Kim Possible Porn Story: Way Too Old School Chapter 10

Kim Possible Porn Story: Way Too Old School Chapter 10

10. At the Mixer of Madness pt. 1

Kim couldnt help but sit and stare, eyes wide at the sheer chaos before her. The figure standing at the closet door seemed to be in constant motion and not even she, with all her training, could hope to follow every movement.

Skirts, blouses, sundresses, baby tees, a thousand different combinations, judged in an instant and sent flying onto the rapidly crowding bed where the former high school heroine sat, transfixed. It took a pair of hip-hugger jeans whizzing past, just missing her head as they went by, to shake her out of it enough to climb to her feet and speak.

Um Savannah?

The human whirlwind that was Savannah Venable suddenly stilled, hand outstretched to reach a frilly little number in green.

No need to be so formal, Sugah. She smiled wide and easy, looking back over her shoulder. Call me Vannah, all my friends do. We are friends, arent we?

Right, friends. Kim smiled back, but it almost fell when the southern blonde went back to the furious fashion search. So, Vannah?

Yes? She didnt even turn this time, starting on a row of midriff-baring tops.

You do realize thats my closet, dont you? the confused and slightly put-off redhead asked as gently as she could.

Well of course its your closet, silly, she answered as if it were the most obvious thing. Ive had my outfit picked before my plane ever left Hartsfield International. That leaves us free to come up with the perfect thing for you to wear tonight.

I appreciate the help, really, but I can pick out my own The last part of what her roommate had said finally clicked into her brain. What do you mean tonight?

Savannah handed Kim what looked like a cross between a college party flier and a formal engraved invitation. She could practically smell the money as she stared at the elaborate filigreed border and elegant script.

Whats this? Kim read the heading before she looked up and arched an eyebrow. An Evening with the Dips?

Savannah snatched the fine linen paper back as she laughed, a refined and almost musical sound.

No, no, not the Dips. A few leftover titters were let out as she corrected her new friend. “The Delta Iota Rho fraternity.

Fraternity? asked Kim, uncertainly. I thought Harvard didnt have a Greek system.

Oh, officially we dont. Savannah explained. Unofficially, there are a several chapters just off campus. All the best parts of a college experience, tradition, academic excellence, lasting friendships

And parties. Kim finished, a smirk in her voice.

Those, too, the blonde admitted with a grin of her own. But the best of the best have always been Delta Iota Rho fraternity and Delta Epsilon Beta sorority.

Let me guess, both had founding members that were Venables?

Oh my, yes! Savannah gasped, looking genuinely shocked. How did you know? Both started up a long while after GW Venables time, but weve been Deltas and DEBs from the very first. My brother Dalton pledged eight years ago while he was here, and Ill be carrying on the tradition at the DEB house later this semester. This get-together tonight at the Delta house is another tradition, only more fun. Sort of a Welcome to Home to Harvard party. You just have to come. You will, wont you?

Kim gave the paper another skeptical glance. Classes had only just begun, and each of her five professors seemed to be under the impression that theirs was the only course Kim was taking.

I dont know I mean the semester hasnt even started yet. Why have a party so early? If its supposed to be a welcoming party, why not have it later so more of the incoming freshmen can find out about it.

But thats the point, Sugah, Savannah said, laughing. Its only for people in the know. Select freshmen get to meet all the right people all in one night, new students and upperclassmen. All the girls from my old boarding school will be there, Im just dying for you to meet them. Well all be best of friends by October, Id bet my trust fund on it.

Well The more she heard about it, the less confident Kim was about her ability to fit in. Not only did the elitist attitude rub her the wrong way, the pressure of saying the right thing would probably destroy any chance of having a good time.

After all, her training was in cheerleading, Kung Fu, crime fighting and international diplomacy, not old money etiquette. And, knowing her boyfriend, Ron would probably wind up feeling worse about not getting accepted here after spending all night listening to a bunch of Harvard snobs.

Please, Kim. And suddenly, Kim noticed a slight trace of neediness in her roommates voice. Its just, youve been so nice and I thought, if youd just meet the other girls, wed all have friends here. Were all a long way from home. Big Daddy always told me, There are only two cures for a homesick heart, my deah. You either come back home, or make a home where youve landed. I think were both here to stay, Sugah. I want to make this dusty old Yankee school feel like home to me, and having a friend like you, someone I really can count on well it couldnt hurt, hmm?

Then, like on registration day, Kim felt like she could see another side of Savannah Venable peeking through the layers of high society glamour and old family traditions. It wasnt nearly enough of a look to tell her much about the young woman underneath, but the fact that there was something there was an encouragement in itself.

She thought about the words her roommate had quoted. And how weird is it that Im rooming with a girl who calls her father Big Daddy? As bad as shed felt watching her parents leaving the dormitory, Kim had a feeling the worst of her homesickness had yet to make an appearance. When it finally hit, it really would be nice to have a friend right there to help her through it. And it wouldnt be fair, or even feasible, to expect Ron to drop everything and rush to comfort her. The idea of a circle of friends at Fair Harvard was sounding better and better.

Okay, Vannah. Im up to do the party thing tonight.

Fabulous! You wont regret it Kim, I promise. Vannah gushed excitedly, but her joyful expression turned puzzled as she saw the other girl walking towards the phone on her nightstand. You have someone to call?

Well yeah, I need to call Ron, she explained, though her tone implied she shouldnt have had to. She lifted the phone from its cradle and started punching in the number.

Your beau? Savannahs own tone wasnt upset exactly, but it was slightly guarded.

Uh-huh Kim was thinking back to the impromptu phone call hed made the night before, a less than dignified dreamy expression passing across her face as she did. Oh, and youre going to have to tell me when and where. It takes him a little over two hours to get here, so if the party starts before that, I need to give him directions so he can meet us there.

Savannahs reaction was less than encouraging. Okay Why does she look like I just cancelled Christmas?

Kim, Im sorry. I shouldve told you.

That didnt help.

Shouldve told me what? she asked, cautiously.

The party, its a brothers-only event. The girls are invited and were allowed to bring friends, but we cant bring a date that isnt a member of the fraternity. Kims face fell as she hung up the phone, leaving Savannah scrambling to find a solution to the problem that she cursed herself for not seeing in advance. Its just one of their silly little boys club rules, Sugah. One night without your sweetie cant hurt anything.

This isnt about a night without my swee my boyfriend. This is about my not wanting to be ogled by a bunch of drunken frat boys.

Now, Kim, Savannah tried to put on her best sensible voice, one she usually only broke out for Sunday brunch with the pastor and the board of deacons back home. We are two proud 21st Century women. It wouldnt cause a scandal for us to seen in public without a gentleman escort, now would it? I said I wanted you to meet my friends, and thats all I wanted. The Deltas may be our hosts, but that doesnt mean we owe them anything more than the honor of our attendance. Theyll have to settle for watching from a distance while we ladies get better acquainted.

We? Kim asked, slightly dubious that someone with her roommates outgoing personality would pass up a chance to flirt with the supposed best of the best college guys.

Yes, we. There was a slight sharpness to her response, making Kim realize that how her question might have been seen as an insult. Im not about to abandon my newest friend just so I can string along a few more prospective suitors. Besides, there is something to be said for playing hard to get.

That last part was accompanied by a playful smile, showing that no offense had been taken. Kim could feel her resolve weakening at the prospect of a girls night out. It was something shed missed out on growing up.

The cheer squad back at Middleton High had never really separated her from the demanding, slightly perfectionist captain shed been in practice. Monique, as much as her friendship meant to her, was as much of a closet tomboy as she was with her older brother exposing her to GWA wrestling back when she was young and impressionable.

Of course, the thought of her best female friends near obsession with guys named Pain King and Steel Toe reminded her why she was having so much trouble accepting her roommates invitation. She found herself looking back at the small nightstand by her bed, staring not so much at the phone itself but who it represented.

You could always call him, Savannahs words brought her out of her thoughts and she regarded the blonde. Why not see what your beau has to say about it?

But if he cant As she trailed off, Kims confusion quickly turned to irritation. Wait a second; you think I need to ask his permission?

Now, I never said that, Sugah, she softly soothed. All I said was that maybe it might be easier for you to decide if you got his opinion on things. He is the reason youre so torn about this, isnt he?

Just as Kim was about to unleash another storm of righteous feminine fury, saying in no uncertain terms that she wasnt anyones property, she stopped short and considered the idea. If she was really honest with herself, she had to admit that she was worried what Ron would think if she went to a party like this without saying anything to him. What if he called the dorms while she was gone? What if he tried her on her Kimmunicator? The simpler model Wade had made for him last year had full video phone capabilities. Hed see it was a party right away. What could she say, then?

That settled it, she couldnt go. But how was she going to break it to Savannah without ruining their tentative friendship? Then it hit her. She already had the answer, and her roommate had been the one to give it to her.

Yeah, she answered, finally. I guess youre right. It wouldnt hurt anything to get his opinion.

Right, like he could be anything but tweaked at the idea of me alone at a frat party, Kim thought as she walked over and picked up the phone. But Vannah was the one that suggested I call him, so she cant get mad if Ron happens to remind me that wed already made plans for tonight.

It was perfect. She even started to look forward to going on their forgotten date. Even though she had no intention of screwing up a Harvard education by becoming a college party girl, that didnt mean she was okay staying in on a Friday night when her BF was just a phone call away.

I just hope Ron catches on to the plan right away. I really have to watch what I say in front of her if I expect this to work.

WTOS

Two minutes later, she found herself staring at the phone in her had like it was some kind of filthy disease bearing creature. Recovering quickly, she put the phone back to her ear.

What did you just say? she asked, hoping that shed heard him wrong.

I said no, Kim, came the answer from the other end. No, nein, nyetzky, no way Josephina, N-O, no. Sorry KP but, as your boyfriend, I forbid it.

You forbid-

The redhead could feel the plastic of the phone cracking slightly in her tightening grip, but she couldnt even get her response all the way out before he cut her off.

Its for your own good. Rons voice was calm, but as hard and firm as shed ever heard it. You know whatd happen if you put yourself in that kind of situation if I wasnt watching you every second. We both know exactly what youd do.

Ronald Stoppable, are you calling me a-

I dont have to call you anything, Kim. Her face went from pink to nearly crimson when he interrupted her again. Your actions talk plenty loud. Or did you forget that exchange student from Italy your family hosted last year?

I A little of her bluster faded at the reminder. Okay, big deal. One time.

The free safety and cornerback from my old Mad Dogs team? Those words in that calm tone made her flinch, taking a bit more of anger with it.

I apologized to you for that, why do you have to keep bringing it-

The whole starting lineup for the high school varsity basketball squad?

That… I… I didn’t mean for it to happen, Ron, you know I didn’t, Kim felt the fight leaving her as her shoulders started to slump.

I know, said Ron, gently but still firmly. Just like I know you didn’t mean for it to happen with the entire Middleton Volunteer Fire Department, either. Promise me, KP.

Okay, okay, she said, sounding defeated and more than a little ashamed. I promi-

Do it right, her boyfriend broke in, his tone warning. I, Kimberly Anne Possible

I, Kimberly Anne Possible she repeated with a sigh.

Do solemnly swear

Do solemnly swear she parroted him listlessly, letting herself fall back on her bed.

That I will use neither oven, nor stovetop, nor any major kitchen appliance

That I will use neither oven, nor stovetop, nor any major kitchen appliance

Unless I am under the watchful eyes of my bon-diggety boyfriend, Ron.

Unless I am under the watchful eyes of wait. Kim sat up suddenly, life rushing back into her features. Are you saying?

Finish the promise, Kim. The warmth in his voice was back, full force.

Unless I am under the watchful eyes of my bon-diggety boyfriend, Ron, she finished excitedly. So you mean it? Youre going to try and teach me again.

Kimila, you can do anything, remember? Including learn to cook. You just need a little supervision so nobody gets hurt.

Kim blushed again as she was once more reminded of her past crimes against cuisine.

Rosalia had been staying with the Possibles for about a week when she had decided to make the girl from Napoli an authentic Italian dinner to make her feel more at home. That night, shed learned some useful phrases in Italian, like Portarmi all’ospedale which means Take me to the hospital and Il mio stomaco brucia con i fuochi dall’Inferno or My stomach burns with the fires from Hell.

The two football players had been part of a cheerleading tradition, every girl on the squad would make dinner for two players assigned at random the night before the big game against Lowerton. With both players getting their stomachs pumped, Coach Barkin had made Ron play offence and defense the entire night. Hed been so tired the next day; hed actually destroyed one of Drakkens doomsday machines by nodding off and hitting the self-destruct button with his forehead.

The basketball team had been another cheerleading fiasco. The team mom had, ironically, gone on maternity leave so theyd been in charge of packing sack lunches for the boys to take to their away game. It wouldnt have been nearly as bad if she hadnt packed one for the bus driver, too.

The worst, of course, had to be the infamous Middleton Volunteer Fire Departments Annual Pancake Breakfast, spring of 05. For the next week following, Team Possible had found themselves answering every fire-related emergency as the members of the fire department couldnt bring themselves to be more than twelve feet from a bathroom for any length of time.

So, her boyfriend and future cooking instructor said, ending her reminiscing. Was their anything else you wanted to talk about, besides the kitchenette in your dorm?

Actually, there was one thing Kim had to choose her words very carefully if she was going to convince the clearly eavesdropping Savannah that she wasnt trying to get out of going to the party. You know my new roommate, right?

Miss Georgia Peach? Yeah, I remember. Is she giving you any trouble? he asked, concerned. Are we looking at Bonnie II: Revenge of Queen B?

No, its nothing like that, she said, quickly, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. She invited me to a party tonight, so I can meet some of her girl friends.

Aw, you see, Kim? You were all worried over nothing. Kim was taken aback by how happy for her he sounded. Of course shed want to brag about her badical new roomie.

Right, well Shed been thrown by his instantaneous encouragement but she went on, the bomb she was about to drop guaranteed to change his tune. Its at a local fraternity house. The girls arent allowed to bring dates that arent members, so you wouldnt be able to come.

So itll just be ladies night, then? That sounds perfect!

Yeah I know, it huh? Her jaw had to be down around her ankles as she processed what shed heard, his voice no less cheerful than before. You think its a good idea?

Sure! he answered enthusiastically. You know how I get sometimes. If theyre anything like most of the trust fund babies weve met, theyll tear me apart for every little thing. Better they get to know you first. Then, when youre all friends, introduce them to me one at a time. Lets face it; some people can only handle the Ron Man in small doses.

But, but This was not going at all to plan, and she knew Savannah could tell something was up. Ron, this is a frat party, with frat guys. What do you think is going to happen if they see me there without you as my date? Do you honestly trust them to be perfect gentlemen?

Uh, no her boyfriend answered, confused. Why would I have to trust them? I trust you.

Silence.

Ron You know those times when you say something that makes me realize that youre the only guy for me?

Yeah. Oh! Is now one of those times?

Uh-huh she replied, letting herself lie back on her bed again as she idly played with a strand of her long red hair.

Booyah! came his loud response. Wait, what did I say?

Shaking her head, she laughed for the umpteenth time at her best friends cluelessness.

Nope, it wouldnt be fair if I told you. Then you could say things like that all time and Id be totally under your power.

Awww, that tanks! I never get to have anything totally under my power. Kim laughed again as she heard him sulk. Well, have fun at your party, KP. Oh, and see if you remember any of the girls from your cheer tryouts. Its never too early to start campaigning for that captain spot. Even if they didnt make it, if theyre on the squad next year, you want them in your camp.

Thanks Ron, Ill remember that. She was still basking in the glow the words hed said so effortlessly. I love you.

Love you too, Kim. Now, go on and wow em!

With a pleased sigh, she put the phone back in its cradle then closed her eyes. She wrapped her arms around herself and soaked in the warm feelings. He trusts me. Id be surrounded by college guys and he believes enough in us that hes telling me to have a good time.

A delicate cough sounded in the room and Kim opened her eyes to see a rather smug southerner staring back at her. With a grin of her own, the teen crime fighter shifted so that she was facing her roommate completely, her head propped on one arm.

So, about my outfit, she said, coyly. Im thinking something that says I know you cant take your eyes off me but you dont have a snowballs chance in a volcano.

WTOS

Ron hung up the phone, thrilled at his best friend and partner getting along so well with her new roommate. It was inspiring, really. In fact, he found himself inspired head over and see what was happening with his. Mac had been sort of quiet lately. Actually, hed been quiet for awhile.

Okay, hes quiet unless I force him to talk. That doesnt make him a bad guy. One of my closest guy friends spent about a decade afraid to leave his room. I can take a little shyness.

Walking around his bed to the door that led into the common living room, Ron glanced briefly at the small table by the bedside. Specifically, he looked at the doll-sized furniture that had been unused since earlier that afternoon when Rufus had told him he was going out. Thats right, told. Ronald Stoppable was a man of many talents, one of which being a rather gifted linguist. English, Spanish, Japanese, and even some of the more esoteric languages of man came fairly easy to him. Giant cockroach and mutant wiener dog came to him almost instinctively. But he would always be proudest of his near fluent grasp of what he called Rufussian, the language of the naked mole rat.

Contrary to popular belief, Ron and Rufus didnt always understand each other. Rufus was a bit of a quicker study, picking up simple human phrases almost immediately. Ron, on the other hand, ended up with a much more complete grasp of his buddys mother tongue. There are only so many squeaks, yips, grunts and growls a mole rat can produce but, from those simple base sounds, a complex matrix of base words, prefixes, suffixes, modifiers, and radicals is formed.

Of course, language is hardly an exact science, and even Ron occasionally found himself lost in the translation. For example, when Rufus had said why he was going out, hed used the root grunt for flower with a daylight modifier squeak, then followed it with chitter meaning mouse but used the feminine radical afterwards instead of the typical masculine. Ron couldnt make heads or tails of it, but had wished his little buddy a good time, regardless.

He knocked when he got to his roommates doorway, despite the door already being open. By the dim red light of the tiny bedside lamp, the only illumination Mac would let into his room, Ron saw the young man sitting on the edge of his bed, the one closest to the lamp; look up from the paper in his hand to regard him for a moment, before letting his eyes fall back to it. He could see that he was still wearing that antique-looking robe, something youd think a Victorian English gentleman might wear to sit in his study smoking a pipe.

Hey, Mac, said Ron, not offended by the lack of attention. Hows tricks?

I am unsure as to your meaning, Ron, the taller boy said, not looking up. Do you wish to know if I am being deceptive, or if I intend to perform feats of skill? There is a usage from the late 1800s where trick came to mean baggage or other belongings. Or are you inquiring as to whether I have been successful in attempts to prostitute myself?

Okay The freckled blond fought the temptation to back away slowly. Lets try again. Hey Mac. How are you?

Ah, an informal greeting with an implied question as to my well-being. While he still hadnt looked up again, the other young Miski man had allowed himself a small smile. I am somewhat perplexed by this letter from Corinne.

Corinne? Ron was more than a little surprised to have gotten not only a straight answer but what sounded like actual personal information from his reclusive roommate. Is she your girlfriend?

Yes, she is this subj she is my girlfriend.

Cool! And she wrote you this soon? She must really miss you, said Ron, missing the slip in his excitement. Wait a sec, you said perplexed, which I know is a school word for confused. Thank you, word-a-day desk calendar. Theres something about the letter thats got you mixed up? Well, maybe I can help. You mind reading it out loud?

Very well. Mac took a breath and began to read in his usual soft monotone. Dear Ian

Whoa, time out! Ron cut the reading short; bring his hands up into a T shape. Your name is Ian?

That is correct. Ian MacKarish. Satisfied that his explanation was acceptable, he took another breath and started again. Dear Ian

Would you be mad if I still called you Mac? asked Ron, hopefully. Ive never known a Mac.

I would not mind, answered Ian, or Mac, blithely. He waited a full five seconds, this time, before taking a breath and beginning once more. Dear Ian Its over. This is the hardest letter-

WHAT? the excitable sidekick dashed across the room, snatching the letter out of Macs hand. Let me see that.

Dear Ian,

Its over. This is the hardest letter I will ever have to write. I know I said we could make a long-distance relationship work, but I just cant take the pressure anymore. It wouldnt be fair to either of us to pretend any longer. College is supposed to be some of the best years of our lives, and I cant expect you not to experience them to the fullest, just like you wouldnt expect me not to. Ive met so many nice and interesting people here in Austin. One person in particular has been especially great. His name is Danny, and I know you two would get along so great. Im sorry if all this seems sudden, but I have to be true to my own heart. We were friends for so many years before we got together, so I know youll understand. Just like I know that our friendship is too strong for something like this to ruin it. Dont worry; well still see each other when I come back to Boston for winter break. Not spring break, though. Dannys uncle has a time share in Cancun. I promise everything is going to be exactly the same between us except for the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

All my love,

Corinne

P.S. I feel like this will make our friendship so much stronger.

As Ron read the last line out loud, he felt the arm holding the letter go slack and the letter itself slowly glided down to the floor. He was stunned, completely shocked into silence.

For all of four seconds.

DUDE!! Turning around, quick as lightning, Ron reached out and grabbed Mac by the shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. That is the most sick and wrong thing Ive ever seen in my LIFE!

So, you were able to discern what it was that I did incorrectly? the limp-haired boy asked, his voice a notch more emotional than usual. I have been analyzing her correspondence since I received it this morning, but I was unable to determine my error.

What you did incorrectly? Ron straightened up, repeating his friends words in disbelief. Mac, buddy, you didnt do anything wrong, trust me.

Then the error was Corinnes?

Youre darn right the error was Corinnes! he shouted in answer, pointing an accusing finger at the letter on the floor. She dumped you just so she could go nuts at some party school! That that grrrrRRARGH!

Ron, you seem greatly upset by this development. Macs quiet observation made him pause for a moment, just now noticing that hed started pacing back and forth in the darkened room without even realizing it. Is it common to express such displeasure at the abrupt end of anothers courtship?

Uh well, Ron struggled for an answer, not entirely sure himself why the letter had affected him so much.

No, that wasnt true. He would never admit it out loud, but he knew exactly what it was about Macs situation with his high school sweetheart that was getting to him.

That couldve been me and Kim if Id had to stay back in Colorado. He shook his head almost violently to clear the thought away. No, no way. KP would never do that to me. Not a chance. Still if I hadnt made it up here with her, it wouldnt have made things any easier on us, thats for sure.

I mean, its just the injustice of it all, yknow? he recovered, lamely. Gets me right here. But what about you, man? How are you holding up?

This is not how I had planned it to be. Mac sounded even more listless than before, if that were possible. There is much I still need to learn

Ron opened his mouth to speak, then promptly shut it again. A little voice in his head that sounded remarkably like Kims reminded him to think before he said something that was likely to get him into trouble.

Hmmm On the one hand, I was able to help Felix and Zita get together after graduation. On the other hand, trying to get Wade together with Monique was a complete disaster. On the other hand Wait, only monkeys have more than two hands! No more hands!

What was I thinking about again?

Oh yeah, should I or should I not try to be Ron the matchmaker for my new pal Mac? Well, I guess if I learn from what I did wrong with Wade, itll be okay. So, what did I learn from that? Um Oh! Under no circumstances am I to dress him up as former U.S. president Abraham Lincoln.

Even if it is hilarious.

With that settled, Ron put on a great big grin and sat down on the bed next to his roommate, slinging and arm over his shoulders.

Mac, my man, he said. The Ron man is going to see to it that you get back up on that horse.

Get back on the horse that bucked you, an idiom referring to alcohol consumed as a means of curing a hangover, also called the hair of the dog that bit you, Mac recited, to Rons bewilderment. But I have not experienced symptoms of excessive alcoholic consumption. Unless you refer to an actual horse. You are aware that Corinne is a human female, are you not? An equine mammal would have been incapable of written correspondence.

Uh-huh. I have no idea what you just said, Ron admitted. But, thats beside the point. If you want to learn about the great mystery that is woman, youve come to the right guy.

You are knowledgeable in the practices of courtship? The touch of hopefulness in Macs voice was all it took to convince Ron that this was a good idea.

Hey, Im dating Kim Possible, he answered simply. I gotta be doing something right.

WTOS

Despite her best efforts, Kim couldnt keep herself from fidgeting as she stood on the sidewalk in front of the large, three story house where the party was being held. She looked back, watching as Savannah slipped a few bills out of her designer purse and into the waiting hand of the taxi driver. Not bothering to do anything as lowbrow as wait for the man to make change, she turned walked to stand right beside her redheaded roommate.

So, what do you think? Savannah gestured to the Victorian structure with a painstakingly manicured hand.

The building itself was painted a gleaming white. There were more than a dozen windows facing out to the street, all trimmed with a charcoal grey to match the sloping roof. Directly above the huge double doors that served as the main entrance were the Greek letters D I P, with the words Delta Iota Rho just underneath them.

It looks nice, she said, haltingly. I havent really seen too many places like this. Evil villains lairs, those are more my area of expertise. I mean, if you wanted to know where I thought the most likely place theyd hide a death ray What am I doing here? This is so not my sitch.

Kim, dont be ridiculous. Savannah put a reassuring hand on Kims back, which had the added benefit of keeping her from turning around and bolting. Weve come all this way and I will not let that dress I picked out for you go to waste.

The dress in question was a dark blue spaghetti strap number that came down to a few inches above the knee. Shed bought it as a replacement for a similar dress that had been partially sucked into a swirling vortex of nothingness on her first, and last, real date with Josh Mankey and had worn it on several of her Saturday night dates with Ron.

A pair of green topaz earrings Ron had brought back from his last solo trip to Japan and the golden necklace with its black stone and intricate gilded branch design accented the dress perfectly. She hadnt bothered to put up her hair, but that might have been a subconscious desire to be recognized as the world famous Kim Possible. Being known as someone who regularly saved the world is great for when you worry about feeling inferior.

The blonde next to her was looking equally stunning in her white backless top that seemed to float rather than hang down from around her neck and a multi-tiered skirt in pale blue. Unlike Kim, shed decided to wear heels, giving the dainty southern bell a good two inches on her new friend.

I dont think I can do this, Kim half pleaded, looking at her with partial puppy dog pout.

Oh would you listen to yourself, Sugah? The exasperated southerner put a bit of pressure behind the hand on Kims back and they both started up the walkway. Didnt you have that motto, I can do everything?

Anything, she corrected automatically.

Well, this is anything. Savannah broke contact as they reached the heavy oak doors, then reached up and played three sharp taps with the wrought iron knocker. So, lets do it.

The door in front of them swung open almost immediately, giving Kim her first look at a college party for the young and absurdly wealthy. Relief flooded in immediately when she saw what the other female guests were wearing, all of them falling into that most uncertain of fashion categories: dressy casual. Clearly shed been right to trust her roommates judgment; her outfit was just classy enough without drawing too much attention.

Turning her attention to the brothers of Delta Iota Rho themselves, the first thing she noted was that they all seemed to be wearing the same dark grey blazers, each bearing a patch with their fraternitys letters sewn over the spot where their hearts would be.

Their individuality, from what she could see, was based on what was worn under the jackets. Some were formal in pressed white shirts and ties, others in simple button downs or sweaters, a few wore tee-shirts and left their blazers unbuttoned to further express their nonconformity and yes, that guy by the snack table had elected to go the body paint route.

They took their first steps inside, revealing even more Ivy League revelers in the vast function hall beyond. Kim was sure that, if theyd had on red jumpsuits and carried plasma lasers, shed have no trouble charging right in. As it was, she was fighting the urge to turn and run before too many of them spotted her. Savannah sensed it and nudged a little closer into her side, putting a hand on Kims elbow to gently lead her inside.

Heads turned. There were double takes, even some triple takes, as the two beauties promenaded through the foyer. The incoming freshmen had been to the entry ceremony, including the paparazzi feeding frenzy it’d become afterwards, and anyone else would have to have seen the papers, magazines, TV news broadcasts, or any of the other sources of gossip screaming that the Kim Possible had come to Harvard. That said, it was obvious that the only person who wasn’t shocked at the sight of the famous redhead was the blonde shepherding her around the crowded room.

Ignoring the murmurs of the gawking masses, and praying that her new friend could do the same, Savannah scanned the well-appointed entry hall for any familiar face. No luck there, though she did try to file away some of the more handsome Delta faces for the not-too-distant future.

For a minute she was close to panicking, convinced that three quarters of an hour hadnt been fashionable late enough, when she spied their salvation a few feet away from the large but currently unused fireplace. All four of them there, happily catching up but anticipation clearly in their body language, waiting for one more reunion and one very important introduction.

Young ladies. Young ladies! Savannah spoke up, using a stern warbling voice that caused four sets of eyes to dart instantly to their location. Lest we forget Want of sense is not so unpardonable

As want of manners! all five girls finished as one, leaving one green-eyed freshmen girl feeling slightly out of the loop.

What followed could best be described as controlled chaos. Savannah and her friends closed the gap with the speed of a wave breaking on the shore, but not one of them lost poise for even a second. There was none of the squealing she normally associated with long lost girl friends, only scattered cheek kisses and impossibly dainty hugs. As if by some unspoken signal, they all broke off and formed a line facing her.

Kim couldnt stop her mind from comparing them to a rather glamorous firing squad.

Kim, allow me to introduce my four co-founders of the Harvard-Bound Honeys of Ms. Lavaters Academy for Girls, the blonde said with a smile and a grand sweep of her arm. From my immediate left

Savannah gestured to the raven haired girl beside her who took a step forward. She was pale, not sickly looking at all, but compared to the others she clearly didnt care about her tan. Even Kim herself, with her almost pathological fear of freckling inspiring her apply sunscreen daily, had a darker complexion. Blue eyes seemed to be appraising her where she stood, and somewhat thin but well-formed lips suggested that the other girl was moderately impressed with what she saw. Her nose extended a bit farther than the others but it didnt detract from her pretty face, which was partially hidden by the bangs of her otherwise short, borderline boyish, haircut.

Maxine Abel-Encohm, she said with a noticeable Long Island accent, and extended her hand. Otherwise known as Max, the Honeys resident Jewish-American Princess. Im here to study Tax Law at HLS.

Max stepped back, prompting the next to go ahead. Aside from the dark hair, the rest of her was in stark contrast with the New York native shed just met. Her skin was a rich brown, but her features suggested Indian rather than African ancestry. A smile showed both warmth and a set of perfectly white teeth, and her long, lustrous hair framed her face well.

Malati Pratigya, but you can call me Mala, she said, her accent sounding primarily British with a hint of her native India, also offered her hand in greeting. I plan to study Health Care Law so I can work with my mother. Shes a hospital administrator in Maine.

Oh? Kim saw some potential common ground. My mom works in a hospital back home.

Of course, Dr. Ann Possible. Her last paper for the AMA Journal was required reading for mothers neurology staff.

At a loss for the words to continue, Kim just smiled and let Mala step back. Her mom was definitely getting a phone call over the weekend. What kind of daughter was she, not even knowing that her brain surgeon mother had had work published let alone congratulated her on it?

Another of the Honeys stepped up, as beautiful as the other four but in a different, more classic way. Her figure was fuller than Kims or any of the other five, but especially in those places that left her feeling slightly self-conscious. Sporting strawberry blonde locks in an intricate up do that had a definite curl to it in the places where it hung loose, this freshmen with her half-lidded grey eyes had curves that wouldve had Shego greener with envy.

And, judging from the bronzed skin showing at the edges of her low-rider jeans and lower cut blouse, she had that elusive all-over tan. How very European. A few missions along the Mediterranean had somewhat forcibly introduced her to the concept of the nude beach, but shed never had the courage herself, nor had she the willingness to let Ron go native. Rufus, on the other hand, had been declared unofficial mascot of three different beaches.

Laurette Closieur, but zee ozzers all call me Lor, so you may az well, Cherie, even a few syllables of her rich but heavily accented intro confirmed to Kim that Lor was from across the pond, specifically France. I wish to specialize in zee Real Estate Law. Perhaps claim back some of zee territory Bonaparte sold away to your Thomas Jefferson, non?

Off the top of her head, Kim could think of a high school somewhere in Louisiana that the United States would probably be better off without. Let it go, Kim. Its not Delacroixs fault that their cheer captain was a brush-stealing, boyfriend flirting little

Shaking loose old bitterness she turned to the next girl in line, the last besides Savannah herself. In keeping with the internationally diverse nature of the group, she had distinctly Asian features. Kim felt her hackles rising involuntarily before ruthlessly stamping any negative thoughts down. Whoever she was, this was not Yori from Yamanouchi, or even that Amika girl Ron had practically been gushing over not long ago.

Kimberly Ann Possible could be accused of a lot of things, but shed been raised better than to be prejudiced against a person because of their gender or ethnicity. Even if she happened to wear her hair in a short style eerily similar to the ninja girl whod once crushed so obviously on her best friend or was looking at her with a more than slightly superior smirk.

Bai Huiliang, she said, without a hint of accent to speak of. But only my grandparents call me Huiliang. Its Halle. Ill be going into Criminal Law.

D.A.s office? asked Kim. Shed worked with several prosecuting attorneys in the past, giving testimony that helped put the bad guys in jail. Didnt do much to keep them from breaking out, unfortunately.

Heh, you wish. Halles hand rested on her hip in a manner that gave Kim several unpleasant Rockwaller-related flashbacks. Somebody has to stand up for the rights of the accused. Do you have any idea how many of the people you helped put in prison were denied due process?

Kim opened her mouth, first in shock, then in preparation to defend herself, when Savannah stepped in and lifted a restraining hand in front of Halle.

Down girl, she warned, playfully, before turning back to Kim. Halles nobodys shrinking violet, but at least shes on our side. Now, all of you know me, so that only leaves me the pleasure of introducing the hero to millions, all around super-woman, my roommate, Kim Possible, taking her first strides into fair Harvard with a focus on International Law.

International Law? Max cocked her head to one side curiously. So, what, you want to get a job at the UN?

The Peace Corps? guessed Mala.

Interpol? Lor threw in her guess as well.

One of those might be nice Kim began, hesitating slightly at the topic. But I was also considering this other organization.

Really? Which one? Halle looked expectantly as she waited for her answer.

Oh, not very well known. I doubt youve heard of it. The look she got from the future defense attorney let her know this wasnt the last time shed be asked about it.

After the introductions came the necessary oohs and ahhs over what everyone was wearing, something that had Kim silently thanking Monique for their long hours discussing fashion together as she more than held her own, even among the boarding school set. The topics moved on to their impressions of the campus, the surrounding area, the upcoming semester and, best of all, not only was the conversation stimulating her intellectually, but it still managed to strike her as being so wonderfully, undeniably girly. This was what shed come hoping for. Not long into the evening, Kim had to admit to herself that this had been a fantastic idea.

WTOS

Five minutes out the door, Ron had to admit to himself that this might not have been the best of ideas. He was in the sprawling parking lot that served all the dorms on this part of the campus. Following about a dozen feet behind him was the reason he was starting to doubt the chances that good would come of this.

I still wish you would have allowed me to wear my coat, Ron, the lanky freshman trailing him complained for the umpteenth time.

You mean the floor-length, cover your entire body, Hey everybody, Im a flasher trenchcoat? Ron asked, tiredly. Rule Number Two of the Ron Stoppable Guide to Gettin in Good with the Ladies: When youre on the prowl, dress to impress.

But, didnt you say that the premier rule of the Ron Stoppable Guide to Getting in Good with the Ladies was Always be yourself? MacKarish looked genuinely confused at the apparent contradiction.

Well, yeah but hey, just look at me. Ron gestured downward, indicating the white dinner jacket he typically wore for the swankier dates with Kim over his traditional mock turtleneck in black. Hed also broken out the dress pants from the tuxedo given to him by Canadian Secret Agent Joe. Not my normal look, but I make it my own. Be yourself, but be the best self you can be. Right now, we want to move you away from the reject from a bad 40s detective movie self so some lucky girl can get to know you better. Besides, what do you need a coat like that for? Its still practically summer, you can get away with that light jacket.

It is just Mac looked down, staring down at the dark brown slacks that covered his long legs, with his feet set unusually far apart from each other, even while walking. These appendages are so unsightly.

Cmon, theyre not that bad, Ron reassured him, gently. Sure theyre a little skinny, but it happens to the best of us. Maybe if you didnt walk so

He hadnt finished his thought before a memory came to him of asking Mac about his wide stance, both for standing and walking. His roommate had explained, and demonstrated, that having his feet a normal distance apart was a recipe for disaster, making the other college boy even clumsier than Ron had been at his worst.

Never mind.

They walked in silence a little while longer, Ron no longer worrying where he should take his new friend to meet women, so much as why he thought he could do this in the first place. He was about to turn around and call the whole thing off when he spotted a familiar form up ahead.

Hey Steve! he shouted, and jogged over to where his new teammate was standing with a bunch of the other guys whod recently made the team. You guys look like youre ready to paint the town in red and brown.

The reference to the Miskatonic school colors brought a few chuckles and some hearty affirmatives from the gathered ballplayers. Steve extended a hand and exchanged a quick round of dap, mercifully brief and fairly uncomplicated, with his new Caucasian friend. He was looking fairly sharp in his open black and white warm-up jacket over a white tank top and a loose pair of black jeans. To top it all off, he was wearing a crisp white fedora with a black band over a black do-rag.

Ron, man, I dont know how you found us, but I guess were just lucky you showed anyway, he said, draping an arm around the shorter guys shoulders. We tried to call you, tell you we were heading out tonight, but all we got was some house in Colorado.

Colorado? Heh really? Somebody mustve put the number down wrong, I guess.

Of course, Ron knew that he had obviously put his home phone number on the team contact list instead of his cell number. No point in saying it now, though, none at all.

So you up for it, Stoppable? asked a guy Ron vaguely remembered trying out for tight end. Theres this big party in town, and were all going.

A party? Rons interest was piqued; this could be exactly what he was looking for. What kind of party?

All I know is that its got the three essential Bs, explained Steve with a big grin. A band, booze, and booty.

Rons teen hero alarm was blaring in his head when he heard the second B and with good reason. Hed asked around, and none of his teammates present met the legal drinking age requirement of 21 for the state of Massachusetts. Still, he did his best to silence that still small voice. After all, these guys considered him to be cool. That was something he found he had a hard time throwing away, for all his claims of non-conformity in high school. Besides, no one said he had to drink, and he could do some good by keeping his fellow footballers from driving drunk.

Im there, he said, proud of himself for sounding more confident than he felt. Only do you mind if I bring a friend along?

That depends, answered a fairly hefty member of the lineman contingent. Is it that babe Marie from the tryouts? That girl serves her Jambalaya hot, I guar-ahn-tee!

Sorry, no dice, he said, amid the others laughter and mock disappointed sighs. Actually, its

Ron, is this where I am to meet my new girlfriend? came a voice from behind them, in an overly loud tone that made Ron wince. These people all appear to be male. Were you aware of that?

The Miski Freshmen of the gridiron regarded the intruder, with his flat, dull hair and his long, skinny legs that he kept bowlegged, making him look like hed just finished riding the bull in a rodeo. He also had a sort of shifty look about him, constantly turning his head to check the space behind him.

Guys Ron gestured unenthusiastically towards the strange newcomer. Meet my roommate, Mac. Mac, these are the guys. They just invited me to go with them to a party in town.

Is this party where I am to observe the females? he asked, hopefully.

Hold that thought, Steve said, quickly, before pulling Ron off to the side. I dont know about this guy, man. Hes got gamekiller written all over himself, Ron. Now, I know you got your own world-saving babe waiting for you, but the rest of us were hoping to get some tonight.

Steve, chillax, alright? I know hes a little different. Look, his girl dumped him in a letter. A LETTER! Ron saw very little sympathy in his friends face. Okay, how about this? Hell be my responsibility, see? I make sure he doesnt do anything weird enough around you guys that it chases the girlies away, fare enough?

I still dont know Steve took one more look over his shoulder at Mac, who now appeared to be scribbling something in a small notepad hed insisted on bringing. Dont you think this guys a little too much of a charity case?

Hey, you know what they say. Ron grinned as he led them back to the group. Charity begins at home.

WTOS

At the same time, less than a mile away, two sets of four paws scurried along as fast as rodently possible. Up ivy covered walls, over rooftops, through the tall grass, the little brown field mouse navigated with practiced ease, forcing her travelling companion to pay close attention to her lithe, swishy tail or risk lagging behind. Of course, Rufus admitted to himself privately that he was beginning to understand why his human had started insisting that Kim lead the way through those ventilation ducts. Even if the trip is rough, the view can more than make up for it.

He wasnt sure what it was about Daisy that had made him agree to this night out. Heck, he wasnt sure about much at all when it came to his new friend. After the incident in the walls, hed tried to tell her that no thanks were necessary, that it was all in a days work for a member of Team Possible, but shed insisted. Did that mean that she was interested? Was he? Hadnt he totally sworn off inter-species dating after that fiasco with the hairless cat? These were questions without answers, but for now hed follow her and see where the evening took them.

Another five minutes saw the evening taking them to what had to be the most upscale community in Essex County. Manicured lawns the size of football fields, three-story mansions that positively reeked of historic significance, not to mention self-importance, and garages that were practically classic car museums were sprawled out before them. Mostly, Rufus was thinking about motion sensors, guard dogs, and groundskeepers who probably wouldnt be all that charitable to animals that had the potential to lower property values. Still, they went on.

He followed her all the way to one of the lesser maintained estates, where the owners were either gone or too cheap to hire a caretaker. Racing across the overgrown lawn, Daisy immediately darted into the shrubbery that ran along the side of the side of the house, making sure to go in a few feet to the left of a set of warped cellar doors. Rufus went in right after her and, once hed gotten past the initial foliage, was shocked at what he saw.

Animals, wild and domesticated alike, were lined up in front of a hole in the cellar wall. There were two gruff looking badgers flanking either side of the breach, looking every bit the part of a pair of bouncers at an exclusive club. Rufus watched as they seemed to be doing just that, checking the other critters over before deciding whether or not theyd be allowed in. A pair of jills got in quick, one of the female ferrets flirting shamelessly with the doorbeasts as her less daring friend blushed hard enough that it showed through her fur. A mink discretely slipped over a pair of juicy grubs under the guise of shaking paws, gaining admittance for himself and his two dates. A chipmunk was stopped, searched, and found to be smuggling a small plastic baggie in his left cheek. Clearly, hed been hoping to expand his catnip market. Finally, they were at the front of the line, having watched a scruffy looking Chihuahua be turned away, muttering as he left that he didnt need no stinking badgers to tell him when he wasnt wanted.

They looked Rufus up and down, the unspoken question fairly obvious. He stifled a growl before calmly explaining that he came by his hairlessness naturally, not from disease and definitely not because he was part of any supremacist group. Things mightve gotten out of hand if Daisy hadnt picked that moment to pop out from behind her slightly taller date. The badgers recognized her instantly and stepped aside, smiling. They did shoot Rufus a warning look when Daisy took his paw to lead him inside, letting him know theyd be keeping an eye on him.

As he stepped through the hole in the paneling, he couldnt help but blink his beady black eyes at what he was seeing. It was a wine cellar. Bottles, casks, even barrels covered the walls from floor to ceiling and covered the floor from wall to wall. One such barrel had apparently fallen from its stack, the aged wood breaking on impact and spilling about half of its contents. The other half, it seemed, had stayed in the broken barrel that looked, to Rufus, to be the right size for an above-ground swimming pool. Next to the barrel was a moderately well-groomed raccoon sitting on his haunches next to a pile of acorns. Before he could ask Daisy about them, their purpose became clear as he watched the impromptu bartender pull the top off of one of the acorns before reaching in and dipping out an acorn cap-sized portion of the wine before handing it to a waiting squirrel.

With another yank, she practically dragged him across the dusty floor as she began excitedly making introductions. There where mice, moles, voles, rabbits, rats, cats, jays, crows, owls, lizards, toy poodles, miniature pinschers, hedgehogs, chinchillas, and just about every other type of animal in the area that could have fit through the improvised entrance. Predator and prey, side by side in their pursuit of a good time, a tenuous truce made in the name of fine wine and general debauchery.

Not good, muttered Rufus, slipping into English so as not to offend his date. Daisy was obviously well on her way to having a great time, so hed keep his worries to himself. For now.

Kim Possible and related characters are the property of Walt Disney.

The Miskatonic of this story is the creation of HP Lovecraft.

Rons benefactor is the work of Robert E. Howard.

The chapter above is the work of Miskatonics Dean of Cat Herding, Brother Bludgeon.

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