Kim Possible Porn Story: Confessions of a Teenage Heroine Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I
only own my villainesses and Shego’s parents.

Apparently
someone had thought our soundtrack was a blank CD and had made a
party mix of it. “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?”
and the nun chant had been covered by the Macarena, “The Hills
Are Alive” were now alive with the sound of “Can’t Touch
This” by MC Hammer, Maria’s confidence song was now to the tune
of ACDC “Back in Black”, “I Am Sixteen Going on
Seventeen” was now Aerosmith’s “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”,
“Favorite Things” was now “Thriller” by the
infamous Michael Jackson, “The Lonely Goatherd Song” was
now “Funkytown” by Lipps Inc., the nerve-grating “Aidel
Vies” had thankfully been replaced by “Livin’ on a Prayer”
by my mom’s heartthrob Bon Jovi, the goodnight song was now “Bridge
Over Troubled Water” by Simon and Garfunkle, the song with
Captain VonTrapp and Maria was now “My Heart Will Go On”,
and “Climb Every Mountain” had turned into Aretha
Franklin’s “I Will Survive”.

“Don’t
think they had 80’s music during World War II,” Mischief stated
like Will Smith. Little Gretal rolled her eyes.

War
Hawk sank into the nearest chair.

“I
can’t do this,” she murmured. I sighed.

“Yes,
you can. It’s just a high school play, not the next big blockbuster.”

“I
can’t do this!” She exclaimed in panic. Metaphor rested her
small hand on War Hawk’s knee.

“Take
some deep breaths. You know your lines; we went through them just
this morning.”

“But,
my mind, when I panic, it pretty much shuts down. I’ll stand up there
like a mute and then, throw up, just like last spring! Metaphor, you
do it!”

“What
do you think I am, a Wego?! I can’t be two different VonTrapp
children in the same scene!”

“Okay,
fellow castmembers, let’s just go through it without the music,”
Hego decided. We all rolled our eyes, but got onto the stage,
ignoring the fact Mrs. White was in a corner sobbing and chanting,
“It just isn’t the same, the Sound of Music has to have music,
it just isn’t the same…”

The
rehearsal went without a hitch. Mischief hammed it up, dancing around
the stage and whatnot. Tigress was a quiet observer; still grinning
like a maniac as she recorded the practice, but quiet at least. I
managed to remember everything, and so did everyone else. But as the
VonTrapp children filed out for their new governess, it was obvious
Liesel was not up to her and her siblings’ usual mischief. Tigress
chuckled at War Hawk’s pale face and made kissy faces. I moved, but
Hego was quicker. His super strength was all that was keeping me from
tearing her to frickin’ shreds. Captain VonTrapp signaled Liesel over
and over with his whistle, but she did not step forward. She did not
say her name. Her eyes, like a terrified rabbit’s, held Tigress’s.
Her hand suddenly clamped over her mouth, her breathing becoming
irregular. She jumped off the stage and charged for the aisle.

Tigress
got up and blocked her path.

“Where
ya goin’, Chloe? You haven’t sucked face with Hego
yet,” she jeered.

“Get…outta…”
War Hawk gasped, trying to get around Tigress. Tigress wouldn’t let
her.

“What
was that?” She purred.

“Get…aw-ah!”
She meant “get away”, but it came out as something else.
The contents of War Hawk’s stomach projected out of her mouth and
onto a very, very surprised human-like feline. I believe that’s one
of the few times I ever heard Tigress scream bloody murder.

I.
Laughed. Hysterically. On the ground hysterically. Not the most
appropriate reaction to your best friend becoming violently ill
because of her nerves, but come on. That’s some good karma right
there. Through my tears of pleasure and the glares of all around me,
I watched War Hawk run out of the auditorium. A minute later, Hego
left the auditorium as well.

&&&

Everyone
was (were? Grammar isn’t my strong suit) running around like chickens
with their heads cut off. Mrs. White was in the middle of a
breakdown. It was pretty much up to me and the criminals to think up
something. I was tapping my foot to our new soundtrack.

“Whoever
did this doesn’t have bad taste in music,” Metaphor said, her
little legs swinging back and forth from the chair.

“Not
at all,” Mischief agreed like Lumier. I tilted my head
thoughtfully.

“Hey,
is it just me or could “hey, macerana” be replaced by
“where is Maria”?” They both kind of glanced at me,
and at first I thought I had just said the stupidest thing ever.

“That’s
pure genius,” Metaphor said, shock in her tone. Mischief grabbed
my arm.

“We
have to tell the others!” She exclaimed like a girl from a
horror movie.

So
Mischief drags me onto the stage, shoves me towards the distressed
crowd, and shouts, “SHEGO HAS AN IDEA!!!!” They stared at
me as I recovered from a large dose of Mischief enthusiasm.

“Um…just
rewrite the lyrics?” I was unceremoniously slapped upside the
head, “What?!”

“How
unpoetic!” Mischief admonished. She turned to the crowd, “My
fellow actors, stage crew, and play peeps. Before us is an obstacle
in the area of audio accompanyment and we either face it head on like
the imaginative folk we are, or we let it defeat us to our
embarrassment. Which shall it be? I know my option,” she turned
dramatically and headed backstage. I rolled my eyes, hearing the
ominous click of a pen. Mischief’s songs should be interesting.

Mischief
and I single handedly rewrote almost every song (since she had to
sing most of them). Once that was done, we went together with the
cast and crew and worked a little more on it. Metaphor looked at me
worriedly and I understood. First of all, could
we pull off new songs and routines? Second, who was going to fill in
for Liesel. I glanced around. Heck, who was going to fill in for
Rolfe? Why didn’t we have any understudies?!

“Can
you be three people at once? If you really try?” I asked her.
She stared at me.

“I’m
not Simile.”

The
auditorium doors opened.

“All
right, we’re in the auditorium. Can you give me my dignity back?”

“Depends.
You going to make a break for it?”

“…Yeah.”

War
Hawk squirmed from her pinned position over Hego’s shoulder, much
like when Shrek was carrying Princess Fiona back from the dragon’s
hold. She turned enough to see me.

“Shego,
make your brother put me down,” she whined.

“Liesel’s
trying to fly away,” he tattled.

“Rolfe,
get your hands off Liesel. Liesel, you fly and I shoot you down,”
I compromised. Hego unceremoniously dropped her. She huffed, getting
to her feet.

“And
that’s what you’re going to do in the gazebo scene,” he laughed
and smiled.

“I
promise
I won’t drop you, kay? Hero’s honor,” he held up his hand.
She smiled.

“I’m
holding that to you, Superman.”

It
was an oddly tender moment, or perhaps my brain was tricking me into
believing there was something to it. But it was time for costumes,
and everyone knows Liesel has a gentle curl. She trembled a little
and played with her hands, but wasnt as nervous as she had been
before.

Hego
came to me, she murmured softly.

Say
what? I asked, adjusting my habit.

When
I ran out afteryou know, he came into the girls bathroom and
comforted me, Metaphor snorted.

Yeah,
now youre going to tell me Articas going to Mexico in July this
summer, she got off her stool.

No,
really. He did. He was so sweet; kind of made up for everything hes
done. We talked for awhile while we rewrote the lyrics and there was
no hero talk.

Now
youre just talking crazy, I decided. War Hawk shook her head.

He
had a sweet moment. We all do,” she took a deep breath, “Oh
dear holy mackerel, I’m going to have a heart attack.”

“You’ll
be fine,” Metaphor assured her.

Mischief
burst into the room.

“WOOOOHHH!”
She shouted. She ran up to us, “WOOOOOOHHH! WOOOOOOHHHH!”

“What
the heck, Mischief?”

“WOOOOHHH!
WOOOOOHHH!”

“Wooh?”
I asked. She nodded and pumped her hands up encouragingly.

“WOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!”

“Wooohhhh!”

“WOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Woooohhh!”
She started jumping up and down. I followed her.

“WOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

“WOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

“WOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”
Metaphor said joining us. War Hawk laughed and then she joined.

WOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Float
like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Float like a butterfly, sting
like a bee, Mischief started chanting in Muhammad Alis voice.
We all joined in, still jumping up and down.

Float
like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Float like a butterfly, sting
like a bee. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee! FLOAT LIKE A
BUTTERFLY STING LIKE A BEE! We burst into a hysterical laughing
fit.

Mom
and Hego appeared in the doorway of the girls dressing room. We
looked at them and started laughing again.

Im
never going to understand girls, Hego whined. Mom laughed.

Come
on, girls. Were waiting on you, Mischief danced in place.

Im
ready, Im ready, Im ready, Im ready, she sang like
Spongebob Squarepants, following Mom towards the stage. Metaphor and
I followed, War Hawk lagging behind. Just as I was going to take her
hand, Hego ducked behind me and wrapped his arm gently around her
shoulders. She turned into him, Mischiefs momentary distraction
from her nerves wearing off.

Stage
crew was running around, setting up the abbey set first which,
reversed, was turned into the mountain. Those stage people are
clever, arent they? I took a deep breath and squeezed War Hawks
hand.

Good
luck, she murmured, her voice even shaking. I smirked.

No,
thats bad luck, silly. You want me to break my leg, she laughed
weakly.

So,
villain speak is also stage speak?

I
guess, the nuns were beginning to get in line without me. I
squeezed her hand again, Ive gotta go. Itll be fine; youve
got nothing left to barf up, right? I jogged off, unable to
reassure her I was joking.

Just
in time, the curtains rose to the dimly lit stage. In a single file
line, we stood, stiffly walking forward. The unmistakable first
techno notes of the Macarena came over the speakers. As the first two
approached the front of the stage, they both veered dramatically in
opposite directions, their hands still in that perfect
pressed-together prayer position. As Gabriella and I approached, I
went right and she went left. We were all in a straight horizontal
line and in unison, we all asked in tune to the song, Where is
Maria? Which tells you just about how corny this whole musical
was.

I
was glad to duck backstage after we were through, applause and the
stage crew running around behind me. Whose great idea was it to go
through with this?

Then,
Mischief got on the stage. She began to dance eccentrically to the
music, skipping this way and gyrating that way. A ripple of laughter
went through the audience as they were exposed to my friends
antics. Then, in perfect timing with MC Hammers karaoke version,
she started to sing the most memorable verse of the entire
production, the only one I really remember.

The,
the, the mountainside is so pretty. Makes me feel oh-so giddy. Thank
you, God, for blesin me. Rather be here than the old abbey. It
feels niiice up in the forest. A change of scenry from the old
church. And I know, Im dead. But this is a scene, uh, ya cant
compare, Im sure no other white person could even attempt to
sing as fast as Mischief, and rappers would have to practice. A lot.

The
play, amazingly, went without a hitch. Even as Liesel went onstage,
there was no sign of her panic. She looked Frauline Maria right in
the eyes, her stance hard and rebellious, and said frankly, Im
Liesel and I dont need a governess. I was standing next to
Hego, and saw his shock at her transformation from I cant do
this to Screw you, Maria!. Gears were turning in his head as
he watched War Hawk and, for once, I wasnt sure what he was
thinking.

Then,
the scene we had all been waiting for came. Hego and War Hawk glanced
at each other nervously, quickly wishing for the other to break their
legs. War Hawk went out first and sat on the bench, waiting for her
Nazi telegram man. Conversation was exchanged, and then they launched
into their version of an Aerosmith classic. Mischief, Metaphor, and I
were not listening to the lyrics, grasping each other and
constricting like hungry boas. We watched their flirtatious dance,
ducking behind the tree, skirting the bench. They moved into the
gazebo and War Hawk jumped effortlessly from bench to bench. Hego
spun her around and, as promised, did not drop her.

There
was a pause at the end of the dance, as they stared at each other.
War Hawk looked confused, just as were we. What was Hego waiting for?
Then, his eyes widened in an epiphany. He grabbed her by the
shoulders, picking her clear off the ground. He then ducked his head
and War Hawks lips met his. They kissed, both willing, short and
sweetly.

He
set her down and ran offstage, blushing. War Hawk stared after him,
stunned into silence. She opened her mouth, then closed it, then
opened it, then closed it, looking much like a dried-up fish trying
to breathe air. She stumbled back until she hit one of the benches,
and then sank down. Everything was silent as we waited on Liesel to
say or do something. It was still for a moment more before she spoke.

He,
he just kissed me, she said, incredulous. The audience laughed and
applauded.

Whered
Hego go? I hissed, glancing around.

Away
from us. You think after that hed want to face his sister and War
Hawk’s friends after that?
Metaphor pointed out. War Hawk slowly made her way off stage.

He
actually did it, she murmured.

Dont
lose your head, girl. We still got the rest of the play to go,
Mischief reminded her like Wanda Sykes. War Hawk shook her head.

Youre
right.

Heck,
it was going to be hard for me
to concentrate. That strange expression on Hegos face clearly
stated he wasnt just acting. He hid from sight, magically
appearing on stage whenever Rolfe was needed. We received a standing
ovation as the play ended and we all took our bows together. War Hawk
held Hegos firmly, her body language clearly stating we need to
talk.

The
ladies room was stormed minutes later by Golden Arrow and Artica.
They smothered us with compliments and congratulations, just like any
true friend. Then, Golden Arrow turned seriously to Mischief.

Your
dad and your siblings are here. And Daine the Hurricane, A quiet
reverence settled among the rest of us, while Mischief simply replied
with a coolio.

Daine the Hurricane was a legend amongst heroes and villains. No one
knew what side she was on, but she was always clever and always did
the right thing. She was six years older than us, and she had been
our role model for as long as any of us had known her. She was the
real-life Motorcycle Boy and Mischief was Rusty James (if you dont
get that reference, read Rumble Fish by S. E. Hinton; if Mego
likes a book you know its good).

Come
along. We mustnt keep them waiting, Mischief urged like Mrs.
Potts.

Mischiefs
father and sister were casually talking to my mom, the rest of
Mischiefs stepsiblings running around nearby. Daine the Hurricane
and Mr. Catt both had dark red hair, hazel eyes and smiles that were
too big to fit on their faces. Mr. Catt looked very normal,
clean-shaven and in a bright yellow button up shirt and jeans. Daine
the Hurricane had on black fishnet gloves that went to her elbows, a
black shirt with a four leaf clover that said Kiss me, Im
Irish, black jeans with chains hanging off of them, patchwork
converse with a strip of duct tape or two, and her signature gold
bangles, about two dozen per arm. Daine the Hurricane spotted
Mischief and they both lit up.

I
was wondering when youd show your face, Missy! She teasingly
scolded. Mr. Catt broke off mid-sentence, looking towards her.

Mademoiselle
Prima Donna! You have come to grace us with your immaculate
presence! He boomed, bowing. Mischief pirouetted and then skipped
over, pouncing on him. They laughed and Daine the Hurricane joined
in. The stepsiblings came running up, either congratulating her or
demanding her attention. Mom backed away, respecting their privacy
(I use the term lightly with the Catt family).

We
all had different reactions to the scene. Golden Arrow smiled warmly,
in a thats nice, but not for me way. Metaphor began scanning
the room for her sister, and Artica rolled her eyes. War Hawk was
looking at me.

Are
you thinking about your dad? She asked. I shrugged.

Not
really, I lied, Just kind of thinking about how it seems that
crime runs in the family. Artica with her brother, Golden Arrow and
Tigress with their adopted family, you with your dad Only ones not
affected are Metaphor and I, but Metaphors doing it for
her sister.

“So
you do give into the rumor?” The rumor being that the Catts were
actually a part of an underground mafia in Go City, Mr. Catt being
the Godfather. I shrug.

“I
don’t know. No one’s confessing to anything, so it’s hard to say.”
Daine the Hurricane glanced over at me thoughtfully. My stomach
dropped and my friends froze.

Youre
going to be one of the best villains, Her saying that was like
Chuck Norris saying that you were going to be one of the best
fighters.

Little
creepy how, looking back, it came true.

Articas
brother came up and stole her, as did Metaphors sister. Mischief
migrated with her family, and Mom went to locate the rest of my
brothers. Golden Arrow, War Hawk, and I all sat on the stage.

Can
I ride home with you? Golden Arrow asked War Hawk. She looked at
her curiously.

Sure,
I thought you were riding with Tigress?

She
took off after Daine the Hurricane snubbed her, My eyebrows
raised.

Daine
the Hurricane snubbed Tigress? Im sure that took her ego down
several notches, I said. Golden Arrow smirked.

“Yeah,
and I noticed your mom was hanging with Daine the Hurricane and
Mr. Catt. And she actually acknowledged
you,” Golden Arrow pointed out, “I think our little hero
has an “in”.”

“Come
on, Goldie. It’s not going to happen,” War Hawks head jerked
towards the aisle and we looked.

Hego
was walking towards them, his eyes for War Hawk. He glanced with
trepidation at Golden Arrow and me.

Dont
suppose you two would leave us alone? He tried. We shook our
heads.

I
want to hear what youve got to say to her, I said. He took a
minute to weigh his options, and then decided we were going to find
it out later from War Hawk.

I
get it now, he said with a laugh. War Hawk arched an eyebrow. Hego
rubbed the back of his neck, When I saw how nervous you were
before, and how you instantly snapped out of it when going onstage
It put the villain thing into perspective, she smiled.

You
just now got it? She jumped off the stage and motioned for Golden
Arrow to follow. She patted Hegos arm, Then again, you are
Shegos brother.

Hey!
I objected. She and Golden Arrow laughed.

See
ya, War Hawk said shyly to Hego. He waved goodbye. I jumped off
the stage, grinning widely.

You
ki-issed her, I sang. He rolled his eyes.

Shut
up. Its called acting; learn how to do it, nun.

That
wasnt acting, Nazi. You grabbed her and picked her up off the
ground to kiss her, Mom called for us before we could continue the
discussion.

Two
things happened that night while I slept. First of all, Golden Arrow
got some footage from Tigress and broadcast to the world on Youtube
that their favorite black-and-green superheroine was taking a second
job as a nun, finally satisfying her need for revenge after the
Aurora incident. No one can hold a grudge longer than a female
villain. Second, my cell phone switched positions on my nightstand. I
have witnesses; I dont move things around in my sleep or
sleepwalk.

I
want a confession, I hissed.

Shego,
the Mathter is probably in control of half the super computers in the
world by now. Just start up the jet, Hego muttered.

Not
until I know who the heck was messing with my cell phone.

It
was me.

Nice
try, Wego 2. But dont take the blame for the sins of the brother,
I glared at Mego.

I
swear on my computers life, I did not touch your frickin cell
phone, he stated.

It
was me, Hego mumbled. I looked at him. Mr. Honor was taking my
stuff without asking? This was a first. He looked rather guilty, not
even turning towards me, I needed a number.

Whose?

Its
not important.

It
is if you want out of the hanger.

Chloes,
all right?! He shouted. We were all stunned into silence, What?
You arent going to rank on me?! Arent you going to shove it in
my face and mock me?!

Hego

Justgo,
he seethed.

The
mission was awkward. The spat had thrown us out of sync, and the
Mathter caught on to that quickly. It took us quicker to get caught
and longer to get out than usual. Hego was silent.

I
knocked on his door after the mission (and a couple hours to cool).

Come
in, he said. I opened the door and he minimized whatever he was
doing on his computer.

Hey,
I murmured. He turned to me.

Hey,
I sat down on his bed, one leg tucked underneath me. He swiveled
around in his desk chair to face me.

Guess
Ive crossed a line, havent I? He folded his arms and arched
an eyebrow, Multiple lines?

You
have a visa on the other side of the line, he shrugged, I kind
of was a little sensitive.

What
gives? Hego sighed, shaking his head, I dont know. I just
she was the enemy for so long, and thats all she was. Now I
dont know what she is, he looked me in the eyes, Were
going to start with friendship, and wed appreciate it if certain
individuals would shut their yaps until were both on more solid
terms, Pure teasing gold. Friendshipsure But I zipped my lip
and smirked.

Whatever.

It
would have been a tender understanding/realization moment, except for
Mego announced that it was time for Hegos round two with making
out with the enemy.

An
agonizing week passed as we all put War Hawk and Hego underneath a
microscope, analyzing their every action. They were well aware,
however; giving nothing past the friendship level of PDA. But there
were other things that distracted us. First of all, Sadie Hawkin’s
was less than a month away, which meant we were all trying to get
dates. Getting dates could be complicated with girls, what with the
“who’s with who” and the girl laws of ex-boyfriends. We had
made a decision as a group; if you dump him, he’s fair game. Cut out
a lot of confusion and “backstabbing”.

As
it stood right then, only a couple of us had dates. Tigress, no
doubt, had already selected the cream of the crop. Golden Arrow
firmly abstained from the dance, since it stood for all she hated;
men, being forced into the stereotypical female role, and dressing up
like a pageant participant. Mischief had Jesus, and War Hawk was
trying to get the guts to ask Hego (maybe we hoped). Artica,
Metaphor, and I were all looking. And as if things weren’t
complicated enough in figuring out which boys were fair game to the
rest of the student population without stepping on anyone’s toes, a
new fad had emerged.

Animology.

AKA:
the stupidest test ever conquered up. Seriously, this thing is
supposed to tell you your personality and who your soul mate is. It’s
crazy and addicting.

“A
movie I wanted to see is closed down. What would I do?” I
murmured to myself.

“Demand
to see the movie!” Mischief thundered like Scar, coming to our
lunch table where I was filling out my workbook.

“Not
an option” I muttered, “It really depends on the movie and
how bad I want to go see it. If I didn’t want to see it that bad, oh
well, go to another movie, but if I was really counting on it”

“Don’t
take it that seriously. It’s just a stupid quiz,” Metaphor came
next, Artica beside her. Artica laughed.

“You’re
just mad because you’re a Pink Sloth.”

“Like
a Bronze Goat is so much better. Only think of self?” Metaphor
pointed out. She turned to me, “Do I smell like overripe fruit
to you?” I pursed my lips.

“Overripe?
No. But you do have a certain fruity odor about you. When did you
guys take it?”

“During
class,” Artica responded as they both sat down with their trays.
I rolled my eyes.

“It
would be crazy to actually pay attention” I looked at
Mischief, “You finish?”

“I’m
a lavender cheetah. I go fast!” Mischief said like the cute
older brother from Stuart Little.

“You
also do things immediately without stopping to think and bad things
occur to you,” Metaphor said. Golden Arrow came up with a
booklet in her hand.

“You’re
not done, either?” I asked hopefully.

“Yeah,
I finished. I’ve just been looking through the profiles. I’m a Beige
Raccoon, always unsure of myself and quite smart. Also sarcastic,”
she announced proudly.

“Wait
a minute, you’re a Beige Raccoon? I’m a Bronze Goat,” Artica
said. Golden Arrow arched an eyebrow.

“We
conflict?” Metaphor pointed her finger at them.

“Again,
stupid quiz.”

“Don’t
be a spoil sport. Being a Pink Sloth isn’t that bad; you’re just
socially inept, an outcast, lowest of them all, and smell of overripe
fruit.”

“I
do not smell like overripe fruit!”

Golden
Arrow pointed across the cafeteria and everyone shut up. Hego was
heading towards War Hawk to say hi. War Hawk, though, just walked
right past him without even a glance. Hego (and us, for that matter)
were shocked.

“What’s
with the stiff?” I asked as she sat down beside me. She had a
guilty expression on her face.

“He
wants to go to the next level,” she admitted. We all stared at
her.

“CHLOE!”
We exclaimed in unison. She flinched.

“I
know, I know. This is exactly what I wanted. But I’ve been trying
so hard for so long, and he just makes up his mind and that’s that?
It doesn’t seem fair to just give my heart away like that,” The
other girls gave sinister grins.

“War
Hawk, who knew you were actually evil?”
Artica said, shocked.

“How
far do you think he’ll go to get you?” Metaphor asked.

“What’s
your sign?” Mischief asked like Oprah. War Hawk smiled. A
question she was safe to answer.

“Silver
Badger,” Metaphor grinned.

“Soul
mates,” she teased. War Hawk high-fived her. Golden Arrow held
out her palm to Artica.

“Pay
up; I guessed right,” I looked at them in amazement. Did they do
any work
in class?

Everyone’s
eyes widened to the size of UFOs and yet again, I wondered what was
behind my back.

“Um,
can I sit here, please?” I spun around and my jaw dropped.

Hego
stood with his lunch tray, looking rather uncomfortable as he faced
six of his worst enemies. Golden Arrow turned to Artica.

“Hey,
Bronze Goat, you visited the underworld lately?”

“No,
Beige Raccoon, why?”

“I
believe hell just froze over,” Hego sighed.

“I
know we’re not on the best of terms”

“That’s
putting it mildly,” Artica said bitterly, “You’ve put all
of us in jail at least once.”

“In
his defense, he accidentally shut me in the cell and I had to wait
overnight for the guard to come with the keys,” I spoke up.

Mischief
gave a flirty look to Hego and then motioned to the seat next to War
Hawk.

“There
you see her. Sitting there across the way. She don’t got a lot to
say, but there’s something about her,” she sang softly, sounding
like someone just started playing “The Little Mermaid”
soundtrack.

“Mischief!”
War Hawk hissed. Mischief leaned forward, resting her chin on her
folded hands, looking lovingly up at Hego.

“And
you don’t know why but you’re dying to try. You want tokiss de
girl.”

It
was enough to remind everyone of War Hawk. We needed to support her
and Hego’s blossoming love, no matter how much we hated him. They all
gave their reluctant consent, and then treated him as if he didn’t
exist.

“So,
what’s your sign?” Hego asked War Hawk. She ignored him.

He
looked helplessly at me and I gave him an apologetic smile. I
couldn’t help him out now; he’d have to prove himself to her on his
own. Meanwhile, we’d all just laugh about Tigress’s fury at her
results; she was a red weasel, an extreme know-it-all but not
perfect, noisy and far from hard working.

&&&

“What
the heck?” I grumbled, squinting at my results.

“What’d
you get?” Hego asked, second to come to the team room.

“I
don’t know. I’m stuck between two personalities. I’m either a
lavender cheetah or a bronze goat.”

“And
you don’t lean more towards one way or the other?” He asked,
taking my Animology booklet and flipping to the profiles in the back,
“Let’s see. On one side is the lavender cheetah; Fastest of all,
you sometimes do things immediately without stopping to think. Bad
things occur to you. Well, thats true. Now, the bronze goat;
hard-working only think of self very clever often
self-confident. Nope, not you. Youre about as hard-working as a
dead slug and about as clever as a gnat, I glared at Hegos
grinning face.

Love
you, too, Eventually, the twins came in and then a fuming Mego.

YELLOW
TROUT?! IT DOESNT SOUND ANYTHING LIKE ME! He glared down at the
booklet and then quoted it in an exaggerated nasally voice, You
are extremely self-centered and only think of yourself. You are also
very whiny and annoying to others, but you are able to get away with
it. Aside from that, you have slow reactions, except when you’re in
love. He threw the booklet down, Stupid quiz.

Wait,
youre a yellow trout? Hego asked, his eyes widening. Mego
glared at him.

The
answers that I put into a questionably designed entertainment
activity pointed me to that conclusion, yes, Hego threw my booklet
like a Frisbee, denting the wall.

If
my soul mate is ANYTHING like Mego, then Animology sucks! Mego
looked horrified.

Youre
a blue fox?! He exclaimed.

From
the born leader and driven to excel to being a perfectionist and
unable to resist a challenge, Hego agreed bitterly. I turned to
the twins.

So,
we begin the meeting with a reminder that Avarius is striking
tomorrow. Cast your bets for what his plot is this time.

It
always cracks me up when I remember that Kims a blue fox. Anyway,
Wego 1 won the bet; penguin torpedoes set to destroy the worlds
largest ports, unless his demands were met. Someone was watching too
many cartoons when they doodled that on the idea board.

Hego was beginning to get irritated with War Hawk, who was actually
acting like a hench girl and trying to stop him. Every time wed
try to get near the control pad to disable the penguidoes (have I
mentioned lately that villains have incredible imaginations when it
comes to epic lameness?), shed flit down and cut us off. Not even
the twins were getting through and frankly, it was a bit annoying
after twenty minutes of this and Avariuss background cackle.

Chloe,
War Hawk, whichever one you are Hego started. She ignored him
and he snatched her arm before she could head towards a shrunken down
Mego. She glared at him, irritated, Come on. You havent talked
to me all day today or yesterday. Can you just tell me what I did?
Was I coming on too strong? She simply tried to get away. He
growled and looked at me. I tossed my arms up.

I
hate girl code! He seethed.

Ow!
War Hawk protested. He loosened his grip on her.

Sorry,
her arm slipped right out and she laughed, War Hawk! He roared,
his cheeks flushing in embarrassment from the trick.

She
flipped backwards and neatly roundhouse-kicked Mego back into the
twins, killing two birds with one stone (Great, Ive been in the
villain business so long now Im
doing puns.) She swooped back to Hego and her villainess mask peeled
back, revealing a more sympathetic girl.

Hego,
youre a great friend. But in order to be my boyfriend, you need to
steal my heart. I want a man whose going to fight for me, he
stared, baffled at her.

Im
a superhero. How much more do I need to prove myself?

Fight
for me, not with me, she danced to the side, inconspicuously
taking his hand and squeezing it before going to take care of the
rest of my brothers.

He
stood there, completely doped, until I threw a green blast at his
feet. He glanced at me.

High
school drama can wait; Liverpool needs you, I urged. He charged up
beside me and together, we made a run towards the control panel.

Shego,
you know I dont get cryptic girly talk. Decode it for a boy to
understand, I stared at him.

How
much simpler does she need to put it? Shes been fighting for you
to notice her; she wants you to step up to the plate. Fight for her,
not with her.

War
Hawk noticed our advancement and tackled me. I sighed; he would have
caught her if he hadnt been so busy trying to figure out
what she was saying.

You
know, I think it was easier on me when you two werent
friends, I complained. She smiled.

Its
your fault, she teased.

&&&

Well,
things couldnt get any worse on the high school front. This stupid
Animology craze was making guys hallucinate; they were looking for
matches, not dates. And to a bronze cheetah or a lavender goat, which
I figured I was, there were no other hybrids to hook up with. And,
strange for the guy universe, this actually mattered. A lot. Metaphor
was having the worst luck; no one wanted to go with a pink
sloth and there were
no silver badgers on campus. Really, youd think she got the
plague. Luckily, Metaphor wasnt hung up on dating or social life.
She had her friends, and she figured shed find the right guy once
the time was right.

Single
Awareness Day dawned, and depression hit me like a punch in the gut.
One of my New Years resolutions was to have a boyfriend by now.
Frickin hybrid. When I finally got the energy to go to school,
where flowers and chocolates rained down in a sea of love and high
school sweetheartiness, I noticed my truck was gone. I rolled my
eyes. Very funny, girls. Ill find out who did it and hunt them
down.

Everything
seemed like usual when we first got there; I met up with War Hawk and
we went to her locker. But when she opened it, a cascade of flowers
came out. She gasped.

Cherry
blossoms, my favorite. But who? She looked at me and I shook my
head.

Love
you, but I dont even know where to get these things at this time
of year, I then grinned, Looks like you have a secret admirer.

Shut
up, she said, picking them up and setting them back into her
locker.

I
glanced up. Tigress was absolutely seething, her eyes on fire as she
glared at War Hawk.

I
got to science relatively early. Dr. Lipsky glanced up at me with a
smile.

Happy
Valentines Day, he greeted. I snorted.

Guess
you havent heard. Im single, he smiled.

Then
its Appreciation of Being Single Day to you, I rolled my eyes.

Yeah,
because Im really happy to be single atop of my disastrous social
life, especially heading towards the spring season. Who knows? Maybe
I can take my brother to the prom! Of course, this drew a couple
of stares from students just entering. He chuckled.

Being
in a relationship isnt all its cracked up to be. Just enjoy
being single.

So
says the 40-year-old whose never been kissed, I snarled, taking my
seat.

It
was boring; all we did was watch a stupid movie. Dr. Lipsky was
fiddling with something the entire period, though I couldnt figure
out what.

Dont
forget your lab journals! He called as the bell rang. I snatched
mine and headed down the hall.

I
looked to see what I got; the score sheet was usually tucked into the
back. A sheet of paper fell out and I picked it up. A rose that
looked more like a piece of bamboo in a splatter of red paint was
scribbled on, a square piece of Dove chocolate held on precariously
by one lone piece of tape. In his crab hand, it read Anyone could
settle for someone. It takes a true woman and lady to wait for a man
whose worthy of her. The only reason you are single, Shego, is
because no man has been able to rise to your standards yet.

I
tease Dr. D a lot about him being the reason Im not dating. He
thinks its because Im caught up in my work; its really
because of that valentine he sent me all those years ago with those
rare inspiring words. I think I still have it in my room somewhere
Anyways, nowadays most girls would turn him in for that, but anyone
who knows Drew Lipsky knows he meant nothing inappropriate by it.
Just trying to help in his awkward, usually ineffective way.

By
the time lunch rolled around, War Hawk had found several stanzas
hidden inside of her books. They came in order and, as she
discovered, they were in the style of her favorite poem, Annabel
Lee by Edgar Allan Poe. She wordlessly passed the arranged stanzas
to me, and I read them aloud to our table.

Not
a many year ago, in a city by the sea. A maiden there lived of whom
you may know, by the alias of War Hawk. And this villain, she lived
with little other thought, than to love and be loved by me. I was a
child, and she was a child, in this city by the sea. And she loved
with a love that was deep in heart, mine and my War Hawk. With a love
that the winged angels of heaven envied her and she. And this was the
reason that, recently, in this city by the sea, a heart melted into
the palm of my beautiful War Hawk. So that her stubborn hero fell for
the beautiful War Hawk. To the surprise of her fellows, in this city
by the sea. The angels, not half as happy in heaven, went hating her
and me. Yes! This must be the reason (as all men know, in this city
by the sea), that the hand of fate dealt to me, my faithful and evil
War Hawk. But our love proved stronger by far than the love of those
who were truer than we, and of many far wiser than we. And neither
the angels in the heavens, nor the demons beneath the sea, can ever
sever my soul from the soul of my beautiful War Hawk. For the sun
never shines without bringing me thoughts of my soft-hearted War
Hawk. And the moon never rises without the image of her irises, the
lavender of War Hawk. And so, all the midnight, I sit down and write,
of my darling, my darling, my love and my dear. In the Nest there by
the sea, in her room by the whispering sea.

Granted,
he slightly mangled one of the greatest love poems of all time, and
hes not a poet in the least, nor is War Hawks name as rhythmic
as Annabel Lee. But dear god, the boy tried! And after all that time
of smacking our foreheads and yelling until our throats bled at the
both of them, this was looking like Shakespeare. There were a couple
of watery eyes, and several hands-over-mouths-in-shock, and everyone
was stuttering disbelievingly. War Hawk was actually the most
composed of us; not stuttering, not covering her mouth, not even
watery eyed. She just looked amazed. And happy. The quiet
sufferings of her crush and the painful blows of rejection were
finally over. She was free to love without fear.

Alas,
as we all know, peace and happiness last about as long as rainbows.
Tigress was amazingly perceptive, and probably wondering why no one
was speaking at our table, and scared to death of whatever was
causing the apocalypse of Artica wiping tears from her eyes. Before I
could get out of Shock State, she snatched up the poem.

We
watched as her emotions went from confusion, to disbelieving, to
shock, to anger as the poem progressed. Her smoldering eyes turned to
War Hawk, her voice cold and sharp like a knife left in the snow.

Flirting,
I understand. The thrill of the cat-and-mouse relationship, sure.
What villainess, let alone any girl, hasnt dreamed of a hero to
ride up and save her, to gallop off into the sunset on a white horse,
your arms around his waist? But this, this The thunderous sound
of ripping paper came as she stated every word, tearing up Hegos
effort and War Hawks joy, Villains. Do. Not. Fall. In. Love.
With. Super. Heroes. It. Never. Lasts.

War
Hawk shot out of her seat, her small frame toe-to-toe with Tigresss
well-developed muscles. Her chin trembled a little as she fought back
tears, her little hands balled into fists.

And
what would you know about love? She barked. Tigress stared at War
Hawk like one would stare at a teacher as they were lecturing. She
tore the pieces of the poem out of Tigresss hands, and Tigress
glanced down as though surprised to see they werent there anymore.

I
know more about love than most 30-year-old housewives, she stated,
her eyes turning back to War Hawk. It seemed as though the fury had
somehow transferred between the two girls.

Oh
really? Because love is all about stabbing everyone in the back just
so you can be first, isnt it?! Its about getting what you want
and using those around you, then throwing them away when theyre no
longer useful, isnt it?! Love isnt sex, Tigress, and it sure as
heck isnt found while sleeping around!

No
one had ever seen War Hawk so angry. Heck, no one had ever seen her
stand up to Tigress. And to basically call her a slut? She was
suicidal.

Tigress
had the look of a cat who doesnt understand why youre cooing to
it or trying to play with it. It clearly said, What are you doing?
Do I look
like I care?

War
Hawk gave a bitter laugh, wiping the tears from her eyes.

You
know why youre trying to stop me and Hego? Because you always
want what you cant have, The cafeterias din was turning into
a murmur as people began to take notice of the scene. The girls and I
braced ourselves as Tigresss stare turned back into a vicious,
bloodthirsty flame.

Are
you suggesting that Im jealous of you?
Her words ended in a barely suppressed rumble, borderline growl.

No.
I know youre jealous, The accusation drove Tigress towards War
Hawk. War Hawk backed up, but didnt back down, Youre never
going to have a white picket fence at the rate youre going. You
dont care enough to have what I have. All you care about when it
comes to others is that theyre miserable. You thrive on other
peoples misery, and you cant stand
to see them happy. Youre going to end up alone and suffering at
this rate. Guess you cant help being brought up in greed and hate;
you didnt choose to be Miss Mistresss daughter.

The
very mention of Miss Mistress in a negative connotation set her off.
With a wildcat snarl, Tigress dove at War Hawk. Expecting this, she
danced out of the way. The students all began to cheer.

Fight!
Fight! Fight! They screamed, forming a loose ring around them. We
stood up, ready to dive in.

It
was over before it had even started. War Hawk made a couple of lucky
dodges, but her wings werent the same as Tigresss heritage. Her
animal instincts were well developed, and War Hawk didnt have a
trace of bird sense. She ran out of room and Tigress lunged for her.
Before I could blink, the crowd went silent. War Hawks throat was
in Tigresss mouth. She went limp, her eyes wide with fear. Tigress
was still, her canines gently digging into War Hawks carotid
artery and vein. I jolted towards her, but Golden Arrow caught my
arm.

Just
give her a minute, she urged. She was right, of course; anything
we did could set Tigress off and kill War Hawk. But it was agonizing,
being so helpless.

Like
a possessed freight train, Hego forced himself through the crowd. We
didnt have time to warn him before he ripped Tigress off of her
and tossed her aside. She didnt seem to be of this world; her eyes
distant as she got up. War Hawk put a hand to her throat and then
looked at it. She was bleeding.

Its
just a scratch. She didnt bite in, she assured us as we crowded
around her. The rest of the student population left, disappointed. We
then turned our rage on Hego.

You
couldve killed her! Artica shrieked. Hego looked surprised.

But
I saved her.

If
you wouldve given Tigress time, she wouldve let go of War Hawk
by herself, Golden Arrow seethed.

And
how do you know?! Hego turned to me, You told me to fight for
her!

I
didnt say fight her battles!

Guys,
guys, settle down, War Hawk insisted, Its my fault. I
shouldve have-

Dont
even, Metaphor stated. The bell rang and we all went our separate
ways.

Guess
Hego hadnt learned his lesson yet.

&&&

One
more Valentines Day gift awaited War Hawk as she went out to her
car; a giant stuffed panda with a heart around its neck in the
passengers seat. Unfortunately, the criminal had no knowledge of
lock picking, and accidentally ripped the door off of its hinges. If
Golden Arrow hadnt accidentally signed up for that welding class
freshman year, our group would be so screwed.

Hego
was discouraged by the rebuke after the scrap, trying to figure out
how to fight for her without actually fighting for
her. I couldnt adequately explain it to him; it was nearly an
analogy that you couldnt unravel from its deep context. God knows
Im not a teacher.

The
next day was uneventful. Sure, events were happening all around me;
Hego kept trying and Tigress was plotting something. As far as my
events, there were none to speak of. Until science.

Dr.
Lipsky was ranting about something no one cared about when he
stopped, looking at the door. Everyone glanced up in near unison, so
I figured Id glance up as well.

Can
I help you, Mrs. Go? Dr. Lipsky asked politely. She smirked.

I
just need to grab this one, she inclined her head towards me, She
wont be coming back.

Yes!
I gathered my things faster than the Flash on crack while my peers
glared enviously at me. I gave a gloating smirk and a mocking salute
to Dr. Lipsky, who looked like he wanted to retaliate. He probably
would have made a sarcastic comment about how glad he was she was so
engaged in his lecture, had his boss not been standing 5 feet away.
He simply gave me a small wave and turned back to his class.

Mom
gave me a knowing smile.

Boring
class today?

You
have no idea.

Was
it important?

Probably,
I admitted. She took a deep breath.

Have
you heard the news yet?

What
news?

Good;
it hasnt spread yet. I need you to take War Hawk once I tell her;
I dont want her going alone. Hego already took your truck-

How
did he get my keys?

Darling,
do you think I was going to give you a vehicle and not have a spare
key just in case?

Hes
driving illegally? Is someone dying?

Dont
joke.

We
came up to War Hawks classroom and Mom called her out. She glanced
worriedly between me and my mom.

“Is
something wrong, Mrs. Go?” She asked. Mom motioned for us to
follow her.

“Yes,
but it’s not school-related,” she took a deep breath, “A
fire started in the Go City prison. You can see the smoke from here.
Most of the prisoners have been evacuated.”

War
Hawk looked worriedly at me. We had just put Avarius away yesterday,
and the only reason War Hawk was here was because he had insisted she
couldnt miss more school.

“Turn
your cell phones on; I know you’ve got them despite school rules.
Hego’s been sent ahead and he’ll call if he sees your dad,” Like
that helped her nerves any.

Her
fingers fumbled as she reached for the keys, her every move strained
and anxious. When she finally got them out, I snatched them from her.

“I’ll
drive,” I said firmly. She didn’t object.

Mom
was right; you could see the pillars of smoke even from the school
parking lot miles away. I racked my brain for explanations as I
started up the Pimp Mobile. Fact was, explanations didn’t change a
thing. War Hawk didn’t so much as comment on my hairpin turns and
dangerous traffic decisions. Once we got to the back roads, she told
me to speed up. Tickets were her last concern right now.

The
Go City prison is located inside the peculiar and quite unexplained
mountain range that blocks Go City off from the rest of the world.
It’s to protect the citizens, but they overlooked the fact that 90%
of the villains’ lairs were in the mountains, too. We made it there
in record time and as we stepped out, we noticed the chaos. Prison
guards trying to keep prisoners under control. Wardens doing roll
call and loading them like cattle into police vans. Paramedics
looking over some who appeared to have inhaled too much smoke. Fire
fighters working their hoses over the flames. It was crazy to say the
least.

War
Hawk went into the throng of prisoners that hadn’t been locked in the
vans yet, asking around. I followed her with a slight cringe; the
other villains didn’t know about my friendship with some of their
peers, but they knew that Team Go was responsible for putting them in
there. I asked the ones that War Hawk missed about Avarius, but they
just gave me the cold shoulder.

A
hand clamped down on my shoulder and I jumped, turning around. It was
only Hego, fully dressed in his Team Go uniform.

“Shego,
I need you to keep Chloe back,” he said, his face stern.

“Have
you found Avarius?”

“He’s
still inside,” he started towards the prison. My eyes widened.

“Hego,
no!” I shouted, terrified of the thought of him charging into
the flames. He gave me a wry grin.

“I’ll
be fine,” he promised flippantly before heroically heading
forwards.

War
Hawk noticed Hego heading towards the prison and faced me, a
horrified expression on her. I bit my lip and she spun around.

“Hego!”
She screamed. He didn’t so much as turn around. I grabbed her arm.

“He’ll
be fine,” I tried to reassure her as well as me.

It’s
easy to watch someone you don’t know play hero. If they fail, you
feel sad but you don’t really have a connection to them. It’s a
little more difficult to play hero yourself, but you know if you
fail, then it’s your fault, and you feel most of the burden. But it’s
the hardest thing to watch someone you love (yes, I love the idiot,
use this against me and I’ll make you wish you hadn’t) play hero.
Because your heart’s wrapped around them in a raw way, so every time
they hurt, you hurt. Just because Hego had super strength, that did
not make him invincible, as much as he’d like to believe that.

War
Hawk and I stood anxiously waiting, looking for any spot of blue. A
part of the roof caved in, and we clutched each other tighter. We
didn’t say a word. Heck, we were lucky if we breathed. It seemed like
years passed as the prison slowly crumbled, my brother still inside.

Well,
I’m sure you figured out based on later events that he survived, so
that kind of ruins the suspense. Trust me, though, it was stressful.
We finally saw a silhouette make his way out of the building, and we
heardsquawking coming from it?

“I
can walk by myself!” War Hawk’s eyes lit up and she broke away
from me.

“Daddy!”
She cried, relieved. Avarius’s irked expression changed to caring as
War Hawk ran up. He held out his arms and they embraced fiercely.

His
uniform was a bit torched, his mask sliding off and his face
glistening with sweat, but he was okay. He looked at the two of them
and gave a crooked smile.

“Your
welcome,” he muttered. I walked up to him and slapped him on the
shoulder.

“Don’t
you ever do that to me again!” I yelled. He might’ve taken me
more seriously if I wasnt smiling in relief that he was okay. His
mask slipped and he adjusted it.

War
Hawk finally pulled away from her father, looking at Hego
incredulously.

“You
saved him,” she murmured. Avarius snorted.

“Like
he had a choice,” he growled. A few cops came by and took
Avarius away, not even looking twice at War Hawk. It never ceases to
amaze me how a silly costume can throw someone off.

She
came up to Hego and wrapped her arms around him once she was sure her
father wasn’t watching.

“You
hate my dad,” she said, a question in her voice. Hego shrugged.

“Yeah,
but I love you, and you love him.”

“Anyone
else could have gone in and saved him.”

“That
“anyone else” was me.”

“You
fought for me.”

“Isn’t
that what I’ve been doing for a couple days now?” War Hawk
laughed, resting her head on his chest.

“My
hero,” she purred. He wrapped his arms around her.

“My
villain.”

I
waited. And waited. Nothing happened. What was I expecting? I turned
away and headed towards my truck.

“If
anyone needs me, I’ll be waiting for evolution to occur. That’ll be
faster than you two getting together,” I muttered.

&&&

“Let
me get this straight; you have a super hero whos head over heels
in love with you.”

“Yeah.”

“You
have him eating out of your hand and doing tricks just for a little
attention.”

“Yeah.”

“He
saved his arch enemy to prove how much he loves you.”

“Yeah.”

“And
you haven’t asked for the world.”

I
glanced over at Artica. It was clear to see who was thinking about
relationships and who was thinking about villainous affairs. The
girls and I were hanging out by our lockers again, waiting for the
bell to ring. War Hawk snorted.

“Okay,
just because he likes me doesn’t mean he’d let me take over the
world.”

“You
haven’t even tried,” Metaphor pointed out.

“You’re
confusing me for my dad,” she stated. Hego was walking down the
hallway in our direction, though it didn’t look like for once we were
his goal.

“Just
ask him,” Golden Arrow urged.

“Alright,
alright,” War Hawk said passively. She turned to him as he
passed, “Hey, Hego, would you let me take over the world?”
Her voice was covered in syrupy sugarness. He hesitated, looking
rather pained.

“Do
you promise to be a good dictator?”

There
were screams of outrage, the villainesses hitting the lockers and
yelling in frustration. He glanced curiously at them and then at War
Hawk.

“They’re
disappointed that I’m not trying to manipulate you for world
domination.”

“Ah.
So, have you thought any more about that Sadie Hawkin’s dance?”
He asked nervously.

“Well,
I was going to go look at some dresses after school with the girls”
she admitted. Hego shrugged.

“Whatever,”
he said, trying to act like he didn’t care. But his big blue eyes
were begging for her invitation.

We
did go look at dresses after school, all of us trying them on and
critiquing them. Well, all of us except for Golden Arrow, who just
critiqued.

“Why
don’t you just ask him?” Golden Arrow said exasperatedly,
“He’s obviously not going to say no.”

“I
don’t know. I just I still feel shy,” War Hawk admittedly.

“Shy?!”
I exclaimed from my stall, slipping off another too-small dress.

“Honey,
if you don’t step up to the plate, another girl will. Why are all of
these dresses covered in sparkles that get all over the place?”
Artica hissed.

“She’s
right, for once. Most girls don’t know about the arrogant Dudley
Do-Right side of him, and would snap up a chance to take a superhero
to a dance. High bragging rights there,” Metaphor murmured.

“I
don’t know, maybe I just shouldn’t go,” War Hawk gave up.

“You
have to go!” We all exclaimed at once. Except for Mischief, who
was singing “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N Roses to
herself.

I
came out of the stall the same time Mischief did in an ugly silver
thing. She grinned, giving a thumbs up. Golden Arrow and I both gave
her a thumbs down.

“Tigress
is going to be more conservative than that,” I said.

“Not
to mention it doesn’t compliment you at all and makes you look like a
Hershey’s kiss,” Golden Arrow added. Mischief started bawling
like a baby, going back to the racks.

Dress
sizes, like pants sizes, were usually different from brand to brand.
So you can’t really say you’re a “4” or something. This
makes dress shopping twice as difficult. I’m browsing around my
section and then gasp. I don’t even look at the size, snatching it
off and heading to my stall.

“Artica,
Metaphor, you have dates yet?” War Hawk changed the subject.

“Yep.
Tyler from stage crew,” Artica said matter-of-factly.

“Really?”
I asked.

“Cute
and funny, a winning combo,” Metaphor said approvingly.

“And
a senior,” I added, “How ’bout you?”

“Oh,
you’ll see,” she said mysteriously.

I
came out and Golden Arrow gasped. It was the perfect dress; made out
of satin, baby blue with off-shoulder sleeves that only came to my
elbows. There were intricate bead designs of silver on the chest and
torso, the long skirt veiled by white see-through tight netting. It
complimented my curves and fit perfectly.

“I.
Need. This. Dress,” I decided. Golden Arrow nodded.

I
glanced at the tag and got a bad case of sticker shock. There was no
way I could afford this! I looked at myself in the mirror. But it was
so perfect An idea worked its way into my mind and though I
objected it at first, I couldn’t see the harm in it. I hid the dress
from sight in the store.

&&&

Carefully,
carefully I eased the door open, hoping my headlights nor my engine
woke anyone up. I breathed a sigh of relief, tip toeing my way
through the first floor. As I passed the dining room, the light
flicked on. My heart shattered my rib cage trying to get away from my
guilty self.

“What’s
in the bag, Shego?” My mom said coolly. I straightened out of my
instinctively defensive position.

“Just
some clothes.”

“Really?
Couldn’t it wait until morning?” She walked towards me, “It
is one a.m., you know.”

“Yeah,
well, you know time zones,” I said lamely, letting her take the
bag from me. Like I could hide that from her.

She
inspected the high heeled shoes, the clutch and the beautiful dress
as I watched helplessly. She shifted the items around.

“Where’s
the receipt?” She asked. I fumbled for a lie, but then she fixed
her golden eyes on me. You can’t beguile a thief.

“I
stole them,” I admitted. Her eyes widened.

“You’re
kidding?”

“No.
I followed everything you ever taught me; disable the security,
destroy all evidence of break-in and theft, etc.”

Mom
wiped a few stray tears away. Oh crap. Very few things made Mom cry.
She was disappointed. She thought I was better than this. If I had
asked-

She
wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly.

“I’m
so proud of you,” she whispered in my ear.

Oh
right, super villain for a mom. I forgot.

&&&

The
day of February 29th dawned gray and quiet, relatively still for the
momentous day that it was. I don’t understand why Sadie Hawkin’s day
is once every four years, but I wasn’t at that meeting anyway. The
day of the dance was here at long last and I was going, date or no
date.

&&&&&&

You
can thank school for this chapter, both for its delay and its
creation. I’ve been concentrating on my work, as any good student,
preventing me from working. Not to mention every time I thought I was
making progress, another plot bunny popped up (the animology bit
being a prime example). Luckily, we had our standardized testing a
week or so ago, giving me extra time after I finished to work on
this. Anyway, it’s up now despite the delay, please review.