hand on his cheek.

You
know what? I think so, too. So you wont mind if I say the l
word to you?

Only
if you dont mind if I tell you I love you, she giggled
and then, sweet and simple, they kissed.

I
turned to Dr. Lipsky, who looked amazed that I wasnt about to
pummel them. I grinned.

You
know how they say good always wins and evil never prospers? I
motioned to War Hawk, I think thats bull crap.

Its
been about five, six years since that night that, despite everything
that went wrong, actually turned out alright. Artica continued her
life of villainy, taking on a cover job as a skating instructor
at the local ice rink. Metaphor became a full-time thief after high
school, having to support her younger sister as well as her own
college education. Golden Arrow is sort of in limbo; shes tried to
get out of villainy but due to her connections, it never lasts long.
She works as a drill sergeant at a military school (yeah, I know,
terrifying), occasionally putting on the gloves for amateur fight
contests. Mischief, also known as Cassy Catt, is Go Citys most
popular radio talk show host, waking everyone up with her co-host
Joejoe Bean. Shes fine as long as she takes her medication for
kleptomania, but if she forgets to refill After spending some time
at Harvard, Tigress went into full time villainy as well, taking over
Go City quietly and under wraps, becoming one of the most successful
villainesses ever. Sucks, dont it? War Hawk reformed after moving
out of the Nest, going on to get her nursing degree and accepting a
position at Go City Hospital. And yes, shes still with my
knuckleheaded brother.

As
for me? Well, I joined Dr. Drakkens, I mean Lipskys, team as
his world domination dreams came to light. Got a degree in child
development between plans; thank goodness for online colleges. I
havent got my friends to stop the I told you sos to this
day. But hey, Im living proof of how predictable life can be.

Every
lesson I learned about life can be summed up in three words; it goes
on. It is good. It’s not fair. It’s too short. True love lasts.
Hate’s a disease. We need others. Tears dry up. Memories are sweet.
Do not regret. Laughter is great. God does exist. Hugs are amazing.
People are crazy. Hold on tight. Enjoy the ride.

El
Fin

Finally!
Am done, gonna go collapse *dies*. Pleasereview